I'm moving on from my blog. It served a healthy purpose from day one and I appreciate the outlet it provided. Today I can't find that need to confess, share, and unload. So instead of writing my blog I'm going to write a book on my site here. Crazy, maybe. But different and challenging. I'm going to create something that will occupy my time at those moments when I need it. So stay tuned and hop on board if you want. This is my story.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Delayed Mugshot...
My business profile in the KC Star was pushed back to next Tuesday. This week it looks like a landscaper edged me out. I'll let you know when it is in the paper. I thought it was going to be in this week's business section of emerging business but it looks like they didn't run emerging business. I guess my mugshot will have to wait another week.
Kaylee is plugging away. This chemo is the painful stuff so she is fighting aching in her bones and jaw. I forgot that this was the painful treatments. Our last few months were the treatments that produced sickness, unfortunately we had to revisit the painful stuff again. I hope she feels better soon. Kaylee is almost to the maintenance phase of treatments. I think that is right around March 1st. The maintenance phase is where it slows down with treatments and we see if the cancer stays away for good. Say a prayer for us that my child doesn't have to endure anymore mental and physical pain. We want this to be in our rear view mirror.
Have a good day and lets hope no one will ever have to write about cancer, children, or chemotherapy ever again.
Kaylee is plugging away. This chemo is the painful stuff so she is fighting aching in her bones and jaw. I forgot that this was the painful treatments. Our last few months were the treatments that produced sickness, unfortunately we had to revisit the painful stuff again. I hope she feels better soon. Kaylee is almost to the maintenance phase of treatments. I think that is right around March 1st. The maintenance phase is where it slows down with treatments and we see if the cancer stays away for good. Say a prayer for us that my child doesn't have to endure anymore mental and physical pain. We want this to be in our rear view mirror.
Have a good day and lets hope no one will ever have to write about cancer, children, or chemotherapy ever again.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Bored and Tired...
01/28/08 - Hello there. I am sitting in a conference call right now and bored to death. I've decided to write a blog because I'm going crazy listening to these IT guys talk a lot of foreign terms I know nothing about. So here I am.
I had a good weekend. We did absolutely nothing. It was relaxing. We picked up a ping pong table and had fun with that. I'm boring today, not much to say. I just left the conference call because all that mumbo jumbo gives me a headache. I decided to go to my office and lay down and finish my blog. If I offend anyone by laying down on my couch at 3:30, I'm sorry. I can and I am.
Did you do anything exciting this weekend? The weather was beautiful. I'm going to stop this entry because I have zero to say right now and I feel this conversation is going cheesy. Forgive me and I'll talk later.
I had a good weekend. We did absolutely nothing. It was relaxing. We picked up a ping pong table and had fun with that. I'm boring today, not much to say. I just left the conference call because all that mumbo jumbo gives me a headache. I decided to go to my office and lay down and finish my blog. If I offend anyone by laying down on my couch at 3:30, I'm sorry. I can and I am.
Did you do anything exciting this weekend? The weather was beautiful. I'm going to stop this entry because I have zero to say right now and I feel this conversation is going cheesy. Forgive me and I'll talk later.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Friday, January 25, 2008
Light at the End...
I met with Blue Cross this afternoon and we discussed my best options for insuring my first 10 kids. As I was sitting there listening to detailed coverage I couldn't help but think how many times I have heard that insurance medical lingo. I never had any interest in that verbiage and I still don't. It was always Chinese before and still is. The difference is those things they talk about are things that can happen. Max coverage, catastrophic circumstances, and deductibles. I realized how it used to be so boring and irrelevant. Today it hits home even if it's boring. It's relevant.
It reminds me when you're young and people older then you always talk about insurance coverage and how you can't drive this car because you're not covered under the insurance. This always sounded so stupid because I wasn't going to wreck or nothing was going to happen to ME. I now know what they were talking about. Those stories are real and those circumstances can happen. You just pray it doesn't happen to you.
To think anyone loves their kid as much as me is impossible. We all think that right? I sometimes think that if everyone knew how much I loved my kid then everyone would know the pain. Well I hope we all love our kids that way. I know we all feel love towards our kids equally but when you start taking inventory because you think you might lose that love it is hard on you.
I look at Kay and I have so much admiration for her. She hasn't been to school this year. We are in our second semester and she has only walked in the school doors once this year. Her purpose there was unrelated to studies. We have been spending much of our time with children and teenagers that are missing their hair. Her sweet little head is growing hair. Her legs are starting to get strong and they are gaining weight daily. Our immune system is at a strong level and we feel better. We can see light at the end of the tunnel.
It reminds me when you're young and people older then you always talk about insurance coverage and how you can't drive this car because you're not covered under the insurance. This always sounded so stupid because I wasn't going to wreck or nothing was going to happen to ME. I now know what they were talking about. Those stories are real and those circumstances can happen. You just pray it doesn't happen to you.
To think anyone loves their kid as much as me is impossible. We all think that right? I sometimes think that if everyone knew how much I loved my kid then everyone would know the pain. Well I hope we all love our kids that way. I know we all feel love towards our kids equally but when you start taking inventory because you think you might lose that love it is hard on you.
I look at Kay and I have so much admiration for her. She hasn't been to school this year. We are in our second semester and she has only walked in the school doors once this year. Her purpose there was unrelated to studies. We have been spending much of our time with children and teenagers that are missing their hair. Her sweet little head is growing hair. Her legs are starting to get strong and they are gaining weight daily. Our immune system is at a strong level and we feel better. We can see light at the end of the tunnel.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
A Great Organization...
We had a doctor appointment today. Kaylee is doing great and they said she should be able to attend school at the end of March. It was nice to hear that. I looked at her today and felt sorry for her. How does a child comprehend, justify, or accept that they are having to handle things that most of us never will. I've never heard her complain or say why me. That doesn't mean she doesn't think it. Hell I've never been through anything like it, but I have had experiences in my life that made me say "why me." I can't imagine what goes through her head.I made a video promoting the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society's Hike for Discovery program. It is an event that has Kaylee as a Honoree Patient. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJPx_LKWe14 If anyone is interested in finding out more info please call Daniel at 913.262.1515.
My next video is going to be for Team in Training. This event is awesome, I look forward to participating soon. Sandy Duncan is the person to talk to at the LLS if you need info on this awesome program. Both events helps fund research and offers families such as mine a helping hand in their time of crisis.
I encourage everyone to call the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society and ask if you can help them in any way. Their number is 913.262.1515. Tell them Michael Quijas referred you.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Power & Light District...
Writing twice in one day, a first in a long time. I installed McFadden's in the Power & Light today. The women's restroom should be done tomorrow. I am pleased to have such a hopping new restaurant and bar. The crowds are enormous, and the atmosphere is electric. I should do really good there.I am excited to announce that I was offered a big beautiful building downtown that I can project advertising on. It is in the heart of the Power & Light District. This project should be appealing to advertisers who want prime real estate in this new district. I"ll let you know how it goes.
