Kansas City, Kansas

I sometimes think Kaylees a very lucky young lady. Its not an easy thing to say, but we could be in a much worse situation. We could be in a village in Africa, off 1 HWY in Baja California, or in a housing project somewhere.

We've got our boxing gloves on, we're in Lee's Summit, MO, and we have the best support system around. My prayers go out to those who are suffering around the world. Right now we are concentrating on comfort. Kaylee is comfortable.

Would I turn this disease down in a minute? Yes. Would I wish this disease on anyone? No.

But I'm having issues. I feel terrible for our family. Do I want to be sensitive and caring ? Yes. But I wish it wasn't us dealing with all this shit.

So many people say, "So she's doing pretty good?" Well yeah, if you mean is she still breathing and getting up everyday. But she feels so sick so many days. Today she felt great. So we are blessed. Tomorrow when she arrives at Childrens Mercy Hospital and leaves after treatment and blood transfusions I'll let you know exactly how she feels. But today she feels great!

I've included a picture of my childhood home in KCKS. It was located off Southwest Blvd. in the Rosedale section of KCK. I thank God that Kaylee isn't sick in my old room on 39th Ave..

We had good years in that old house but if I was sick it wouldn't be the place I'd want to be, and if I hurt any feelings I'm sorry. My Mother did the best for us she could, although I made a few mistakes in that neighborhood, I think we've done o.k.. That area in KCK makes you tough, and street smart but right now its health & comfort I want to focus on.

As a place to get educated in Street Smarts there wasn't a better place. But to nurse a sick kid it wouldn't be my top pick. We did what we had to, but I thank God Kaylee is in a comfortable place with room to stretch out. They say "all interesting people have a past" and I won't deny that, but I'd much rather work on the interesting part in the suburbs.

I believe that you should never forget where you came from, but I want my kids to have opportunities that I might not of had. We lived in a place where most parents had to think it over, then think it over again before they'd let little Billy come over for the weekend. The surprising thing is that they always let 'em come over. I think that says something about my Mother.

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H2O

The word on the street is if you're stranded, ship wrecked, or buried alive - you'll last longer with fluids then with a rump roast. I find comfort in food so that rule might not apply to me, but who knows.

Well, I bring up hydration because we've been in the hospital since 7 am this morning pumping Kaylee with fluids. The fluids are a critical part of the chemo she is taking tonight. She will be in the hospital for 24 hours so that she is flowing with IV Fluids so the chemo doesn't hurt her. I guess this stuff is pretty dangerous if you don't have enough fluids to flush this poison through your system.

We were supposed to be checked in yesterday but there wasn't any room for my child. Busy day, but they almost or should I say they suggested that we have Home Medic Services deliver IV Fluids to the house and we would administer the fluids and take care of everything at home. I declined.

There is a certain point in this thing that you want the experts doing their part, then there's the other side where you want to go on as normal as possible. But when it comes to administering fluids and monitoring certain levels please check us in.

Tammie is polite and would listen to our options but I'm not to certain when it comes down to my M.D. skills. High School was great but my Junior College credits came up short. So we waited until today for our chemo, and Kay should be released tomorrow. My little piece of advice, if you have a gas leak call the Gas Company, if you have Leukemia and need chemo - call a Doctor!

Room 8

We're back in the hospital. Room 8. A scheduled admission but delayed because of her 0% immune system. Her check in date was last Wed. August 22, 2007. Kaylee has to have a certain count as far as blood,ANC, and some of this & some of that. We didn't make it last week but we did today. The process is draining. I can't explain it. Emotionally waiting all day for your room, eating that food, and having to listen to kids of all ages run around the clinic before they take you to your room on the 4th floor, Henson Tower.

Kaylee is a warrior. She hardly ever complains. It could drive you nuts like it does me, but it doesn't for Tammie or Kaylee. They take their medicine and go. It makes you compare yourself to others when things like this happen.

I learn so much from Kaylee daily. She does what she has to, and doesn't complain. Her outlook never sways. Her knowledge and authority about the human spirit is second to none. When she looks at a child or teenager during her stays or visits at Children's Mercy she can tell what would make that person better. I'm not talking medically, but spiritually. She can read attitudes by looking at their face, their stance, and their demeanor. She is someone we could all learn from!

