Sleepless Nights...

Kaylee has been without an immune system for almost a month. Her doctors think it is the chemo that is ravaging her system and putting her at risk. We had a bone marrow test done last Wednesday to see if the cancer had come back and it showed that it hadn't. The test was done on Wednesday and all the results came back negative on Friday. On Friday night Kaylee looked soo tired and we told her. She said "how would you sleep at night if you had to wait for news if your cancer had returned?"

It was at that moment that I looked at her differently. She wasn't my kid but a person. A person scared for her health. Wow! Can you imagine the fright you or I would have concerning our health? I get caught up that this person is my kid and we are going through this together but it really is just Kaylee. I don't have to get the needles, bone marrow, or spinal taps. It is my baby but ultimately I go to sleep but does she on days like those? Apparently not. My baby but it's her sleepless nights! I love you Kaylee Marie and I'm so glad the school year is over. You are a Junior as of today, and I know this coming school year will be an awesome time in your life.

Mallory Holtman is awesome...

On May 8th I shared a story with everyone about a Softball Team from Central Washington University. The article made me feel good so I wrote the University. I loved the kindness and the compassion that took place and I thought that I would drop a line to let them know. I never expected to hear back from them - but I did. Shortly after the University received my letter they responded and asked if Kaylee would be interested in becoming an honorary Wildcat. They would be sending the apparel. Soon someone else responded and told me they had shared my letter with the team and everyone was praying and cheering on Kaylee. Then last night I received a phone call from Mallory Holtman, the first baseman, who wanted to personally tell me how much my note meant to her. Out of all the talk shows and exposure she called me and Kaylee! Thank you Mallory, the call touched me and Kay! The story can be read on my blog or by clicking the link I've included. http://msn.foxsports.com/olympics/story/8091708?MSNHPHCP&GT1=39002 Here's what I wrote to the school and team.

My name is Michael Quijas and I have a child who is battling cancer, leukemia, since June 21, 2007. I read the story about your girls softball team just now and it made my eyes fill with tears. So many times we get caught up in winning and playing and forget about the real important issues in life. Those issues or important things are how or what you did during your day to make a difference. I am so proud of the players, the organization, and your school for producing such great individuals. So many times we say that there is no "I" in team and I agree, but certain times there are moments when that one "I" can fuel an entire team to greatness. That person may have been the coach, it might have been the first baseman, or may have been the team in general but someone in your organization became that "I" I hope my daughter gets the opportunity to be. Please let your girls know that there is 15 yr-old cheerleader, Kaylee Quijas, in Lee's Summit, MO (Kansas City) who is cheering for your team/school. Although Kaylee hasn't had the chance to attend a day of school this year, due to major sickness, we are glad to say that you and your students gave us something to cheer about here at home! This may seem goofy that I'm writing, but sometimes in life you get thrown a curve ball and it's what you do with it that makes a difference. I was mad for a moment when my child got sick but it opened my eyes, and it has made me appreciate life. This particular story compelled me to write and tell you how great it was for me to read about something so special and inspiring.

Michael Quijas

Lees Summit, MO

InAd TV Goes Public

For Immediate Release
CONTACT: MICHAEL QUIJAS
MICHAEL@INADTV.COM
http://www.inadtv.com/
(877) 4 INAD TV

May 12, 2008 – The InAd TV Network will start construction on the public restrooms in the Power and Light District this week. This installation will mark the first of many public installs slated for construction thru 2009. The decision to move on public facilities was made by President Michael Quijas. “Our core business has been with restaurants and nightclubs, but we’ve decided to include and grasp the offers we receive weekly from office parks, entertainment zones, and municipalities from across the nation. Our product works for anyone who wants to inform or broadcast a message.” says Quijas. “Times are changing so quickly with technology that people are looking for new and innovative ways to keep up. Our systems allow management or property owners to greet each of their customers or tenants with a personalized message each and everyday.”

InAd TV Network is a Kansas City-based digital network channel that can be easily recognized by the signature TV’s that are placed above urinals and in the vanity mirrors of KC’s finest establishments. This unique channel gives advertisers, owners, or management an opportunity to target the successful crowds that frequent these locations. InAd TV is so effective because of the full digital commercial capability combined with sound. For more information on how to get your message across or your business noticed please contact Michael Quijas or Ken Campbell at 877.446.2388 or visit http://www.inadtv.com/.

To you on Mother's Day...

I am writing this blog today for Tammie Lei Quijas. First I want to say Happy Mother's Day. It's hard to describe with words to anyone the road we've traveled this last 10 months. No parent should have to endure the nightmare we've encountered this last year. I often think to myself that God has a plan, I'm just glad that he included you in my plan. Even though we've had obstacles and adversity to get around I feel blessed that I have you to travel with.

I want to commend you on your care and love you have shown all of us for as long as I can remember but more importantly the last year. You have been strong when I wasn't. You put a spin on things for me that made me tougher and able to get through. You administered medicine and shots to our child when she begged you not too, but you did and I thank you. You carry Kaylee's cancer book to every appointment so you can document every single dosage and comment. I thank you for being with me through the nights we cried and held each other in the hospital not knowing if Kaylee was going to make it another day. I thank you knowing and being able to relate to the pain I felt over a certain little girl named Kaylee Marie Quijas. I thank you for taking care of Christian every morning before school because you needed and need him to know his day is just important as everyone else's. I thank you for having something always ready to eat for Christian when he gets off the bus. I thank you for never wanting to leave the hospital. I thank you for standing by me in all my endeavors when everyone else said it wouldn't work. I thank you for taking pride in your home and having it comfortable and clean for all of us when we arrive home. I thank you for the positive, unwavering position you have shown through all of this sickness. I thank you for the love you have demonstrated to both of our children. I thank you for being the parent who is at every practice and game for her kids. I thank you for acting like I never surprise you with my accomplishments. I thank you for reminding me that I can do great things, or in your words "Your Michael Quijas and you can do anything!" I thank you for creating an environment where every kid wants to be at our home. Finally, I want to thank you for doing the yard work. Without you we would have angry neighbors and dirty clothes!

InAd TV Ropes PBR Big Sky Cowboy Bar

For Immediate Release
CONTACT: MICHAEL QUIJAS
MICHAEL@INADTV.COM
http://www.inadtv.com/
(877)4 INAD TV

April 28, 2008 - InAd TV is pleased to announce their newest TV network partner - PBR Big Sky Cowboy Bar! This new addition to the Power and Light District is a perfect fit for a city known for its BBQ, steaks, and American Royal Rodeo. Big Sky held its Grand Opening on April 10, 2008 and their success continues to ensure Kansas City of a premiere Country and Western venue.
InAd TV Network is a Kansas City-based digital network channel that can be easily recognized by the signature TV’s that are placed above urinals and in the restroom mirrors of KC’s finest restaurants and nightclubs. This unique channel gives advertisers an opportunity to capitalize off the successful crowds that frequent their locations by prominently displaying full video commercials with sound to a captive audience.
So cowboy up and head down to the hottest place in town and check out InAd TV.