I encourage everyone to check out the Power & Light if you get a chance. It is incredible. Outdoor concerts, bowling alley, restaurants , and theatres. Until you see it, it is hard to explain. Well I guess I'll go for now. Goodnight!
KC Star...
Hello. I wanted to check in and say hello. I have been busy getting back into the swing of things since the conclusion of our admissions. We started a new cycle of treatments with Kaylee. This round is steroids and shots. Although it is less time in the hospital, it is torture for Kaylee.The steroids affect your mood, your eating, and your appearance. There has been a change in mood and eating but no physical difference. I hate that she fears the shots. I hate not being able to take the fear away. We are with her on every step of the journey, but she is on her own with the taking the pain part.
I was thinking how important this blog was in helping me during our dark days. At first I was concerned how I might have came across with all the whining and whimpering, but it was my release for six months. It was so helpful to me and my sanity that I will never apologize. It didn't take me long to find my therapeutic release and I am grateful. I look at the alternatives and I admit that someone could easily indulge into something a lot less healthier then a blog. The pain and scare are unbelievable when it deals with your child.
I registered my non-profit, 10 Kids Insured, with the state and now I am filling out my 501(c) 3 paper work with the IRS. The wait for approval can be long, so I am running my foundation through the Truman Heartland foundation. This wonderful operation will expedite my cause without a long wait. It is very exciting. I am setting up meetings with insurance companies that see the potential and want to get on board with this wonderful cause. Different health care foundations are contacting me as well expressing interest. It seems like this idea to help kids with health care might just work.
InAd TV is doing great as well. I am installing McFadden's and Stroud's this week. We received the green light from the Power & Light district last Thursday. I am supposed to be Downtown in four hours. Ouch! The Stroud's install is one that gets me out of the Bar and Nightclub circuit and lands me into a family style atmosphere. Hooray! I like my bars and nightclubs but it will be nice to unveil my product & service in such a renowned place as Stroud's.
There will a story on me next Tuesday in the Business section of the KC Star. It is a section called Emerging Business, and they do a Q & A with entrepreneurs and my number was called. I am privileged and honored. It took long enough. But timing is everything, right? I hope I sound OK in the article. Take a look at the article and keep me in mind if you ever do an ad campaign. I hope to talk soon, thank you for every thing.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
From My Friend...
Philippians 4:13 --- I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
The road to success is not straight. There is a curve called Failure, a loop called Confusion, speed bumps called Friends, red lights called Enemies, caution lights called Family. You will have flats called Jobs. But, if you have a spare called Determination, an engine called Perseverance, insurance called Faith, a driver called Jesus, you will make it to a place called Success.
Do you ever see something and know it was a message designed just for you. It might be called signs, a light bulb, or a premonition. Whatever it is you need to recognize it. I'm so scared to move forward with 10 Kids Insured. I am moving forward, but to do something that everyone tells me I can't becomes wearing. I have my crew around me rallying and I have family and friends supporting this dream but everyone else say's "If it's never been done then it can't be done" I beg to differ.
When I started InAd TV I had several people say the same thing. Today I have endured nearly three years of business and it is growing. I think that it is appropriate that InAd TV will get to birth a new way of thinking about children who are in households that make $1.00 to much an hour at Walmart to qualify for adequate healthcare for their children. It probably does sound outrageous that a man is proposing he use public restrooms from across the city to fund healthcare for our own children, Kansas City Children. 10 Kids Insured!
The road to success is not straight. There is a curve called Failure, a loop called Confusion, speed bumps called Friends, red lights called Enemies, caution lights called Family. You will have flats called Jobs. But, if you have a spare called Determination, an engine called Perseverance, insurance called Faith, a driver called Jesus, you will make it to a place called Success.
Do you ever see something and know it was a message designed just for you. It might be called signs, a light bulb, or a premonition. Whatever it is you need to recognize it. I'm so scared to move forward with 10 Kids Insured. I am moving forward, but to do something that everyone tells me I can't becomes wearing. I have my crew around me rallying and I have family and friends supporting this dream but everyone else say's "If it's never been done then it can't be done" I beg to differ.
When I started InAd TV I had several people say the same thing. Today I have endured nearly three years of business and it is growing. I think that it is appropriate that InAd TV will get to birth a new way of thinking about children who are in households that make $1.00 to much an hour at Walmart to qualify for adequate healthcare for their children. It probably does sound outrageous that a man is proposing he use public restrooms from across the city to fund healthcare for our own children, Kansas City Children. 10 Kids Insured!
September 2007 Newsletter from KC Ad Club
Special "Help a Member Out" Section
If you can help him, he can help you. Fellow Ad Club member Michael Quijas needs your help. His daughter was recently diagnosed with leukemia, and he and his family are spending much of their time at the hospital. Michael runs a small business, In Ad TV, which plays 15- to 30-second videos in Kansas City's premier restaurants and nightclubs.
Because he understandably has little time to spend on finding new business, he is offering free advertising to any Ad Club members who have produced material. If interested please contact Michael at 816.651.9471 or 877.446.2388 or visit http://www.inadtv.com/.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Coping Mechanism...
I was walking past the computer this morning and thought about coping mechanisms. I used this computer as a tool for the longest time. I had to get by and I found that writing was my tool. In December I wrote 51 blogs. This release or outlet made it possible for me to get it out. I needed to get out the built up pain and confusion. This release made it possible to function. I am grateful.
So many times I spent hours writing to pass the time. This was therapeutic and soothing. I could have ran to the local pub and spilled my guts to the guy next me but I chose to write. In the process I may have bored, depressed, or burdened you. But I did it for me in a healthy format. For this I am thankful. How many times do you get to look at a piece of machinery or technology and get to say thank you? Well that's what I'm saying this morning. Thank you to my computer for being there when I needed you. I couldn't image having to do battle like we did and do without something to alleviate the pain.
If you remember, I was prescribed countless meds to assist in the insomnia, depression, and anxiety. Looking back, it was my laptop who stood in there for me. Some might find this writing to be bizaar and odd but it is my pill that helps me get through. Although I haven't written with the passion I once did, that's OK. I am finding other outlets these days to occupy my thoughts and time. If I could pass any wisdom or advice it would be this. When times find you at a low and out of it, reach for something that is healthy. I could have grabbed a bottle of liquor or something worse, but I decided to entrust in my computer. Weird I know it, but today I can say that no only did it help me survive without going nutts it gave me a script in hand of all that we went through. The countless hours writing has produced something tangible that I will share with myself and others who want to know "how'd you do it"
So many times I spent hours writing to pass the time. This was therapeutic and soothing. I could have ran to the local pub and spilled my guts to the guy next me but I chose to write. In the process I may have bored, depressed, or burdened you. But I did it for me in a healthy format. For this I am thankful. How many times do you get to look at a piece of machinery or technology and get to say thank you? Well that's what I'm saying this morning. Thank you to my computer for being there when I needed you. I couldn't image having to do battle like we did and do without something to alleviate the pain.