My Life, My Daughter

My favorite picture is this old pic of me, Tammie, and Ace our dog at the time. It was our first place together in Brookside. We had nothing but each other and a little girl on the way. Its framed and next to my side of the bed. We've taken better pictures but its the innocence captured that takes me back to a time that was special.

The main focus was this new child. But then you get into your routine, what was once new becomes the same as yesterday and you forget. I look at this picture and remember the fright,scare, and joy. Today it is back to those things. We're not sure what one day has in store to the next. But what we do know is that each day is a blessing and awkwardly enough it was something ugly like Leukemia to put things back into prospective.

Will all this make me and my family better, I'm not sure. But what we were given was an incident, a wake up call. Petty things don't really matter. What matters is that we try to do better, live better, and teach our children that there are more important things then fancy cars and big houses. What is really important is the way you live your life and the postive impact you have on others.

I Hope You Dance...

I think when your child hits their teenage years, especially 14-15, they take friends over family. I did. I thought those friendships would never end. Some did and some didn't. But the ones that have endured and made it are priceless. To put a price on something that ages and grows is impossible.

Kaylee has had to put her friendships on hold in a sense. She can't go and do as the others because she is sick. My priority is Kaylees health, but I'm also concerned/worried about her social well being. That important part of growth, friendships. I wonder some times how hard it must be to sit back and miss that party,movie, or pizza. How upside down she must feel.

One day she is traveling to Florida with her best friend and the next day she is fighting for her life. Priorities are first but my heart goes out to her. Sunday it was Kaylee & me at the mall. Probably not her top pick to be there with but one thing she'll always have is her family.

Kaylee is blessed with great friends. But as her Father it hurts to see her confined to a bedroom. Hopefully her strength builds and her trips out can be with someone she picks to be with. Although I think I'm a fun guy, I probably won't make the cut if it was between me and those friends of hers. But for now its me! Enjoy Kaylees video.

Courage

August 24, 2007 - My baby girl was featured in the Lee's Summit Journal today. She is such an inspiration. When the phone call came and the photographer showed up we were concerned that she wasn't ready to expose herself and her story to all of her friends and neighbors. But Kaylee said that she is comfortable with herself and wants to let others know that its not about the outside but whats inside that matters. Wow!

So this morning when I saw her little face on the cover of the newspaper I cried with happiness. Her picture, her courage speaks- it shouts volumes! I as a parent am so proud of this person, I'm so proud she's mine. She is going to give other young kids the courage, confidence, and hope that is so important when you're fighting such a big battle!

I proudly showed my article to everyone. I want everyone to know that this young girl is mine. Instead of hiding -like I would have at 15 yrs. old- she said here I am and I'm fighting. To think how we all just want to fit in, how we try to dress the same, talk the same, walk the same, and then you're smacked with an illness that makes you stand out, breaks your heart. Or does it?

Today I thought to my self that this little angel is blessed. She doesn't care what people think, and she knows that as easy as it happened to her it could happen to any of us. Courage!

http://www.lsjournal.com/articles/2007/08/24/news/01strength.txt

The Hardest Game Ever Pitched...

My son Christian Quijas is an awesome baseball pitcher. Sure most parents would claim the same but he is really good. He won the prestigious Blue Darter Award in 2005. An achievement bestowed on talented athletes in the Lee's Summit area.

His biggest test came on June 22,2007 at the State Baseball Tournament in Columbia, Mo.. This was just one day after finding out that his sister Kaylee had been diagnosed with Leukemia. This game was important and a win was needed. So the coaches decided to play Christian. He put his game face on, and approached the mound like he did every week. His pitches were high and wide. He had too much on his plate.

He did his best to concentrate and give his all but from the very first pitch you could tell he was somewhere else. I'm sure he was mentally sitting next to his sister in that hospital room. He never got it together. I'd like to write that he pitched his heart out like never before and got his win. But this day was just too tough. We lost by one run and it pretty much sealed our fate at the tournament.