InAd TV goes with a homestyle recipe

For Immediate Release
CONTACT: MICHAEL QUIJAS
MICHAEL@INADTV.COM
http://www.inadtv.com/
(877) 4 INAD TV

April 7, 2008 – The InAd TV Network will celebrate the Grand Opening of the new Stroud’s Restaurant & Bar with much enthusiasm today like so many others, but the company’s excitement goes beyond the signature cinnamon rolls and home style fried chicken dinners. InAd TV is pleased to announce their newest location in the much acclaimed historic Stroud’s Restaurant.
InAd TV Network is a Kansas City-based digital network channel that can be easily recognized by the signature TV’s that are placed above urinals and in the restroom mirrors of KC’s finest restaurants and nightclubs. This unique channel gives advertisers an opportunity to capitalize off the successful crowds that frequent their locations by prominently displaying full video commercials with sound to a captive audience.
Stroud’s South will open today at 11:00 a.m. at 4200 Shawnee Mission Parkway in Fairway, KS. For more information on how to get your business noticed please contact Michael Quijas or Ken Campbell at 877.446.2388 or visit www.inadtv.com

The InAd TV Network partners with Mcfadden’s

For Immediate Release
CONTACT: MICHAEL QUIJAS
MICHAEL@INADTV.COM
http://www.inadtv.com/
(877) 4 INAD TV

JANUARY 31, 2008 - Mcfadden’s Sports Saloon located at 1330 Grand Blvd. in the Power & Light district is the latest addition to the rapidly growing and ever popular InAd TV Channel Network.
InAd TV is a Kansas City-based digital network channel that can be easily recognized by the signature TV’s that are placed above urinals and in the restroom mirrors of KC’s finest restaurants and nightclubs.
The on-air programming includes in-house promotions like specials, upcoming events, and featured menu items.
In addition to the in-house promotional tool, InAd TV gives advertisers an opportunity to capitalize off the successful crowds that frequent their locations by prominently displaying full video commercials with sound to a captive audience.
For more information on how to get your business noticed please contact Michael Quijas or Ken Campbell at 877.446.2388 or at www.inadtv.com

There'll be sad songs to make you cry...

We're just at 10 1/2 months of cancer. Kaylee is feeling better overall. Although she has certain times where the pain is troubling, there are less and less sleepless nights. Kaylee is also gaining her weight back and her hair is starting grow. I feel like we are adjusting. I remember writing months ago and asking when I would snap out of it. I look back and think that it was alright to be down and confused. At the time I thought I should have been out of the confusion phase and into the taking care of business mode. That was like three or four months into it. I'm still shaken up at times by a song or memory but for the most part I am feeling so much better then those first few months.



I want everyone reading this to know that it is ok to work your way through heartbreak. I was comparing myself to others and thought that my grieving period was lasting longer than those around me. I felt like I was violating time tables. My pain was great and I had to work out of it in my own way. Everyone is different and there's no way of telling how it is going to affect each individual. Was I unusual because I was consumed with the pain and sickness my child was fighting? No. Kaylee is my child, my baby girl and I was devastated that she was diagnosed with cancer.

Sometimes I listen to music and think about our life. The most recent was today when David Cook was singing Mariah Carey's "You'll always be my baby" It made me think of California and the past. I thought back to Kaylee as a little girl. It was a period and time I took for granted. I never connected songs or artists to my child. Well I thought I didn't but I did and I have. I used to just associate Boston, Elton John, and similar groups to my younger years. High school was the association I normally made to music. Yesterday it was Kay and the 90's. I thought again how - if anything ever happened to my loved ones - would it be possible to listen to that music again. I'm not sure. I'm positive that I'm not the first person to question this. I'm sure it happens frequently to people who've had a parent pass away. Those songs.

I don't give it much thought about the "what ifs" but sometimes they do arrive and make me think. Today I must enjoy the music because there's no reason not to. Although if you see me driving and there's a tear in my eye, please be aware that I might not notice you. Elton John, Mariah Carey, or Sarah Mclachlan may have my attention and they may have me somewhere else in time. As Billy Ocean said "There'll be sad songs to make you cry..."

Stability in the mood...

Kaylee can't sleep because she has pain going on with her arm. We think it is those steroids again but who knows. Yesterday morning was extremely difficult because Tammie was going to the store and asked if I would lay in bed with Kay so she wasn't alone. I went in and she had tears rolling down her face. It sucks not being able to do for someone you love. It also sucks having to be emotionally tough towards your kid. I hate that there's pain, I hate that my child is in her room crying when she should be at school having fun. This young girl is fighting things no one should, and dealing with emotional things way beyond her years. Watching as a father, but more importantly her father, is beyond words.

I can watch a program about kids in Africa and get emotional. I will easily shed a tear and get choked up. To have your own kid, one that is suffering look at you for relief is tough. I can only sit with her and rub her back or leg to give comfort. I feel so guilty that I can't grab her and get emotional but I can't because we have to be strong to get through this. Even though I can't fix this, I have to look strong for stability. Stability is an important thing during times like these!

Midwest Airlines - The best care in the air

Midwest Airlines - The best care in the air

A great story...

http://msn.foxsports.com/olympics/story/8091708?MSNHPHCP&GT1=39002

PORTLAND, Ore. (AP) - With two runners on base and a strike against her, Sara Tucholsky of Western Oregon University uncorked her best swing and did something she had never done, in high school or college. Her first home run cleared the center-field fence.
But it appeared to be the shortest of dreams come true when she missed first base, started back to tag it and collapsed with a knee injury.
She crawled back to first but could do no more. The first-base coach said she would be called out if her teammates tried to help her. Or, the umpire said, a pinch runner could be called in, and the homer would count as a single.
Then, members of the Central Washington University softball team stunned spectators by carrying Tucholsky around the bases Saturday so the three-run homer would count - an act that contributed to their own elimination from the playoffs.
Central Washington first baseman Mallory Holtman, the career home run leader in the Great Northwest Athletic Conference, asked the umpire if she and her teammates could help Tucholsky.
The umpire said there was no rule against it.
So Holtman and shortstop Liz Wallace put their arms under Tucholsky's legs, and she put her arms over their shoulders. The three headed around the base paths, stopping to let Tucholsky touch each base with her good leg.
"The only thing I remember is that Mallory asked me which leg was the one that hurt," Tucholsky said. "I told her it was my right leg and she said, 'OK, we're going to drop you down gently and you need to touch it with your left leg,' and I said 'OK, thank you very much."'
"She said, 'You deserve it, you hit it over the fence,' and we all kind of just laughed."
"We started laughing when we touched second base," Holtman said. "I said, 'I wonder what this must look like to other people."'
"We didn't know that she was a senior or that this was her first home run," Wallace said Wednesday. "That makes the story more touching than it was. We just wanted to help her."
Holtman said she and Wallace weren't thinking about the playoff spot, and didn't consider the gesture something others wouldn't do.
As for Tucholsky, the 5-foot-2 right fielder was focused on her pain.
"I really didn't say too much. I was trying to breathe," she told The Associated Press in a telephone interview Wednesday.
"I didn't realize what was going on until I had time to sit down and let the pain relax a little bit," she said. "Then I realized the extent of what I actually did."
"I hope I would do the same for her in the same situation," Tucholsky added.
As the trio reached home plate, Tucholsky said, the entire Western Oregon team was in tears.
Central Washington coach Gary Frederick, a 14-year coaching veteran, called the act of sportsmanship "unbelievable."
For Western Oregon coach Pam Knox, the gesture resolved the dilemma Tucholsky's injury presented.
"She was going to kill me if we sub and take (the home run) away. But at the same time I was concerned for her. I didn't know what to do," Knox said.
Tucholsky's injury is a possible torn ligament that will sideline her for the rest of the season, and she plans to graduate in the spring with a degree in business. Her home run sent Western Oregon to a 4-2 victory, ending Central Washington's chances of winning the conference and advancing to the playoffs.
"In the end, it is not about winning and losing so much," Holtman said. "It was about this girl. She hit it over the fence and was in pain, and she deserved a home run."

2 Hold Outs and a Smile...

I can't tell you how great I felt today. Besides Kaylee having to go to CMH for blood work this morning, I had a great day. I was happy and I was productive. I'm not trying to toot my own horn, but I hardly ever get mad during my day and I feel I treat everyone fair. I laugh a lot and generally have fun doing whatever it is I'm doing. I want to be the kind of person I'd want to be around. I sometimes get around people and I want to leave as soon as I get there. Misery can be contagious if you're not careful.



I gave a presentation at 11:00 am at the Bernstein-Rein Advertising office this morning. There were 9 employees from the media department waiting for me in the conference room. I took the seat at the head of the table and did my thing. I think that the speeches I've given over the last year have really helped in my cool and calm department. I use to get really nervous but I've figured out that you need to stay cool and calm, and never act as if you're out of breathe.