If you remember, I was prescribed countless meds to assist in the insomnia, depression, and anxiety. Looking back, it was my laptop who stood in there for me. Some might find this writing to be bizaar and odd but it is my pill that helps me get through. Although I haven't written with the passion I once did, that's OK. I am finding other outlets these days to occupy my thoughts and time. If I could pass any wisdom or advice it would be this. When times find you at a low and out of it, reach for something that is healthy. I could have grabbed a bottle of liquor or something worse, but I decided to entrust in my computer. Weird I know it, but today I can say that no only did it help me survive without going nutts it gave me a script in hand of all that we went through. The countless hours writing has produced something tangible that I will share with myself and others who want to know "how'd you do it"
Excess Inventory...
I have to tell everyone about something that happened today. I had an appointment with Operation Breakthrough at 9:00 am and I was blown away. This organization is so incredible. They perform magic every day with the assistance they provide to working families who need a helping hand. I toured the facility and had the opportunity to meet the staff. This dedicated team of volunteers and staff have been doing this for 38 years, and they do it well.
If you are wondering what I am doing with "10 Kids Insured" please let me explain. I am in the process of setting up a non-profit 501c3. This organization will provide medical insurance to 10 uninsured kids a month who live in the metro area. I intend to give children an opportunity at health. I want these kids to visit a doctor when they need to and I want them to know that the bill is taken care of. I am going to team up with an organization who can help me find children that need the help. I am so excited about this project and the potential it has. I may have found my calling in life.
I had so many people tell why it wouldn't work that it became a joke. It wasn't until I started taking the final steps that everyone has started to say, "He can do it!" To tell you how far this has gone, I am negotiating with different Insurance Co.'s to have a health care product just for my organization. This tailored policy will help with copays and deductibles. They are talking. This is exciting.
For those who wonder how I will fund it, I am taking the percentage of ads that would go unsold on my network (industry standard) and unloading them for a cause instead of concert tickets and limousines. These entertainment luxuries are commonly passed around for trade out in the advertising industry. I am doing something highly unusual. I am not in the party mood these days so I elect to donate the excess inventory to a cause I am passionate about. The uninsured kids.
Please pass the word that anyone who does business with InAd TV will be helping out the community. I will take that ad money and insure kids. Please help me make this a success. I can do it and I can make a difference, so can you!
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Life Works Best When You Do Things Unlike The Rest...
I can hardly sleep. It's not the stress like it was before but excitement. My new non-profit project "10 Kids Insured" is starting to get legs of its own. I meet with Operation Breakthrough on Monday. They are an organization here in town that does wonderful things for low income families. They said they could provide me families who need insurance. These families are often dealing with tough times and this helping hand from "10Kids Insured" would be priceless.This cause feels right. I have made the decision to go forward even though I could research two more years, contemplate one more additional year, then maybe proceed. This would seem like the normal route I might have taken in the past, but today I have a different mind set. I will launch, make some mistakes, and learn as I go. Why wait for all the planets to line up. If I string this out then I might not ever do it.
If Operation Breakthrough can help provide the kids then a lot of worry is off my plate. I had so many people tell me that I couldn't proceed without the kids. I always believed that if I started on the path to make my dream a reality then all unknowns would find a way to work themselves out. But can you believe that someone would could find reasons not to do this? I mean I could find a million reasons not to get out of bed. But that's not me. I want to be the guy at the end of the day, who can get into bed and sleep soundly knowing that he is helping Kansas City kids stay healthy! In addition to that, I will be providing peace of mind to families who worried about health care for their loved ones. Who knows, I might make atleast one person sleep soundly as well. Life works best when you do things unlike the rest.
Friday, January 11, 2008
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Kip Cleveland...
Do you like your job? I ask you that question because I absolutely love what I do. I'm sure that there's times that I've hated it. But today I love it. I love it when I hear people talk about In Ad TV. This is awesome for me because it's like my idea that got into the main stream. It was my pencil and eraser that penned out the name on a piece of scratch paper.
I sit in my office sometimes and listen to people make sales calls. They say I'm so and so from In Ad TV. I get a kick out of that. To hear that this thing has moved from the garage and into the real world is an honor. I think about the times I sat alone with this business on my back, weighing me down, and not knowing if this dream was really worth it. Today is has bought me freedom. It is my partner!
I suggest that you follow your heart and instinct if you should ever do your own thing. The forest gets pretty thick and resolution seems to disappear. I say this because I believe everyone has a part of them that would love to start their own business. This business might be a hobby that has potential. So many people I know get into a position in life where they think they are stuck. Stuck with that dry paycheck, crusty co-workers, and a miserable drive each morning. But let me remind you that you are not stuck. You can do what you want. Hard work might lay ahead of you, an investment of time may be due, but success is there for the taking. My drive comes from times that I would have a "NORMAL JOB" and hear my fellow co-workers bounce ideas off of each other for that next big thing.
I remember a gentleman named Kip Cleveland in Los Angeles. He was an engineer by schooling but was selling auto's in LA with me. He would always say "there has to be something better out there. That one thing that can take care of everything." He was referring to an invention, a service, a song. Anything that could let you enjoy yourself and pay your bills.
Kip quite and disappeared. Rumors floated around that he was driving a meals on wheels truck. Sure enough, I was standing on the lot waiting for a customer, when I heard a loud horn sound. I turn to notice a Hot Dog Truck or Coffee Truck, something pull in. There was Kip behind the steering wheel. He had made the leap. He is pushing out a product and turning a buck. He made the move and did what most others can't or won't do. Well I have to go but enjoy your day at whatever you do. Some of us will be putting toppings on hot dogs, others will be spending time in the restroom adjusting TV screens, and you might be answering someone elses phone. Let's just be happy that we are doing something and we have somewhere that we have to be.
I sit in my office sometimes and listen to people make sales calls. They say I'm so and so from In Ad TV. I get a kick out of that. To hear that this thing has moved from the garage and into the real world is an honor. I think about the times I sat alone with this business on my back, weighing me down, and not knowing if this dream was really worth it. Today is has bought me freedom. It is my partner!
I suggest that you follow your heart and instinct if you should ever do your own thing. The forest gets pretty thick and resolution seems to disappear. I say this because I believe everyone has a part of them that would love to start their own business. This business might be a hobby that has potential. So many people I know get into a position in life where they think they are stuck. Stuck with that dry paycheck, crusty co-workers, and a miserable drive each morning. But let me remind you that you are not stuck. You can do what you want. Hard work might lay ahead of you, an investment of time may be due, but success is there for the taking. My drive comes from times that I would have a "NORMAL JOB" and hear my fellow co-workers bounce ideas off of each other for that next big thing.