I believe his coach pulled him after the 2nd inning. This was too much for any one especially an 11 year old little brother worried about his big sister.

www.randomthankyou.com

I'm going to start a project with Kaylee. We are going to start a website called http://www.randomthankyou.com/ . We are going to invite family,friends, and strangers to thank someone for doing something nice. We will encourage the thank you at the time of the good deed but our website will praise kind acts of all sorts.


The idea came to me as I watch a security guard every week at Children's Mercy Hospital help people. This guy goes way beyond his duties and always has a smile and a helping hand. I want to be like that guy. No kidding. This guy is always there with a kind word, an extended hand, and a professional demeanor. I've been down in spirit several times when I'm at the hospital but I get re-energized after watching this man in uniform.


I want Kaylees involvement because it is magical when you get excited about a new endeavor. From my past experience, it is so therapeutic to create a project that brings feedback and goodwill in the community. The anticipation to check your mail daily to find that one story that touches you is priceless. My goal is to get Kaylee occupied in something that will ease some of her pain and let her be the CEO of our new online Thank You business!

Thank You

Today has been 2 months since this Leukemia stuff started. It was June 21, 2007 when we got the news. I want to apologize and say thank you to everyone that has been helping us through these tough times. I take full responsibility for not sending out Thank You Cards. I have been so caught up with the hospital admissions and appointments that I couldn't find the time. I think it has been more than that but my family thanks you. I am in denial or sick in my own way. Please forgive me if it was a card that some were expecting sooner, I know everyone I've told my apology has said it really is insignificant to worry about that but I'm sorry.

My wife has been tending to Kaylee like a Super Hero Mom, it was me that took on the task of sending those thank you cards. Unfortunately they've been sitting there on my desk. If we have one of your pans from a kind dinner or a utensil I promise we'll give it back! I just want to say thank you again and please forgive me.

The Mantle

I had dinner with my son last night. We went to La Fuente Mexican Restaurant just a few blocks away. As we walk in I spot a flier with Kaylees picture on it. It is an information flier explaining the benefit at Jerry's Bait Shop.

The place is packed with a softball team, couples, families, and regular patrons. It was very busy. I watched as some people looked at Kaylees picture as they left, but most didn't. No big deal but very strange. Strange as a parent to think that I would ever have to post a picture of my little angel in a store front location. But fate or circumstances has a strange way of sneaking up on you.

When a local teenager was abducted on Saturday, June 2, 2007 I remember watching a local TV station interviewing her parents. They had in their hand a flier with their baby girl on it. Although I couldn't imagine their pain I was connected as a parent. I remember thinking how ugly life was for them at that moment. How that fear was evident as they sat with some reporter pleading with anyone for info. I took a moment that day to consider if that was to ever happen to us. It was the flier that made me think.

How surreal that must be to post a picture of your child in a public place. Instead of the mantle, you're asking some stranger to place your childs picture in his or her store. It made me hurt as if it were my child, nephew or niece. The flier was what shook me. How painful that must have been for her parents to sit with picture in hand, your most precious asset, and beg the public for any and all help in finding your child. Our situation is completely different but similiar when it comes to the heartbreak! Their Kelsey was missing. My Kaylees health is missing.

Two months later, family members are posting info in public places asking for support for Kaylee. The picture is what breaks my heart. These pictures are mine. In a normal day you might be lucky if I was to share those with you. They're my pictures, my child, my life.

Reference...

I've tried to think about my personal experience with sickness. I've never had one. My Aunt/Godmother passed away in 2004 but I was in LA and didn't spend much time with her. My mom had cancer in the 1960's before I was born.

Since this has started I've went back in time and have tried to think of someone. I had a girlfriend in high school who lost her mother to sickness. It was before I knew her, but I can't recall ever asking about her experience. It was probably because I was scared to. But I feel for everyone that has dealt with the sickness or the death of someone they love. I guess when you battle something it really puts you in a class of your own. Some people are strong, some crumble, but what do you learn?