I always pretend like I'm the boss. The old saying was "pretend everyone in the room is naked" but I just pretend that I'm the big guy who calls the shots. Crazy? Well it works for me. I envision everyone wanting to be me! Try it, it works. When I talk about my product or service I imagine that I am sharing financials with stockholders. When someone from the crowd makes eye contact I pretend I'm going to offer this person the employee of the month award. It works.

When I arrived this morning for the meeting I was feeling great. It wasn't because I was going into a meeting with 9 different personalities, or because I was going to try to sell myself for an hour. Misery! It was because I had a moment right before I walked in the door, I thought how lucky I was I to have so many people waiting to talk to me. Silly but who would have thought that you could create a product and demand attention. I was going into a room full of people wanting to hear about this thing they call InAd TV! My dream, my creation, my morning.

Out of the 9 people in the room, I only meshed with 7. The two hold outs were not my personality type. The others were receptive. The last two kept their distance and their smile to themselves. Well I did my thing and ended my presentation and threw in some personal advice. I told everyone to smile during their day and enjoy life. They knew I had a child fighting cancer because someone asked me to tell them a little about myself. So I did. I think that these mothers, fathers, and ad people related when I suggested that they smile. If I can smile having a sick kid, then anyone can. They smiled and said thank you. I finished up the presentation with a funny story on how Bernstein-Rein Advertising and I got introduced. The story was so funny that everyone in the room including my 2 hold outs started laughing. It was only a matter of time before I had 9 out of 9 ad exec's laughing and smiling.

Well I'm out of words, and out of time, but I'm not out of breathe!

Suspenders and ugly ties...

It is noon on Sunday and I'm lounging around the house. Kaylee is sleeping and Christian is playing ball in the neighborhood. Kaylee got out of the house for awhile last night. I stayed in and had a night with Christian. Tammie joined Kaylee to a friends house so they could watch their son while they went out with friends.

I gave a speech Friday to Central Missouri State University students. It was part of a Tech Conference and I got the invite to talk about being an entrepreneur. It was an honor. I was nervous but talking in public has gotten easier for me. I truly think that I could give a speech to a stadium if I was asked. I use to black out and forget what I said. It was like I couldn't hear my words. Today I'm conscious when I speak, if I was only 40 lbs. lighter then I'd be a force to deal with. Look out Matt Lauer.

When I'm around other people like me, entrepreneurs, I size myself up. I say that not to gain sympathy but I'm being real. It's like being an athlete and scouting the room for talent. Whose your competitor and how do they conduct themselves? I'm not saying I want to confirm to a certain mold but I'm different. We all want to have people invest in us as a business but more importantly as a person. I know guys who can get money strictly off their name and reputation. I have to fight for a dime because I've never ran in the same circles. The guys who were at CMSU Tech Conference with me were more established. I say that because several had sold companies in the past for millions and here I am. I have my own sizzle but I didn't have their style. That's not bad by no means. I just didn't seem like them.

I always reflect back to San Diego, CA. These guys that I knew who owned businesses there wore flip flops and shorts. Sure I might not be talking guys running financial accounts and investments but guys who had business that allowed them freedom. Surf shops, retail clothing, and a variety of other things that had them making their own rules. I sometimes leave these functions in my crappy Hyundai or Jeep while the guy next to me departs in his Mercedes and I always sense that maybe just maybe I should sell out to their style because I might arrive quicker. But I like being real. Is my being real impeding me and my advancement. Do I confirm to suspenders and ugly ties? Who knows and I guess we'll find out where I end up soon!

Willie Wilson...

I had lunch with the legendary Kansas City Royal Willie Wilson this afternoon. I am helping Willie with his 3-day charity event happening on May 31st thru June 2nd. The event takes place at the T-Bones Stadium, Community Ballpark. It includes an old timers game or as he calls it, previous All-Stars. There is a dental clinic, and golf tournament as well. This event will benefit The Children's Miracle Network. Our appointment was at 11:30 but Willie called me early in the morning as I laid in bed and moved it to 11:00. I laughed when I hung the phone up because it was Willie calling me, Michael Quijas. If you are reading this and don't know who Willie is, well then you're too young and that's too bad because he was from a period where Royal baseball ruled!

Willie was a Kansas City Royal's baseball player for fifteen plus years. He was and is so wide known to us older people because he was baseball and the Royals. Our team back in the 70's & 80's was awesome. The majority of players stayed for years and we were tough. I can remember having a team that was always in contention for a championship. Willie said it was because of the owner at the time. Mr. Kauffman.

I listened to his stories and came away from the conversation with the understanding that he was part of more than a team but was part of a family. He was a part of a baseball family headed by the owner. Although baseball is a corporation and ran that way, it also has leaders. Leaders can lead with a strict hand or leaders can be part of the growth & equation. Call me crazy but I relate everything to what I'm going through. I lead my family and I'm leading a business. Both can be done with strict guidelines where no one wants to stay long or you can do it with understanding and compassion. Some say I wear my emotions on my sleeve but that is me. I know from experience that things can change so quickly and unexpectedly that I must be ready to adapt. Being a leader is not writing checks or just talking the talk but living it with your players. I might not have hit any home runs or won any championships but I am playing the game. It is called life and I so want to succeed!

Is there a doctor in the house...

I want to share something that happened to me this afternoon. Kaylee was at her scheduled appointment at CMH for her painful spinal tap and testing. I was at an appointment at the Power & Light when I received a phone call from the hospital. Tammie asked me to come to the clinic because the doctors wanted to talk to me. Tam's whispering somewhat scared me. I asked her what the whispering was about and she said that there was a family that was newly diagnosed and the doctors wanted me to come to the hospital and talk with them. The father was having a difficult time dealing with the news and they wanted me to talk with him. Me!



I cut everything short that I had planned and made my way to the hospital. I was approached by the staff and they asked if I would travel to the floor, the admission floor, and talk with the dad. I agreed. I can not explain the common thread or fraternity that you have when you go through this. It is beyond words. The feelings or emotions are text book. You encounter things that are so out of the norm. You feel alone. You want comfort then you get sick of the phone calls. You get messages of support that you want then you don't. You question statistics and then you ignore them. You ask why God did this to you and not your neighbor. You reason in your head that you could sacrifice your Mother, your wife, or any of your relatives if only God would spare your child. The fog is so thick that life as you know it will never be the same.



I walked to the floor and the father was walking out. He had head phones and running clothes on. The doctor introduced us and left. We talked outside in the lobby. He told me he was tired. I explained that I was not there to promote religion, or minimize. I told him that he will take whatever I say as words and no matter what I say he will say to himself that "this guy doesn't realize the love I have for my kid" I agree, I love my child more than you! It is similar to a break up. You will always have people tell you to stick in there because they did it and experienced it. Well the fact is I told my self that no one knows my pain because Kaylee is one of a kind. I love and feel more than anyone!

The truth is that all these feelings are going to be there in the beginning. Darkness is everywhere and one day turns into the next. I literally thought it was Wednesday when it was Friday. I sometimes felt relief because there was no where I had to be but next to my child. I got sick at times because I knew there was another member of my family, Christian, being thrown out of his routine. It is so overwhelming.

I told him that my blog was my savior and my friend. It really was. I had to find something to occupy me. It was this trust worthy blog! It was funny I said it because it was something that he said he was doing as well. I look back and thank how lucky I was to find my coping mechanism, and how fast I did it. Today I can go back through and read about days I felt like dying and can smile for the fact that I documented my story.

I was honored that the doctors, picked me out of the hundreds that attend the clinic to make this vulnerable man feel better. Hell, maybe I didn't do anything or say anything that was worth listening to. But it did something for me and I guess that's all that matters,

Barry for a Break...

Me and Tammie attended the Barry Manilow show last night at the Sprint Center. It was good. We had awesome tickets and an awesome night. Barry put on a good show and he incorporated video clips from the past into the performance. It was all good.

The true enjoyment was watching Tammie enjoy her night. She apparently loves Barry and that is fine. It was worth the price of the ticket to look at Tammie's smile. She was so excited when he came out and called her best friends from childhood each time a certain song would start playing. I love seeing people escape for the night, or the day.