I remember a gentleman named Kip Cleveland in Los Angeles. He was an engineer by schooling but was selling auto's in LA with me. He would always say "there has to be something better out there. That one thing that can take care of everything." He was referring to an invention, a service, a song. Anything that could let you enjoy yourself and pay your bills.
Kip quite and disappeared. Rumors floated around that he was driving a meals on wheels truck. Sure enough, I was standing on the lot waiting for a customer, when I heard a loud horn sound. I turn to notice a Hot Dog Truck or Coffee Truck, something pull in. There was Kip behind the steering wheel. He had made the leap. He is pushing out a product and turning a buck. He made the move and did what most others can't or won't do. Well I have to go but enjoy your day at whatever you do. Some of us will be putting toppings on hot dogs, others will be spending time in the restroom adjusting TV screens, and you might be answering someone elses phone. Let's just be happy that we are doing something and we have somewhere that we have to be.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
A Hand...
Me and Kaylee went to a late movie last night. We saw a movie called Walk Hard: The Dewy Cox Story. It was funny and entertaining. It could have been any movie really, just getting Kay out is an enjoyment. We have it figured out, Tuesday night is going to be slow as far as a attendance and that is the perfect setting for us. Our immune system is building up but it is low and slow. Our new treatments start this morning. Kay and Tammie are at the hospital as I write. I guess we had to go early so they could perform an EKG. Columbia & CMH both forgot to give her an EKG at the start of this. They are supposed to be monitoring her little heart. The liver concerns may have made them overlook this procedure. A heart scan. Who would of ever predicted?
I'd much rather be buying shoes for the bowling league or pom pom's for cheerleading. But this is our life for now and we'll go to the doctors office four hours before our scheduled appointment if we have to. I have to think that good has come from this. I mean, what would I be doing right now if I wasn't dealing with cancer in my child? Probably cruising through life without much thought of where I want to be and who is important. Not appreciating as much as one should.
I'd much rather be buying shoes for the bowling league or pom pom's for cheerleading. But this is our life for now and we'll go to the doctors office four hours before our scheduled appointment if we have to. I have to think that good has come from this. I mean, what would I be doing right now if I wasn't dealing with cancer in my child? Probably cruising through life without much thought of where I want to be and who is important. Not appreciating as much as one should.
I am going to embrace the fact that bad things can happen to great kids. Good things can happen to bad people. There's no rhyme or reason to life. It's recognizing the signs and course you're supposed to take. I'm going to make our experience a helpful one. It will help make me a better person and it will be the drive for me to help those who need a hand. Everyone needs a hand from time to time. May my experience be the extended hand to others.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
The Market...
I wanted to tell everyone that I finished my book. It is called "One - 80" My First One Hundred 80 days. My Child's Fight Against Leukemia. One eighty refers to the six months we've been fighting and the U-turn our life took.
I am going to self publish my book. I'm doing it for me and Kaylee. I'm sure it wouldn't sell anyways but I'm going to market it through my site, screens, and media connections. I think I'm going to do it through http://www.lulu.com/ . I think that is an easy way to do it. I can put it together and work on it at night at my leisure. I'll keep you posted.
The Star called today and I am getting featured next Tuesday or Friday in a business spotlight piece. I am honored and privileged. Thank you. I've been wondering when the press might notice my TV network. I'm the only guy placing TV's above urinals in KC. My Tv's aren't compared to the competition or any other product. I own the market in KC. That's powerful stuff. How often does one get to say he has no competition and an open market. So it goes back to the thing, where's the press been? Well I'm ready and honored that anyone has taken notice. I'll let you know when my story is featured. Goodnight!
Monday, January 7, 2008
WWW.10KIDSINSURED.COM
I'm back! I feel like I abandoned my blog. The truth is I've been extremely busy working on getting my latest project launched. I am providing free health care coverage to 120 kids for the next 12 months. I have been working hard trying to get this insurance project off the ground. My organization is going to be called http://www.10kidsinsured.com/. The website will be a .org but I haven't started the starter web page and I'm to lazy to do it right now. I have the insurance company ready to take part. I have my first sponsor lined up to facilitate the first 10 kids. I have the the bank who will provide the escrow account for my endeavor. All I need now is a P.R. firm that will believe in me and my program and help launch it through some Press/Media Releases. I will not be able to pay for the exposure but I can deliver clients to their door if done right. http://www.10kidsinsured.com/
I haven't been able to write lately. I have writers block. This happens when things are going good. So I can't apologize. We are out of the hospital and our break has been over two weeks. Kaylee is relaxed and feeling good. Our next phase begins tomorrow. I thank you all for the prayers and kindness we have received over the last six months. The power of prayer is strong. Our next phase includes steroids and it has Kaylee worried. The last time we did steroids it affected her taste and it was tough. Weight loss, appetite loss. Tough loss. A prayer or two if you have it in you, please.
I am excited about the kids insurance. I feel passionate about the cause. So many people confessed to me that they too had an insurance problem here and there. Gaps in enrollment, No money, or a lost job and the inability to afford Cobra. I wasn't alone. The embarrassment is the same for all of us. I will help ensure that children have the ability to see a doctor when needed. I will give piece of mind to worried parents and kids. 10kidsinsured.com.
My real drive is that people say I can't do this or that. I can do whatever I think. I can put in place a TV channel in the restroom. I can put TV's in clothing. I can insure 120 kids a year in 50 different cities if I want. I can be part of a solution or part of a problem. I choose to do great things!
I haven't been able to write lately. I have writers block. This happens when things are going good. So I can't apologize. We are out of the hospital and our break has been over two weeks. Kaylee is relaxed and feeling good. Our next phase begins tomorrow. I thank you all for the prayers and kindness we have received over the last six months. The power of prayer is strong. Our next phase includes steroids and it has Kaylee worried. The last time we did steroids it affected her taste and it was tough. Weight loss, appetite loss. Tough loss. A prayer or two if you have it in you, please.
I am excited about the kids insurance. I feel passionate about the cause. So many people confessed to me that they too had an insurance problem here and there. Gaps in enrollment, No money, or a lost job and the inability to afford Cobra. I wasn't alone. The embarrassment is the same for all of us. I will help ensure that children have the ability to see a doctor when needed. I will give piece of mind to worried parents and kids. 10kidsinsured.com.
My real drive is that people say I can't do this or that. I can do whatever I think. I can put in place a TV channel in the restroom. I can put TV's in clothing. I can insure 120 kids a year in 50 different cities if I want. I can be part of a solution or part of a problem. I choose to do great things!