I think that this has made me look at things and people differently. I truly respect people more. I don't want to get upset over petty issues because everything is just that-petty! I don't want to offend or get into a confrontation with anyone because I don't know their story. Do they have a sick child at home? A mother sick in bed? I believe this experience has made me a better man.

I see things differently now. You never know what someone is battling or what fight they've already battled.

Welcome Back...

August 17, 2007 - We had to check into Children's Mercy tonight. My daughter is sick with a fever. Not such a big deal if you have an immune system, but when you have a 0% immune its not good. We have one hour from the time we discover her fever @101.5 to check into the hospital. It is our first time to check-in with a fever. Our admissions have been for pain, not fever.

I hate the pain but I'm scared of the fever. There are so many factors with a fever. Virus, infection, or any of those other things that make you sick. All this is so new. I've never really considered immune systems.

I'm not the type to go share an ice cream cone with a stranger but I never had to monitor the company I was with. Today I want to know if anyone is sick, did anyone have something recently that might be transferable to my kid, did this person or that person wash their hands.

A simple ear infection, flu, or hang nail could be very dangerous. All we can do is pray and hope she gets better today. Hopefully they will let us go home in 48-72 hours if the fever goes down and the blood work turns out ok.

Knock! Knock! Knock!

August 16, 2007 - Sometime around seven o'clock tonight there was a knock at the door. I wasn't home, but Tammie said she opened the door and there were 8-10 people standing in front of the house. She said some of the people were wearing uniforms. It took her a minute and then she recognized the outfit. It was the employees and managers from our McDonalds down the street. She said they handed her a Happy Meal box that contained $150.00 in cash and change. They then handed her a flyer that had Kaylees picture and her story on it. The card was decorative and time consuming. It was an employee card that they had taken around and collected money with.

The most touching part was that some of these young kids were in their street clothes which indicated that they had donated their precious time when it could have been spent elsewhere. They all donated their time and battled 100 degree weather for a little girl most didn't even know. How special is that? I Thank you and Kaylee thanks you.

Spent...

I'm so tired, exhausted, battered, drained, fed up, sickened, sad, bored, pissy, and grateful. It has finally caught up to me. I'm so done with this sickness. But you can't pack up this thing called Leukemia and send it off. You have to fight and fight and fight.

I realized this as we headed to the hospital and got within an exit of it. I got pyhsically sick to my stomache. I'm going to have to see a doctor soon or I won't be any good to anyone. How unfair that I should have the gull to say I'm not feeling good. I'm so sorry. I'm spent...

Kindness

August 14, 2007 - On August 27, 2007 family and friends are having a benefit to help with the rising expenses associated with the cancer. The benefit will be held at Jerry's Bait Shop in Lee's Summit, MO. from 6pm-close. There are several bands that have donated their time and talent. The community and our friends have been donating goods and services for the auction and raffle. So many people have offered so many things that it makes you slow down and really appreciate everyone and everything.

I've had time to think about everything and take in all the kindness that everyone is showing at these difficult times. The food from the neighbors and community, the offers from random strangers, and the support of our family. It really makes you stop and thank God for everything.

I would do anything not to be the one accepting these gifts, but here we are and it is so nice to know people care. Kaylee is trying to get out of bed and move around because she desperately wants to get better and you can see it in her actions. She will get stronger each day and start to gain her 30 lbs. back. But more importantly we will be able to relate to the population that will go through this on a different day.

Cupcakes

August 13, 2007 - 10:15 pm Kaylee is feeling better and looking better too. She is starting to gain weight and moving around the house. Tonight she made cupcakes and frosted them as well. We left her alone for the first time. It was only for 30 minutes but I feel like we gave her some freedom and space.

I feel like our recovery is on track. She has a low immune system but is taking it well. Today I felt like Kaylee feels good mentally and feels healthy in her head but she physically feels weak. This has to be hard on a young person. To know you're not well but feel well. I'm sure she wants to get on with life and leave this moment behind.

I'm ready to move forward. This speed bump has made our family closer. We have been together as a family more than we have in years. I think when it comes down to it we only have each other. I think everyone has good intentions but my family is just that, my family. I have to take care of my team because nobody else will.