Everyone should have a Barry. Although my release might not include Barry, he worked for Tammie last night. It was so good to watch someone you care about enjoy themselves and forgot their problems for a few hours. Sometimes it's good to raise your arms and your voice - if it's done for the right reason!

Cheers...

On June 6th & 7th there will be an event that I invite everyone to attend. It is Alex's Lemonade Stand which will be at all Hy-Vee stores in Kansas City. The money raised will help with cancer research and will help fund a cure. The organization is led in Kansas City by Mark and Cheryl Mozier. Their son was diagnosed with a tumor years ago and has since recovered. The time and effort they have spent putting Alex's stands in KC has been great. They are the sort of people I strive to be like. They make a difference in life and I think there is a part of all of us who want to do the same. They are doctors and professionals but make time to give back in a huge way.

My hat is off to the Moziers and I raise a glass to their hard work. I encourage everyone to do the same. Please stop by one of the stands and make a donation to a great cause. The funds raised will help find a cure to a disease that can hit families of any race, religion, or social status. Lets help put an end to this suffering, and help the Moziers with their fight against cancer! Cheers.

A great day and a better tomorrow!

Kaylee is doing great. She looks wonderful and feels fantastic. I am loving life! My weekend was the best. We did nothing but it was relaxing. Those cold depressing days were tough this winter. There's something about the sun and spring. I love it.

Our child looks awesome. She has been going to the gym with me to build her strength up. She has been my work out partner. I look at her while we are doing the bike or tread mill and thank God. 2007 was trying and tough but we are going to emerge with newfound knowledge and compassion.

Garth has a hurt leg. I was playing ball with him this weekend and he fell down chasing the ball. Sunday it got worse, and this morning it was swollen big time. I took him to the Vet and they said they believe it is just sprained but they put a cast and splint on him due to his enormous weight. Like I said this winter has been tough on everyone. Me and Garth both gained a few extra pounds due to the cabin fever! We are certain that his recovery will speedy.

If I get one kid up and going then I have the dog go down. It almost seems that Garth keeps trying to out do my child. Kay gets cancer and Garth gets cancer. Kay feels better then Garth breaks his leg to divert attention once again. What are the odds? Have a great day and a better tomorrow!

Leaves and Laps

Last night Tammie and my sister had a birthday dinner for me. There was about 20 people that showed up. It was mainly all my family but a few others stopped by. I was surprised when they told me that 15-20 people would be coming. I was surprised but startled. Startled that I would end up cooking for so many people. My yard has not been taken care of and my grill was not utilized this winter. The last minute booking frightened me.

All that stuff I wasted my time worrying about was insignificant. We had a great time. It wasn't stressful and we all had good food and a great time. I must say that I had one of the best birthdays yesterday. I had so many phone calls, text messages, and emails. I was surprised so many people came to my little dinner and so many people remembered my big day. It was nice.

My yard looks horrible compared to the neighbors. I let the yard work go last year. The summer was chaotic due to Kay's illness. I must confess that I have never been good at yard work. But last summer and fall was terrible. I didn't care about the yard or anything else for that matter. It was all about Kaylee.

Kaylee is doing great. We had an appointment this morning at CMH. Her counts are looking good and Kaylee looks wonderful. We are going to start swimming together. I need to lose weight and Kay needs to gain strength. I'll keep you posted. Have a great day and a wonderful week!

The Moans...

So it's my birthday today. I went for a walk with Garth this morning. It was my reflection time this morning and I enjoyed it. I must say that I have had a great life. Some things I would change but over all it has been a good life. There has been lessons to be learned, there has been joy, and there has been heartbreak. What have I learned?

Today I respect life and I don't take it for granted. I feel strong. I feel like there is purpose for me and purpose for all that has taken place. Everything has had a way of working out for me. I'm not completely out of the woods but I have my sights set on the target. We are going to get healthy and we are going to succeed at what ever we do!

I think about the moans. The pain and the sound of pain has been traumatic. Last night I found out just how much. We had a baseball game and our batter was up to bat and the fastball hit him directly in the face. I did not see the pitch or the painful hit but I saw this child on the floor moaning after the fact. I thought it was Christian. My gut dropped. It wasn't Bubba but this little 12-yr. old was moaning from the pain. He was so hurt. I started crying. I can't tell you how I must of became immune to the sound of pain for survival in my baby girl. Last night it wasn't my child but it spilled out of me because of the fact it wasn't my kid. I have been so geared to deal with whatever to survive. I have tucked the pain away and last night seeing a child on the ground moaning has my heart hurting today. Our batter, Connor, is fine and there was no serious damage but I pray for a speedy recovery and I pray that no kid should ever have to feel pain ever again.

We played baseball

Chapter 4: Involved

Quote of the Day....

I finally figured out the only reason to be alive is to enjoy it.
- Rita Mae Brown

An Eye On the Prize...

Kaylee made it through her appointment today and we are officially in the maintenance phase of our cancer treatments! This is such a huge thing for our family but we had no celebration planned. We weren't sure if she was strong enough for the green light of the maintenance phase so we didn't plan anything. Our last two trips to CMH had us leaving without the official wording from the doctors. Today we received those words we've been waiting for.

I called the bakery and had them make a chocolate cake with the words "Kaylee's kicking some cancer butt!" We are having dinner at Kaylee's favorite restaurant in Lee's Summit. Beauchamp's on the Rail. It is a BBQ and steak house. We secretly delivered the cake so we can surprise Kaylee tonight after dinner. We are blessed today. If you had a bad day today- let it go and celebrate with us. We are one step closer to getting our little girl's health back. :)

Mary Carey...

This is a true story. When I was 22 years-old and Tammie was expecting Kaylee we did not have a car. I would have never told this story a year ago because it was embarrassing to me. We were having a child and lived below hand to mouth. I'm sure everyone was jaw dropped thinking how are they going to do it with no car. We lived with 5 roommates in Waldo and had no place to live. Waldo, no car, and a kid coming.

By the grace of God we found a woman who had a duplex that would rent to us. Tammie worked at Marco Polo's in Waldo and I at Dos Hombres in Brookside. The location of the house was perfect. I walked to work and Tammie had girlfriends that worked with her so they let her carpool. We did this for awhile before I got a call from a woman.

The woman on the phone was Mary Carey. She was the mother of Craig Estopare, a friend I had known since I was 8 years-old. She invited me over to her house because she said she had a present for me. I had not seen Mary in years and she had a present for me? Weird. But I was there when she told me to come. I needed any presents at that time because I was in a cycle of confusion and scare. I was having a kid and I was not ready.

I arrived at Mary's house and we talked. She had heard through one of her boys that I was walking to work and an expecting father. Yes I was. She tossed me some keys. My confusion cycle was hit again. I asked her "what are these?" She said it is the keys to the Ford Tempo sitting outside. She gave me a car. The heat worked, the a/c worked and it had 4 wheels! I might have cried, I don't remember. She looked at me and told me she needed help at one time and this was her way of paying it back.

It's funny how things can work out or not. I believe that sometimes you strap in the seat and let life take you on a ride. Things always seem to work out. Our brown Ford Tempo was the vehicle that we drove Kaylee home from the hospital in. We needed that car and it arrived from an angel named Mary Carey. So investigate the situation sometimes. I know several people that wouldn't give you a dime if you where thirsty because they have a certain mentality that you should do it alone. I have a different mind set. I believe that everyone needs a drink every now and again regardless of where it comes from. Drink up!

Can you help?...

If you read this and can help, please let me know. I want to give a small business immediate exposure in Kansas City's top Restaurants, Nightclubs, and Sports Bars in exchange for a reliable car that I will be donating to help a young man get to work so he can feed his family.

My offer is to put your commercial - that I will produce for free - in front of 250k people per/mo. Our commercials alone would be more than a reliable car, plus combine that with the service/exposure I am offering. We have new P & L District, Legends, Johnson County,and Lee's Summmit markets. I think you'll find that this good deed and city wide coverage will help you professionally and personally.So if you have an extra set of wheels just sitting there, I promise I can get you noticed in a captive way that turns heads!