Thursday, January 3, 2008
A Normal Night...
I'm watching the Kansas Jayhawks play in the Orange bowl tonight. It is 8:39 PM and me and Kaylee are going to the movies at 9:20 tonight. Our movie is going to be Juno. I love going to the movies and this one will be exceptionally special since Kay hasn't been able to attend a showing due to her low immune system. We are gambling that no one will be in the theatre because it is a week night, late, and KU Football is taking place.
We have to be cautious about our surroundings daily. This outing is a start to the good times that lay ahead of us. It is especially special to me because I've been Kaylee's movie partner since her first movie experience. That first movie was Lion King in 1993 or '94. I remember it was at the theatre's located at Midland & 435. We made it only half way through due to the loudness. Although it was incomplete, it was the beginning of a date that has lasted over a dozen years.
We did it! The movie was good and the theatre was empty. We had us some popcorn, nachos, and a couple drinks. I was touched by the experience. I was honored to be there next to my baby girl who deserves to have as much movie time as any other fifteen year old. Boy is it easy to take life's simple pleasures for granted. We sat in the front of the theatre and enjoyed our movie. Kaylee picked her seat out and we had a wonderful Daddy Daughter night. There wasn't a place I'd rather be but next to this child who has waited six long months to attend a screening.
Parenting is a honor. Kaylee didn't ask if I wanted to go, she advised me that we would be attending the 9:20 screening of Juno. I never blinked or batted an eye. She knew that I wouldn't and that made me feel great. The night was good for me mentally as it was for her too. I let everything go- finances, work, and worrying. It was all about Kaylee and that's what I really needed. A normal night with a normal fifteen year old.
We have to be cautious about our surroundings daily. This outing is a start to the good times that lay ahead of us. It is especially special to me because I've been Kaylee's movie partner since her first movie experience. That first movie was Lion King in 1993 or '94. I remember it was at the theatre's located at Midland & 435. We made it only half way through due to the loudness. Although it was incomplete, it was the beginning of a date that has lasted over a dozen years.
We did it! The movie was good and the theatre was empty. We had us some popcorn, nachos, and a couple drinks. I was touched by the experience. I was honored to be there next to my baby girl who deserves to have as much movie time as any other fifteen year old. Boy is it easy to take life's simple pleasures for granted. We sat in the front of the theatre and enjoyed our movie. Kaylee picked her seat out and we had a wonderful Daddy Daughter night. There wasn't a place I'd rather be but next to this child who has waited six long months to attend a screening.
Parenting is a honor. Kaylee didn't ask if I wanted to go, she advised me that we would be attending the 9:20 screening of Juno. I never blinked or batted an eye. She knew that I wouldn't and that made me feel great. The night was good for me mentally as it was for her too. I let everything go- finances, work, and worrying. It was all about Kaylee and that's what I really needed. A normal night with a normal fifteen year old.
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
1:00 AM 01-01-08...
It's a New Year, I'm not sure if that's capitalized or not, but it will be tonight. I am comfortable and thankful that we are home. I'm in my comfortable bed watching the movie, Monster, with Charlize Theron. I'm writing tonight for the first time in a few days, I haven't got much to say but I'll just write and see where it goes.
New Years Eve's I remember:
1986 - Tammie and I went to Nick Jones' house. I didn't want to drive Tammie home for curfew at or around 1:00 AM that night, so I had John Zuniga do the drive in my Jeep Renegade. He never made it back but called hours later to tell me that my Jeep was totaled. I remember he couldn't recall any details while he was on the phone. I just wanted to know if Tammie was alright, and where I could find the Jeep. Nothing. Well Tammie wasn't in the wreck and the Jeep was totaled.
1989 - I was at a convenience store on Main St. when a guy was shot or was shot at. I remember hearing gunshots and everyone scattering. I can't remember the details because we all got scared and drove off. If I remember right it was a drive by, or someone shooting from a parked car.
1990 - Tammie and I were living in LA, and we decided to traveled to Las Vegas for the big night. We went to several night clubs and stayed far from the strip. The one thing we didn't anticipate was a sold out Vegas. There were no rooms anywhere so we stayed off the strip in a seedy motel. It didn't matter because we never made it back to the room until early the next day.
1994 - I threw a party for Kaylee and for all my nieces and nephews. I had the party favors and decorated the house with balloons. We had pizza and we brought in the new year as a family. Safe and sound.
1999 - I drove a limo in San Diego. The big scare was that all the computers where going to crash. I was hired to take a group of kids to a concert. I think it was a big Blink 182 show. I think it was held at SDSU. I'm a little foggy about the details but it was peaceful.
2000 - Our family and several others went to San Diego Bay for a concert and family night. It was relaxing and a treat when they pulled our kids on stage to dance and sing. I can remember it vividly.
2005 - Stayed home.
2006 - Went to McCoy's Pub House in Westport for a couple drinks.
2007 - Laid in bed.
New Years Eve's I remember:
1986 - Tammie and I went to Nick Jones' house. I didn't want to drive Tammie home for curfew at or around 1:00 AM that night, so I had John Zuniga do the drive in my Jeep Renegade. He never made it back but called hours later to tell me that my Jeep was totaled. I remember he couldn't recall any details while he was on the phone. I just wanted to know if Tammie was alright, and where I could find the Jeep. Nothing. Well Tammie wasn't in the wreck and the Jeep was totaled.
1989 - I was at a convenience store on Main St. when a guy was shot or was shot at. I remember hearing gunshots and everyone scattering. I can't remember the details because we all got scared and drove off. If I remember right it was a drive by, or someone shooting from a parked car.
1990 - Tammie and I were living in LA, and we decided to traveled to Las Vegas for the big night. We went to several night clubs and stayed far from the strip. The one thing we didn't anticipate was a sold out Vegas. There were no rooms anywhere so we stayed off the strip in a seedy motel. It didn't matter because we never made it back to the room until early the next day.
1994 - I threw a party for Kaylee and for all my nieces and nephews. I had the party favors and decorated the house with balloons. We had pizza and we brought in the new year as a family. Safe and sound.
1999 - I drove a limo in San Diego. The big scare was that all the computers where going to crash. I was hired to take a group of kids to a concert. I think it was a big Blink 182 show. I think it was held at SDSU. I'm a little foggy about the details but it was peaceful.
2000 - Our family and several others went to San Diego Bay for a concert and family night. It was relaxing and a treat when they pulled our kids on stage to dance and sing. I can remember it vividly.
2005 - Stayed home.
2006 - Went to McCoy's Pub House in Westport for a couple drinks.
2007 - Laid in bed.
Monday, December 31, 2007
Goodbye...
I'm just about :32 minutes away from sending '07 off without regret. We look forward to 2008, and all the good health it can bring. I have to admit that this year was the worst year of my entire life. Sure I've been enlightened and blessed with emotions that were deep inside but I wish I could have never been introduced to cancer. Not through my daughter.