I spent time with this young 25 year-old yesterday. We had lunch and talked about his dilema. He is from Southern Missouri, a bright young man, and a soon to be father. His car completely died several weeks ago making it impossible to get to work. Eventually he lost his descent paying job because he had no ride to work. The lack of credit and down payment has punched him in the eye. It reminds me when we had Kaylee and no car. I walked to work in Brookside. So I completely agree when people say that everyone will work past any situation that presents itself but this is a hard one. This man wants to work but there is no transit by the home. He wants to work and his track record proves it.

I've decided to help but I don't have an extra $1500 for a car. We have our own troubles here at Fort Quijas. But I am willing to give the only thing I have and that is prime advertising exposure in Kansas City. Please think about it. I know how it gets when life gets you down if certain basic needs aren't met. Having no family that can lend a hand is tough. Having to walk to a job that pays half of what you're used to because you've exhausted all rides to a jobsite that demands you be there at 6:30 am. Bringing less money in the door when your bills stay the same or increase is frustrating. I know. This young man told me he didn't want any hand out but felt he was falling into a cycle. I'm familiar with that cycle. You do the right thing every morning but one small glitch derails everything. Everyone needs some help every once in a while!

Chapter 3: Do You Get It?

I have started trying to write based on stuff other then Kay's health. I find it difficult to do because when I want to vent it usually is when things get to me. When I'm not bothered or down I go on with my day. I smile as always and find no need to release anything. Today I'm writing from the hip. It was easier when it dealt with nothing but Kaylee and obstacles.

I'm getting something from all of this. I've been humbled, I've been slowed, I've been educated. I have surrendered to the fact that no matter how great things go that it is the pain and suffering that has made me appreciate and has become my blessing at personal growth. I do not write to please other people or to broadcast for no purpose, which could be debated if you say why share your life. I do it because it is getting me through. I have been humbled to the core. It's like I see differently now.

So I ask you, "do you get it?" I'm a guy that may have been ready for confrontation months ago, but not today. I want to clean the slate and move forward with bad things in the rear view mirror. If I was selfish or one-sided months ago I apologize. I did not know what I know now. Everything is about family, friends, and the goodness that comes with being a contributor in the community. Your community might be that of just your family. It could be the Rotary Club, or the contribution or volunteer work you do at the church. Those I mentioned may not have any relevance to you. It might be your contribution or investment to attend everyone of your child's baseball practices or maybe you make it a point to wear your child's team sponsored t-shirt at every event he or she participates in. It doesn't matter, but to me it does matter that you have something to be part of.

I see so many people do just the minimal amount to get by. They get so consumed in business matters or their own personal habits and they find little time to step out of the comfort zone and see what else there is. I must tell you that having a little girl, I call my daughter, go through events that deal with issues way beyond her years has made me realize that certain comfort zones can be cracked or broken and you're left in confusion. Although I've had to work my way through it with no blueprint, I feel like I have grown tremendously from these trying days.

Please find your way if you have obstacles or hurdles in your life. Stretch before you run, and time your strides, because if you should ever get in a race that deals with health or life, it is most important that you pace yourself and complete the course you've been given!

Chapter 3: Hope

I hope that my child's health returns quickly. I hope that my children grow up and are healthy individuals that find happiness. I hope that my business can grow nationally. I hope Tammie is satisfied with her life. I hope we age gracefully and enjoy the times to come.

Chapter 2: Small Investments

I asked a friend today if he thought I was doing a good job with my kids. I respect this friend and he knows me well. Honesty seems to come easy when he talks with me. For better or for worse. I asked because it seems sometimes that I get consumed with the day to day operations of the family and forget to step back and watch. Are my children healthy? Do they respect life? Are they happy?

I know that I'm here, with this family, that was created out of love for a reason. I drive through my old neighborhood and think how lucky I am to have made it out. There are many people I grew up with that never made it out of that neighborhood. I'm not condemning them but a majority of those that stayed ended up in prison, dead, or repeating the cycle of dysfunction that they were subject to. That wasn't for me.

I was lucky. As a child I always had family or people around that invested in me. My Aunt Connie DeLaGarza was one of the first. Besides being my Aunt she was also my Godmother. This woman taught me so much in my early years. When my mom worked double shifts on the weekend my Aunt took care of me. She wouldn't allow gossiping or bad mouthing in her home. If my mom came after work on Sunday to get me, Aunt Connie would make sure that I was showered, packed, and ready for bed. This was done because she knew that my mom would be tired after working all weekend. I remember watching the Sunday Night Disney Special waiting for my mother to arrive. Aunt Connie would have Q-Tips in my ears cleaning them out. I often prayed that my mom would arrive sooner then later because Aunt Connie didn't have the softest touch. But her touch had love.

I drifted away from my Aunt as I grew older. But that investment came again. It was from the next door neighbors. Tony Carr was six years older. His mother was Mary Stanhope and his father was Stan Stanhope. Stan was Tony's step dad but you'd never know. He raised Tony from a child. We happened to move in the neighborhood and our neighbors were the best. Tony was like a big brother. Mary & Stan were good examples on all levels. All this right next door. I say that because we had a variety of people in that Kansas City, KS neighborhood that we could have been positioned with. Alcoholics, drug users, pushers, and criminals. We got Tony and his family.

Tony's family worked and they had a good life. They had a camper trailer in the back yard that we often slept in for fun. Tony had motorcycles that he raced. Suzuki RM-125's. I would go to the races on the weekend and watch Tony. To describe one incident or occasion to define their investment would be impossible, it was a constant and I thank them for the positive environment they created around me and for me.

The last memorable investment or influence was Dr. Frank Jones & Beverly Jones. They were the parents of my best friend Nick Jones. Their address was 5600 High Drive in Mission Hills, KS. I became friends with Nick in 1976. Our introduction was made at St. Agnes Catholic School in Roeland Park, KS. We became best friends instantly and have remained best friends ever since.

Nick's family exposed me to a different way of life. They had materialistic things and it made me want. They lived a rich lifestyle because Frank was a Doctor but more importantly he was a money making machine. He had property, restaurants, businesses, and respect. He was the man. I got to vacation with them at their house at the Lake of the Ozarks and Siesta Keys Florida. I also traveled other places with the family. Those experiences helped create something in me that wanted. I wanted to be successful like Doc!

So I encourage you to invest. Invest in a nephew, neighbor, or someone that could use that influence or attention. It is easy to do just what's expected but sometimes when you reach out a little further it can be just enough to steer someone in the right direction.

Chapter 1: The Definition of a Man

What defines a person? Is it your past? Is it your family? Is it your faith? I am confused to be honest. I try to stimulate myself with direction. It's doing things differently from most others. I've always been that way. As a child I used to pick these tulip things out of the ground and try to sell them off as onions. When I was older I use to make bracelets and necklaces out of beads, trying to make a buck or two with my designs. There was always something I could make a dollar off of. Today it's InAd TV.

I must confess that I am a dreamer. I have this thing inside me that wants to carve out this little existence for me and my family. I want to succeed on my own terms. It's my dreams that I work for every day. But at what cost? How simple would it be to get on someone else's payroll? Put the hustle away and get up every morning and have my day planned. Work for a wage. It sounds simple but it's not me.

Tonight is the start of something new for me. I am going to document me. My day, my life, and my future. The Kaylee writings are going to have to stop for now. She needs her room and she needs to get back at being a teenager. Private and personal. She wants to move forward and I don't blame her. I'm not done working my way through this so I am going to continue. I'm going to share my story.

I ask what defines you for a reason. It was always set in my mind that I would define myself by the things I was going to do. Build great things and receive those cheers. There was no doubt that I would make the next light bulb, engine, or computer. Seriously. I believed that I could do anything. I still do but it has occurred to me that there are several things that have to align for greatness. Harmony at home, hard work, and luck just to name a few.

My definitions have changed. Accomplishments have fallen down the list. In all reality, for me to succeed financially at my own thing demands a certain amount of wow. I'm at the mercy if you want my widget. Without the demand of your product is like sailing without wind. You don't! Family is more important than ever and happiness is a must. Accomplishments have moved to the back seat. But being healthy at work or whatever you do is a must. I have to feed the family and if that was to stop then we would have all sorts of problems.

Harmony is a component of a happy man and to me that is what I would define a man by. Happiness. You have to be happy. It might sound crazy but to me a happy man is a satisfied man. To be satisfied is what I would define a man on. Satisfaction breeds health. To be truly satisfied in all aspects of your life would be a dream. So if I get to dream for a moment then my dream would be a life of complete satisfaction. Impossible maybe, potentially boring-probably, but it sounds simple and good to me tonight. Happiness!

Sun block, long underwear, and one more week...

Kaylee did not make it today. Her ANC count (immune system) was too low to get what she needed to advance to her maintenance phase. We have to wait until next week. We will get there, it is out of our control. It is what it is!

Kaylee says her hopes weren't dashed or her spirit wasn't damaged. Kaylee says next week will come soon enough. She is so awesome. I wanted to make sure she wasn't disappointed. I think I might be, but it seems that Kay is feeling good at the moment and she is taking it each day for what it is. We feel good and that's what matters.

We have been checking into the hospital for 9 months. We stay and we leave at times. It has been a tough several months but it is going to get better. They said that we will not have to be back for one month once we get cleared for the maintenance phase. I can't wait. But it is scary as well. I feel as long as we are getting treated weekly that we are doing great. It can't last forever and we need to start getting back to normal. I think this summer will be very good to Kay. She says she wants to lay out in the sun. I told her that sounds great as long as she has on sun block and long underwear! Peace... :)

Fingers crossed...

Kaylee checks into the hospital tomorrow for the news if we made the counts and maintence phase of treatments. Please say a prayer that she gets the clearence. If we do make it then we can get back to normal.

I will be quick and to the point. Please include a prayer to God, Jesus, Jehovah, or any other higher power for our daughter. We are so close to seeing light at the end of the tunnel that we can taste it. Kaylee acts like it is no big deal but it is. We are like kids on Christmas Eve. Keep your fingers crossed.

The story behind 10 Kids Insured...

I officially started my non-profit "10 Kids Insured" on January 16,2008 in the state of Missouri. I have a 501 (c) 3 application pending. I'm not sure about the wording on all that but the attorney does. I am providing health care insurance to children who are lacking coverage. I am providing children an opportunity at health. (I like that phrase, I think I'll use that somewhere in the literature.) I announced the idea on December 21, 2007 as a gift to families to mark the six month anniversary of Kaylee and her battle against cancer. For those that don't know about Kaylee, she is my beautiful fifteen year-old daughter who was diagnosed with leukemia (A.L.L.) on June 21, 2007.

I had the idea for sometime but I wasn't sure how I would raise the money for such an endeavor. I decided to use my business as a tool to generate money for the cause. I own a unique company in Kansas City called InAd TV. InAd TV is a digital signage company in Kansas City that specializes in restroom installations. We place TV's above urinals and in vanity mirrors. My network consists of 100 LCD screens covering the Metro area. My business is to install the system then have sales teams sell the advertising on the screens. We always have excess commercial time and I thought that I could turn that unsold air time into insurance premium money for the kids. Sounds good.

The problem with that is I will have to wait to get it all lined out and then reconsider, toss it around, and find reasons not to do it. I decided to do it differently. I would find the money for the kids. I just needed the kids. Low and behold I received a phone call. There is a group of girls in the city that want to play a sport but they can't because they don't have health insurance. I guess there's a rule requiring coverage. The insurance broker got wind of it and called me. I thought about it for a second and thought, "I can handle that!"

Providing insurance to kids that want to play sports is a perfect fit for us. My daughter, a cheerleader, has been sidelined and bedridden for nine months. She has not been able to participate in any activities this year. She has not stepped into one classroom. Hasn't had a chance to sit in her favorite chair at lunch. These fifteen girls can make it up for Kaylee. They can play for Kay. I am going to stay tight lipped about the organization I'm helping until it is finalized.

I told family and friends about my mission and the connection with Kaylee and everyone threw in money. I raised money this first round from people who want to help me help the kids. I'm amazed by the generosity of people. I get to launch my first kids in honor of Kaylee, Fifteen girls who want to play on a team. Maybe one of these kids will meet her best friend, Maybe it will keep a child busy and she won't get into trouble because she'll be at practice. Maybe one of these girls will find that she has so much talent and maybe just maybe this kid will get a scholarship because her talent is noticed.

The insurance issue is a touchy one for me. I want kids to be able to go to the doctor when they are sick. Waiting in the emergency room at Truman Medical Center in Kansas City, MO is torturous. It takes hours to get in and the treatment is brisk due to the volume of patients. I'm sure being able to see a doctor on your own appointment terms will be a luxury to any of these kids. The hospital is a life saver to many, but an all day event to say the least.

As much support as I've had, I've also had to deal with negativity and mixed emotions. I look at this as an opportunity to help kids live healthy lives, provide peace of mind to parents, and a way for me to give it back to the community. Some people have told me to wait and search for the right kids. What? If your child has no insurance and I can help, and all other options have been exhausted then you're my candidate. I'm convinced that if you don't chase your dream or implement your plan you'll wake up one day with regret. I don't want any regret in my life or my family's life.

A Jewel...

Kaylee was denied the maintenance phase for at least one more week because she didn't make counts. We had anticipated balloons and cake for the occasion but we'll have to hold out for just a little longer. We are going to throw a party for this little girl soon to celebrate. She missed her birthday and has missed out on the entire school year so we feel obligated to have a celebration for her life and this experience soon. Should it be contained to just our little family or should I make it huge and a production? Any suggestions? I might let her answer that question, huh? I want a big party to make up for her lost time, but Kaylee is so simple and sweet that a cake and ice cream would be just fine.

My good friend Charlie DeCoursey met with me and delivered autographed photos of the Sonic guys from the commercials. Might not sound like a huge thing to most but it was a treat to get that special treatment when it is hard to leave the house. I can't wait to give the other photo to Jillian. We enjoy the kindness extended to our family! I always try to spice up the day for Kay. So a personalized message from an unexpected person or people is flattering.

My daughter was smiling and looking so much better last night that I can't tell you how nice it is to see someone, especially your daughter, get back to their old self. Kaylee is such a beautiful person and has such a kind and caring soul. All parents would say the same I'm sure but I have a jewel here and I'm proud to say it!

The Next Move...

Do you believe that things will go right if you do the right things? I am trying to do right and I treat everyone fair. I am in need of funding for InAd TV and I pray that it will arrive sooner than later. We have so many establishments that I am in desperate need of a larger staff. I need operating capital and I feel the pressure of not having the money in place. When I compare that to other things it seems unimportant but it is what keeps a roof over our heads. Fighting something like sickness makes you realize how everything is connected. I have to be sharp and on my feet but I can't completely focus. I am lacking certain concentration. My business requires 100% of my attention but I don't have it.

We are still low on blood and we are feeling it. Please excuse me, Kaylee is low but we all feel it. Kaylee had 1/2 the hemogloben of what the normal person should. It is normal to have 12-14 count (not sure the name of the count) but Kay had 6. We are waiting til tomorrow to see what we should do. We got blood on Wednesday night but it didn't get Kaylee back to normal. We need more, I say that because she is dizzy, pale, and has headaches. Low on blood? Could you fully concentrate on work if you knew your child was lacking oxygen because she was extremely low on blood?

I mentioned doing right and funding in the same sentence. I feel guilty mentioning the two together. But if things go right at work it usually means things go better at home. I leave work at work but it has a way of following me because I started it from home. I feel blessed that I can dictate my schedule and I can be around as often as I want but it is a burden running a company when you have a sick family member. I have to make decisions daily that affect those around me and sometimes I'm not sure if I'm in the best state of mind to make those decisions. I need to be a leader but sometimes I wish I could be a follower. I think sometimes I would much rather focus on my family and let the other guys figure out the next move. It is great to dream.