So if you were married, had a baby, or got promoted, then more power to you. My year was a year that dropped horrible news, consequences, and a change of life style that can be all but forgotten. I'm not sure If I lived much of this year after June 21, 2007. I really just coasted through with the anticipation of time passing, and it passed quickly. Thank you Mr. Time.
I look forward to living each day blessed from here on out. I will not take life for granted as I have. I'm going to do good things in the community and not assume others will do it. I will treat my family with kindness and appreciation. I will be a friend that friends want to have. I will say sorry when sorry is warranted. If I feel just about a cause I will not sit idle in the background as I always have. If I can make a difference then I will.
So many years come and go, but '07 will always be remembered. I can't say it will be remembered for the best of things but it will be remembered. They say risk brings greatness. I hope our risky situation will bring out the greatness not only for my family but people who are around us. I say coast or cruise when you find it necessary but remember any ground you've made will be lost if you stay in that gear. So clear your head and focus on whats in front of you and know that any thing besides your health is fixable.
I'm sitting at my dining room table writing one last paragraph before the year ends. As I do I can hear laughter and giggles from my baby girl's room. I was concerned how she would bring in her New Year, alone with mom and dad. That scenario was quickly eliminated as her friend Rachel Parsons knocked at the door. Kaylee has made it through 2007. We had some scary times but they are gone today, it's a new year and we have new plans. Tonight Kaylee and Rachel will bring in 2008 with laughter, friendship, and good company. I wish every one a Happy New Year.
So if you were married, had a baby, or got promoted, then more power to you. My year was a year that dropped horrible news, consequences, and a change of life style that can be all but forgotten. I'm not sure If I lived much of this year after June 21, 2007. I really just coasted through with the anticipation of time passing, and it passed quickly. Thank you Mr. Time.
I look forward to living each day blessed from here on out. I will not take life for granted as I have. I'm going to do good things in the community and not assume others will do it. I will treat my family with kindness and appreciation. I will be a friend that friends want to have. I will say sorry when sorry is warranted. If I feel just about a cause I will not sit idle in the background as I always have. If I can make a difference then I will.
So many years come and go, but '07 will always be remembered. I can't say it will be remembered for the best of things but it will be remembered. They say risk brings greatness. I hope our risky situation will bring out the greatness not only for my family but people who are around us. I say coast or cruise when you find it necessary but remember any ground you've made will be lost if you stay in that gear. So clear your head and focus on whats in front of you and know that any thing besides your health is fixable.
I'm sitting at my dining room table writing one last paragraph before the year ends. As I do I can hear laughter and giggles from my baby girl's room. I was concerned how she would bring in her New Year, alone with mom and dad. That scenario was quickly eliminated as her friend Rachel Parsons knocked at the door. Kaylee has made it through 2007. We had some scary times but they are gone today, it's a new year and we have new plans. Tonight Kaylee and Rachel will bring in 2008 with laughter, friendship, and good company. I wish every one a Happy New Year.
On Our Way To A New Year...
I've been through the game of wait til next year. This next year will be different. I'm going to make this the best year ever. All those phrases sound familiar don't they? Well I can't tell you how relieved I'll be to get this year behind me. This was the worse year I've ever had. One to remember, thats for sure.
I tell myself each year that the next is going to get better, and somehow it is usuallly a toss up from the one before. I hope this year brings a healthy recovery for Kaylee, a new outlook on life for me, and a healthy financial position for the family and business. So we wait and see if it works out.
Friday, December 28, 2007
So Late...
At night as I lay down to sleep, all the things that are on my plate surface. A normal man might worry about pending bills, a troubled relationship, or bad tires on his car. I lay here and worry about similar things, but at 3:30 AM I am worried about health. If it was my health I probably would be fast a sleep. But these worries are for my family. Kay's physical health, Christian's & Tammie's mental health, and my overall well being.
I just went down stairs and Kaylee is in her room watching TV. I ask if she is feeling fine because she has been sick today. I worry if her sickness is normal or if she is coming down with something. Her immune system is gone and any simple virus could have devastating effects. I love this child so much, that any discomfort is troubling for me. She assures me that she is fine and I travel back to my bed. I have to take her word.
I wonder if Christian is sleeping alright. He had a tough week getting geared for Kay's hospitalization. Even though it is over it has lingering side effects. Tammie is sleeping, but I wonder about the toll this sickness has taken on her. This mother has been through hell. We have been through hell. Again, there are stories worse than ours, but this is our story and it feels like hell any way you slice or dice it.
My other concerns are business. I'm supposed to run a business and be active and I just don't feel it sometimes. I wish someone else could do my job but there isn't anyone. I have meetings all day and it is nearly 4:00 AM. We have to discuss the direction of our business in '08 and the logistics. I'd rather have someone else figure it out. That sounds bad but it's true. I feel like I got us here and now I can pass the baton to someone else that is more qualified. Well I'm the qualified professional and I have duties calling. If I was only changing oil in a mechanic bay at Walmart.
The other night I was at a function and I mentioned Kaylee and cancer, a lady rolled her eyes. I caught it out of the corner of my eye. I can't apologize for bringing it up. It is a part of our lives. It has an impact on all of our daily decisions. I could have said something to the lady, but I didn't have the energy. I had just done a 9-10 hour shift at CMH and I was worn out. But it bothered me. I thought that maybe she thinks I should move on. Well unless you go through something like this you couldn't understand the time, energy, and wear it has on you. It is my life right now.
Well it's my bed time and I just want you to know if I talk or write about cancer, it's only because my child has it. If she had an earache I'd be talking ears, a sore throat I'd be talking throats. Unfortunately its cancer and thats my concentration and my conversation. Good night.
I just went down stairs and Kaylee is in her room watching TV. I ask if she is feeling fine because she has been sick today. I worry if her sickness is normal or if she is coming down with something. Her immune system is gone and any simple virus could have devastating effects. I love this child so much, that any discomfort is troubling for me. She assures me that she is fine and I travel back to my bed. I have to take her word.
I wonder if Christian is sleeping alright. He had a tough week getting geared for Kay's hospitalization. Even though it is over it has lingering side effects. Tammie is sleeping, but I wonder about the toll this sickness has taken on her. This mother has been through hell. We have been through hell. Again, there are stories worse than ours, but this is our story and it feels like hell any way you slice or dice it.
My other concerns are business. I'm supposed to run a business and be active and I just don't feel it sometimes. I wish someone else could do my job but there isn't anyone. I have meetings all day and it is nearly 4:00 AM. We have to discuss the direction of our business in '08 and the logistics. I'd rather have someone else figure it out. That sounds bad but it's true. I feel like I got us here and now I can pass the baton to someone else that is more qualified. Well I'm the qualified professional and I have duties calling. If I was only changing oil in a mechanic bay at Walmart.
The other night I was at a function and I mentioned Kaylee and cancer, a lady rolled her eyes. I caught it out of the corner of my eye. I can't apologize for bringing it up. It is a part of our lives. It has an impact on all of our daily decisions. I could have said something to the lady, but I didn't have the energy. I had just done a 9-10 hour shift at CMH and I was worn out. But it bothered me. I thought that maybe she thinks I should move on. Well unless you go through something like this you couldn't understand the time, energy, and wear it has on you. It is my life right now.
Well it's my bed time and I just want you to know if I talk or write about cancer, it's only because my child has it. If she had an earache I'd be talking ears, a sore throat I'd be talking throats. Unfortunately its cancer and thats my concentration and my conversation. Good night.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Lois W. Kreighbaum 1917 - 2007
Today Tammie attended her Grandmothers funeral. I knew her fairly well since I've been with Tammie forever. Her Grandfather C.W. passed away in 2005. I remember her grandparents as a sharp dressed couple. I remember them holding Kaylee as a baby. This memory was deep set because I didn't have grandparents while Kaylee was a baby. I always thought that it was such a nice thing to see Kay with generations of family. I was extremely close to my grandpa but he passed in the early eighties. Roy Sellers was his name.
I just asked Tammie about Lois. I wanted to know if she was doing alright in the nursing home. We planned on visiting soon. I wanted Tammie to visit her Grandmother because she truly loved her and she was getting up there in age, 90. But timing is everything. We are limited to our road trips these days, especially with the cancer treatments. Unfortunately we weren't able to make that trip in time. I feel bad for Tammie because she always mentions her Grandparents when she talks of her childhood. I hate to see someone hurt, I really hate to see my love one's hurt.
My memories will be that of Kaylee sitting on the lap of C.W. and Lois, and I'll always have the memory of me bringing Rosedale BBQ to the get togethers. C.W. would always say "this is tasty stuff." Grandma always had that perfect red lipstick and those fancy clothes. I'm part of the family and I send my condolences to the kids, grandchildren, and the extended family. I guarantee Lois is enjoying her self with C.W. and God tonight. Sometimes life doesn't seem fair but taking a look at the memories, life, and legacy is relief and the thing that can make you say "that woman was my grandma, she lived a good life, and I wouldn't trade that in for anything." Rest in Peace.
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Straight Ahead...
I went to Paddy O'Quigley's in Leawood last night to check out the new TV systems we put in the restrooms. My guy's re-installed and upgraded the TV's above the urinals. I originally only put one monitor above the two urinals. The TV looked good but it was dead smack between the urinals. The guy's using the restroom wouldn't look at the LCD if there's someone next to them. They stare straight ahead. I don't want to say that we did a field test, but it was noticeable. The TV was high and in the middle, the guys we noticed wouldn't look at the TV. Guys are funny, when we use the restroom and if there's someone standing to the left or right, we look straight ahead. We never look low or to the side. Straight ahead.
I've created a living based off of Kansas City restrooms. So if you wonder why I'm telling you about patterns and techniques of men using the restroom, it's my business the way you do your business. I need everyone to look at my TV's for at least :30 seconds. Just :30 of your time please. I sell advertising and views, impressions, and captive eye balls are important. The new sound systems and positioned TV's are perfect. Perfect enough that customers were talking about it as I walked in last night.
Have you ever been so submerged into a project, work, or your life and you didn't realize the scope, magnitude, or consequences of your actions? I am going through this right now. I keep installing my TV network around town (I landed The Power and Light District this last Friday) and I've forgotten why I'm doing this. I am so caught up in implementing that I forgot why I started InAd TV. The day to day has taken away from the day dream. The hard work is being done now. I'm not out digging ditches but running a network and installing that network is tiring at times. Last night I got to hear, see, and feel my accomplishments.
I'm living a dream. I have a product that is easily recognized. I can ask almost any one under 40 yrs. of age if they've seen the TV's above the urinals or TV's in mirrors in restaurants and the answer is yes, 90% of the time. Those are mine and I'm proud of my creation. I have a TV channel and I can broadcast anything I want. I am fulfilling a dream. I am dictating and steering my future in the direction that I've chosen. I dream and I believe. But sometimes the path isn't always clear,the work, and the dream seems distant.
I want to thank everyone who believed in me and assisted me on my journey. I am starting to understand the importance of team work. If I was on my own I wouldn't be here, I'd be just another guy with a good idea. Although I spent much time in the beginning by myself, it wasn't until the team started coming together to that results started appearing. The word fortitude keeps popping up. Marching forward through the struggles, the fight, and the adversity has made me truly understand that without tough times and learning curves you never really grow. If everything was always smooth sailing then you would never know the sweetness of accomplishment. Everything would be predictable. I think unpredictability is a good element at times.
I guess I brought this issue up for a reason. Sometimes we do things in life that satisfy ourselves. Sometimes we do things for others, but in the end we have to find the things that can define who we are. It might be your family, your work, or your hobby's that brings definition to your life. I ask all of you to dig deep and ask yourself if you are doing that thing or those things that make you happy. If so, more power to you. If not try to make a change. Do something out of the ordinary and make a change. Write a book, join a club, volunteer. Do something that might open new doors. I have to say the feeling is very liberating and enriching.
Well I hope you have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Remember that we aren't guaranteed tomorrow, and those things that you put off may become regrets if not explored and put to rest. I am a dreamer and I am a doer. I take chances and gamble at times. I might get away with it but you might not, I might be able to afford to take a chance where you can't. There's no wrong or right answer, no right move or wrong move, it's all about forward motion. Live life and push forward.
I've created a living based off of Kansas City restrooms. So if you wonder why I'm telling you about patterns and techniques of men using the restroom, it's my business the way you do your business. I need everyone to look at my TV's for at least :30 seconds. Just :30 of your time please. I sell advertising and views, impressions, and captive eye balls are important. The new sound systems and positioned TV's are perfect. Perfect enough that customers were talking about it as I walked in last night.
Have you ever been so submerged into a project, work, or your life and you didn't realize the scope, magnitude, or consequences of your actions? I am going through this right now. I keep installing my TV network around town (I landed The Power and Light District this last Friday) and I've forgotten why I'm doing this. I am so caught up in implementing that I forgot why I started InAd TV. The day to day has taken away from the day dream. The hard work is being done now. I'm not out digging ditches but running a network and installing that network is tiring at times. Last night I got to hear, see, and feel my accomplishments.
I'm living a dream. I have a product that is easily recognized. I can ask almost any one under 40 yrs. of age if they've seen the TV's above the urinals or TV's in mirrors in restaurants and the answer is yes, 90% of the time. Those are mine and I'm proud of my creation. I have a TV channel and I can broadcast anything I want. I am fulfilling a dream. I am dictating and steering my future in the direction that I've chosen. I dream and I believe. But sometimes the path isn't always clear,the work, and the dream seems distant.