Happy St. Patrick's Day! We are relaxing tonight. No big plans! I am watching TV and wondering how they can find so many goofy people to participate on these game shows. Well I guess I was one of them at one time.

Our Feature Presentation...

Kaylee is doing better. We had lunch out for the first time in a while. She had her friend spend the night last night and I was thankful for that. Our daughter is about to start living again. She is going to start pulling back on the aggressive treatments. We are a week away from our maintenance phase. This means that the doctors are about to stop the bombing of Kay's body and we are going to get back to the old active Kaylee.

I'm so excited to have her able to go out and not worry about the immune system, the sickness from the high doses of chemo, and the weekly admissions. I have to admit that I'm scared to pull back from the treatments. It is common among parents I'm told to worry about things like that. Tammie tells me not to worry because Kay has responded so well to the treatments. She is a fighter and we'll be just fine.

Tonight I'm so bored. I have places to go but I don't feel like drinking. It's cold and boring. I feel like I'm stuck. Socially I'm not 100%! I should be out hustling my business but I'm not all the way back from the traumatizing experience we've endured the last 9 months. I find my self a little less confident at times. I get nervous about my business. I fear sickness and I fear catastrophe. I size myself up some times and can't figure out why I'm not conquering the world when it seems I've been to the edge and I have nothing to lose. I should excel because a simple no is the least of my worries.

I picture a movie and I visualize a father who can get anything done because he has too. He has nothing to lose. He has a child at home fighting sickness. This fictional character has confidence and can do anything it takes to make money. Sales, cold calls, partnerships. Anything. When you go through something like fighting illness with your child, it's like you couldn't face anything worse.

Well I do the best I can. I think I could do better but I have issues. I'm lucky to have a great support system. But when this happens you initially think that your old fears are all gone because you have been awakened. But on the other hand you get consumed that everything has to go perfect in your business because that is what keeps the family floating. So work becomes extremely important and filled with pressure because you want to make sure everyone is as comfortable as possible. Plus Tammie stopped working and that income seized. What's a person to do. Where is this fictional man I created in my head?

The Combination...

We were so excited for this morning. It was our first baseball tourney for the season but it was called off due to the weather. I was ready to get the season going. Eighty degrees on Thursday and snow on Saturday. Who would have thought?

I never know what to expect. I've come to terms that so many things are out of my control. Snow? Cancer? Blood? It is what it is, you have to continue and plan for the unexpected. At least we have each other to count on for support. Having someone in your corner is powerful. I hate to think that there are people out there doing life alone. Family, friends, and community are so important.

I received a hair cut yesterday from a friend who has been cutting my hair for years. As a matter of fact he gave Christian his first hair cut. I've been friends with him for many years. He disappeared last September. Gone. Well it turns out that he was on parole for a Federal crime he committed years ago and had a relapse and ended back up in prison. Wow! I couldn't believe it. We talked about free time. He said free time to him usually equated to trouble. If he didn't keep busy he had a tendency to spend time with people that usually would drink and do drugs.

He would go out and drink at bars because him and his girlfriend were having trouble. He would find what he thought were friends at bars & nightclubs. These people would often offer him things that were illegal and he would do it. He didn't blame anyone but himself. He did say that having nothing to occupy him usually meant that trouble would follow. We talked about how scary it would be to live in an area ravaged by drugs and crime. We both agreed that it is easy to follow the lead of others sometimes. Most of the time if you don't watch it you can be trailing the wrong person or people. Sometimes you have to kick and scratch to make a change in your life. It doesn't make sense, to think that you would complicate life even more by introducing bad habits and dark avenue's into your life. Life is hard enough.

I encourage everyone to find passion. It is healthy to have passion and an outlet. An outlet to take your mind off things. I promote doing things that work your mind, body, or both. I find writing easy to do. I love to write. It can be done with paper and a pen. I can sit down and escape for a moment. It is more convenient then finding fossils in rocks. It is more accessible then tracking the Monarch Butterfly. Writing is my release. I find that I have a healthy past time and one that doesn't require much.

Have a good day! I am going to drive to the gym now and try to get into the habit of exercising so I feel better physically. The writing is mental and the weights are physical. Not a bad combo if I can keep it up.

Things You Might Not Know...

Click the play icon:

I will share 5 things you might not know about me:


1.) I was on The Price is Right



2.) I like Spam :)



3.) I feel bad for homeless and over weight people



4.) I would like to make a movie someday



5.) I won a Halloween costume contest dressed as a girl when I was little




Here's some other things you might not know:





I've had the same best friend since 1976.


I won $12,000 off three $1.00 coins in Las Vegas, thirty minutes after getting married.


I delivered pizza part-time for Domino's to make a Christmas for my family in San Diego.


I was embarrassed delivering pizza's to neighbors and friends.


I worked in Cabo San Lucas


I worked in Honolulu


I found 22 $100.00 bills in a napkin


I took a pee as Demi Moore did her hair in the mirror next to me in The Beverly Hills Hotel (there was a divider between us)

I found a dead man hanging in a tree when I was 12 y.o.

My favorite car is the Bentley Continental GTC

My dog's name when I was a kid was Pumpkin

I like giving gifts more then receiving gifts

Joe Theisman gave me an autograph instead of a tip (I tossed it out the window)

I love Jack in the Box tacos

San Diego is the most awesome city to live in besides home

I did not know how email worked just 4 years ago

If I could choose a profession it would be Movie Director

Bigger Things To Get Done...

Kaylee was in the hospital for almost 6 hours getting blood. I wake up sometimes and have to read my writings from the previous night because it is late sometimes and I have to make sure it is not all late night thoughts. They say you write differently depending on the time. They say you should reread the next day before you push send or publish.

I talked about the Big 12 Tourney and my tickets that were offered to me. I wrote I was going to decline the tickets because I had bigger things to get done. Well I strarted my day earlier to get things done that needed to get done. I made a decision that I should invest time with Christian today. There would be nothing bigger then that for me today. I was going to spend much needed time with just the two of us. So I headed my way to Christian's school and picked him up. I was at the Power & Light bright and early this morning so I left my car in the the Rock Star parking space that I secured early, got a ride to Lee's Summit, picked up the tickets, picked up Christian and headed down to the Sprint Center. (Oh, I had to run home and change my jeans because I wore those same jeans today that I wrote the Style blog about. The straight leg pants they said I should never wear again. They ripped in the butt! I guess it was time for those to go. One way or another!)

Our day was nice and I appreciate Christian. He is so innocent. He grabbs my hand when we walk across the street. We passed a sausage/hotdog vendor with a hot grill and Christian grabbed my hand even harder. He was scared of the flames. He had me and he had my hand. It was special. I like that he is still a child. He uses me/us as a security blanket. I never want to lose that. I want a good relationship with everyone especially my children. Good night!

Driving for the Family...

The hardest thing about watching your child fight sickness, especially something called cancer, is witnessing your child lose their innocence. I can’t explain the whole situation because I don’t completely understand it my self. This little blessing you create is your angel. If you have no children it might be hard to understand, but if you’re lucky enough to have the experience of raising children then you know what I mean.

My child wanted to cuddle and snuggle nine months ago. Sickness hit then things changed. There are so many other things going on besides being daddy’s little girl now. That is the worst for me. I want to love but it’s an inconvenience for her at times. Sickness rules the house and everything else is secondary.

Kaylee left for the emergency room around 9:30 tonight for blood. She is running low and needs it badly so we decided to take her tonight instead of waiting until tomorrow. We are so close to the final phase, we want to be safe and we want Kaylee to feel as healthy as possible. I stayed home with Christian.

I went in to check on the little guy and he was sleeping. This is unusual for him. We normally have to tell him to go to sleep. He was sleeping when I went in around 10:30. I suspect he wanted to end the day because of Kaylee and the fact his big sister had to pack up and go to the hospital so late. As I went to turn the TV off I looked at the top of his head. The only thing exposed beneath the covers. I felt for him. He is part of a family that has to make concessions for the sickness. I love him for taking it and never complaining.

I took Christian to baseball tonight. I let the dog go as well. As I watched him I could not help but think how incredibly talented he is. He is so good at baseball. So good that he gets noticed by everyone that passes by any field he is on. His talent is not being inflated by a proud father but being relayed from a spectator who happens to be his proud father.

Being good at something doesn’t guarantee you’ll be noticed. Christian is noticed and I hope he continues to get the notoriety from his hard work & talent. I think being good at something is important. I was okay at wrestling. But sports never fully engaged me. They still don’t. I had a ticket for tomorrow's basketball tournament but I decided I have more important things to get done.

I like what I do for a living. Today I was finishing up where my construction guy fell short and I felt something. I was watching people working in the Power & Light District this morning and I couldn’t help but feel the feeling of working for someone else. I don’t have much experience working for others but I do have certain memories. My memories usually involve a pit in my stomach. I hated being somewhere because someone told me to be there. Weird but true. I never really found that place with anyone else’s business. I would arrive do what was expected but I never truly fit in. That’s okay. I respect everyone that can earn a living whether it be for their selves or for the other guy.

I had to leave at 6:00am this morning to get to the jobsite. As I was driving I felt a great feeling. It wasn’t because I was going to my awesome job, but for all the people driving to theirs. I couldn’t help but think that the majority of those driving were doing so to feed their families. They were up early to make things happen for those loved ones probably still at home sleeping. Maybe it was me that I was watching in those other cars!

Sonic...

Today was a great day. I came into contact with an old friend from grade school who films the Sonic commercials for Barkley Evergreen. His name is Charlie and we went to St. Agnes together. He was a few years older than me but I remember him well.

I was told by my wife that a little girl who frequents Children's Mercy with us, Jillian Sharp, likes Sonic Drive-In. Jillian is a child that is fighting health issues as well. We are in clinic and occasionally admitted in the hospital on the same days. Her parents both went to the same high school as Tammie and I.

It just happens that Charlie is flying out to Phoenix to shoot a commercial with the Sonic crew this week. Charlie offered to get us signed pictures of the actors! We are excited to be part of the Sonic family even for a day! I'm so amazed at the kindness of people.

It is so nice to witness generosity from others. Most people might not remember that they over heard someone saying they like Sonic, but since this sickness thing I try to remember every little detail about the kids and what they like. Maybe it's because I know their dislikes, hospital visits, needles, and the inconvenience of being in the hospital when they should be at school playing.

I hope that Kaylee and Jillian enjoy the honor of someone taking the time to do something special for them. I know that they have so much on their plates that has to do with serious stuff, maybe this will give them a break for a moment. Thank you Charlie D.

Doing Good...

Kaylee is doing good. She looks good but it looks like we will have to make a trip to CMH tomorrow/today to get blood. She is very pale and dizzy. We think she is running low so we are going in to get a much needed infusion. Who would have ever thought we would have to worry about our baby girl's blood? Life, our life.

I try to do good everyday. My plate is full but I make it a point to do good for anyone I can. Is that weird? I mean I have a list of children from clinic or our CMH 4-H that I try to make good things happen for. Kaylee is my priority but I want all those children to have something special. They deserve it. I think if you're a child and you fight childhood sickness you should get compensated. If you battle and lose part of your childhood you should be rewarded. A crazy idea but my idea!

I try to post as many Public Service Announcements for as many causes as I can. I usually pay for the production out of my pocket. What's next? Alex's Lemonade Stand! I'll fill you in on it as I get more info, but it is a great cause that generates money for all sorts of research that helps children like mine. www.alexslemonade.org/KClemonade.php

Well it is late and I'm tired. I hope you do good at whatever it is you do. If you can make a difference in someones life then try to. Remember if you get pale and dizzy you might need to see a doctor so you can feel good!

Style...

I was thinking about style. I'm not sure if I have much if any. I'm not saying that to be harsh on myself but I lost my need to be the best dressed and the one with the fastest car. I say I wouldn't mind having those qualities or material possessions but they are not priorities. They were at one time but not today.

It was so important to have the best looking this or that but I lost it. Where did it go? I used to have fancy labels on my clothes and it was common to have a Mercedes or Cadillac. Today I have 2 suites and one Hyundai. Oh I have a Jeep that is over 10 years-old as well. Why am I telling you this? I have to go to an Ad Agency where an old classmate works. I just found out about it recently and I must be honest, I was wondering how I look 20 yrs. later. I know I've gained weight, turned gray, and struggle each day. Am I supposed to be slimmer, colored, and wealthy?

This is irrelevant with what I have going on. Some might read this and say it doesn't matter, those things are unimportant. I agree but we all want to feel good. I've made a decision to sacrifice today for tomorrow. What does that mean? I am doing without today so I can have a better tomorrow. I invest everything in InAd TV. I pass on the fancy clothes because I can buy a TV and computer to further my business. I can't afford a nice car, one that would stroke my ego as I arrive to the meetings because I can't afford any extra financial debt.

The other day I wore a pair of straight leg jeans. Someone told me I should never wear those things ever again. They weren't stone washed, but they were straight legged! I gave a buddy a ride home a few days ago and he said that I should be driving an SUV instead of my compact Hyundai. I wore a baseball cap with my oxford the other day because my hair is too long and I haven't gotten a hair cut. I just don't care, but I do.

So I am scheduled to go visit an old classmate at a successful Ad Agency. What do I have going for me? I own a company that has a presence in every part of KC. Ninety percent of all people in KC who are under the age of 30 knows or have seen InAd TV. I work or know most everyone at every major media outlet in KC. I'm viewed as a business owner instead of someone that works at the ABC Co. I've started something unique and different. I often have people want me to tell them my story. Do people usually want other people's story? Is that the norm or is my story worth asking for?

I often tell myself that I'm an authority of digital signage. I have one of the biggest digital networks in KC and I specialize in a certain field, so I am important. I might not be curing a disease but I am on the fore front of whats to come in my chosen profession. I think that I have ideas and capabilities to add to the growth of this movement. I feel like an inventor. I'm often called an entrepreneur. So that's my story and I'm sticking to it even if I don't have style!

Tammy Cochran...

There was a murdered woman found in Olathe, KS on 3-05-08. Her name was Tammy Cochran and she was a friend. I hadn't seen her in years but we went to school together. I would see her occasionally from year to year but that was the extent. I was called yesterday and told the tragic news.



The picture they ran of her at first made me feel good for her family. Tonight I saw Fox 4 News running her mugshots from the last few years. It broke my heart. If getting murdered and set a fire wasn't enough for any family, now they have to deal with the stories being aired. I can see the police doing their investigating and looking at all angles but for the news to write and report of her troubles is troubling.




I didn't know her son, I never had dinner with her or her family but I wish she could have had a little dignity to her name and legacy after a sudden and senseless death. I've had friends call and say she was sick with this or that but she is gone and who cares. I'm the first to say if you play with fire you'll get burned but she's gone. Let her have peace. Let her family have peace.


We all have problems of some sort. We all know someone who has been affected by bad decisions. Drug addiction, crime, and dysfunction is around everyone. You might live a righteous life but that doesn't mean you don't have a cousin battling demons. Your neighbor could be fighting to save his child from addiction. That co-worker could be living through hell even though he or she smiles as they drink that coffee. Who are we to pass judgement.

I agree that we all look at someone and say they should get their shit together. But I've learned that I'm not going to try to be that moral monitor because I do not know what people are going through or what path they've walked. It is so easy for people to say that you get what you deserve. I disagree. I think that all of us come to a cross road at some point in our life. Most of us won't go a certain path but I know a lot of good people who did go the wrong way but came back. It was direction that most look back at and say why? But they had the opportunity to come back. This poor person was a mother, daughter, and sister. She may have fought her way back, but we'll never know.

I can't restore any thing for any one, I'm trying to restore health at the moment. I wanted to write something good about a person that I knew a long time ago who I knew as a good person. So Tami Cochran rest in peace and I'm sorry you didn't have the opportunity to fight back. You're at home now and I'll tell people good things about you!

Her story can be viewed by clicking on this link, http://blogs.kansascity.com/crime_scene/2008/03/olathe-pd-inves.html