I want to thank everyone who believed in me and assisted me on my journey. I am starting to understand the importance of team work. If I was on my own I wouldn't be here, I'd be just another guy with a good idea. Although I spent much time in the beginning by myself, it wasn't until the team started coming together to that results started appearing. The word fortitude keeps popping up. Marching forward through the struggles, the fight, and the adversity has made me truly understand that without tough times and learning curves you never really grow. If everything was always smooth sailing then you would never know the sweetness of accomplishment. Everything would be predictable. I think unpredictability is a good element at times.
I guess I brought this issue up for a reason. Sometimes we do things in life that satisfy ourselves. Sometimes we do things for others, but in the end we have to find the things that can define who we are. It might be your family, your work, or your hobby's that brings definition to your life. I ask all of you to dig deep and ask yourself if you are doing that thing or those things that make you happy. If so, more power to you. If not try to make a change. Do something out of the ordinary and make a change. Write a book, join a club, volunteer. Do something that might open new doors. I have to say the feeling is very liberating and enriching.
Well I hope you have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Remember that we aren't guaranteed tomorrow, and those things that you put off may become regrets if not explored and put to rest. I am a dreamer and I am a doer. I take chances and gamble at times. I might get away with it but you might not, I might be able to afford to take a chance where you can't. There's no wrong or right answer, no right move or wrong move, it's all about forward motion. Live life and push forward.
This Man...
Merry Christmas everyone. I am writing quick and to the point because I'm at ease tonight and I haven't got much to say. This feeling creeps in every time we get home from a hospitalization. I am so comfortable and carefree that much thought into anything would sour my mood. I have no problems right now. I am thankful and I am in love. I'm so in love with my family. Everyone is home and in their designated rooms and I have my thoughts about this day, this evening.
How many times have you thought to yourself, "This day is perfect" or "This is the best present ever" or "I couldn't ask for anything more." We've all felt or said those words at some time or another. Today I confess that I never truly knew the meaning to any of those phrases until December 24, 2007. I've said it, I might have felt it in the past, but today was the pure and sincere feeling of those catch phrases. Today is one of the best days I've ever had.
I ate too much. I ate bad food and drank soda all day. I didn't climb a mountain and I didn't save a baby from a burning building. But I had a milestone of my own. I relaxed with my children all day long. I got to spend the day with Kaylee, on the couch, at the table, at home. I would have never imagined we would be out of the hospital. I was ready to spend Christmas in the CMH. I was ready to rub a back of a child getting sick. I was ready to turn the lights low and write to pass the time. I was ready to deliver the pep talk to both kids, I was ready to give the "wait til next year" talk. Everything I was ready for, got derailed. I'm fine with that.
I can not tell you how beautiful my day, night, and tomorrow will be. We are out and the truth is that I couldn't have asked for a better present. Listen again. I couldn't ask for a better day, no matter what was presented. We have our little ones doing whatever they do. Watching TV, playing video games, texting. Our sickness disappeared as we drove off from the hospital. I can't explain the turn of events, but something blessed us and we are grateful. This man has been around a few holiday's and special day's, but this day and this time is the best a father could ever ask for. I'm not sure what our future has in store, but today is my day and I'm going love it like there is no tomorrow.
Monday, December 24, 2007
John Rossi Ireland...
Do you have a mentor? Is there or has there ever been some one who took the time to groom you to do something in life? Maybe you had someone show you a way that you hadn't considered. Perhaps some one took you on as personal project or maybe it was for professional reasons. Whatever the case, it's that education that has helped you as a person.
I was blessed to have a strong person, a successful person take me in and show me how to run my life, my family, my business. This kind man was John Rossi Ireland. He is the owner of Rancho Leonero Hotel in Mexico. I started out as the limo driver and slowly worked my way up. John didn't have any sons so I became the son he never had.
John was gone, outside the U.S., three weeks a month. When he was in town I drove him or accompanied him to meetings. When he was gone I handled various things.
Sunday, December 23, 2007
We are Home...Thank You!
Kaylee was discharged at 12:15 PM this afternoon. I can't tell you how awesome those words were today when they said "you've been discharged." We prayed and prayed that God would let us have a Christmas at home. I could not have asked for a better present. Thank you.
I was trying to find a schedule that would work if we didn't get released. Christian suggested we get ready Christmas morning and unwrap at CMH. I thought how I would trade shifts with Tammie, or just waiting till Kay was released was another option. It doesn't matter and I don't have to worry about either of my children now. We will have a normal Holiday. Thank you.
Kaylee usually will sleep or try to sleep during procedures but this time she read, watched video's, and moved around. Her mental state was lets do this and lets go. This technique worked. She wanted to be home for all of us. So thinking about it, it was a perfect four days. We got our treatment out of the way and we were released before Christmas. We don't have anymore admissions and this poisonous treatment is history. To the next phase we go. Thank you.
If my child or family was in any of your prayers, I thank you. There are times in your life that you will find that prayer is the only thing you seek. I can manage money or material goods on my own but those prayers become a commodity that words can't describe. Keep them coming and know we are blessed each day we get closer to our health. Thank you.
I was trying to find a schedule that would work if we didn't get released. Christian suggested we get ready Christmas morning and unwrap at CMH. I thought how I would trade shifts with Tammie, or just waiting till Kay was released was another option. It doesn't matter and I don't have to worry about either of my children now. We will have a normal Holiday. Thank you.
Kaylee usually will sleep or try to sleep during procedures but this time she read, watched video's, and moved around. Her mental state was lets do this and lets go. This technique worked. She wanted to be home for all of us. So thinking about it, it was a perfect four days. We got our treatment out of the way and we were released before Christmas. We don't have anymore admissions and this poisonous treatment is history. To the next phase we go. Thank you.
If my child or family was in any of your prayers, I thank you. There are times in your life that you will find that prayer is the only thing you seek. I can manage money or material goods on my own but those prayers become a commodity that words can't describe. Keep them coming and know we are blessed each day we get closer to our health. Thank you.
An Appropriate Sunday Prayer...
I just thought of something weird. Kaylee is included in the prayers of so many family members, friends, and strangers who want to see our daughter get better. How cool would that be if God let you listen in for a day or night. That would be powerful stuff. So it goes back to my weird thought, to hear a stranger say a few words to the big guy, for the love of your life, would be riveting, powerful, empowering, and sweet.
I love my child more then anything. You love your child or kids more then anything. The love is more then I can explain. You know, it would be like you trying to describe the love you have for yours. Although to convey that message would be next to impossible, I'd know exactly the love your talking about. I'm a parent. So to think that someone would take their time, to wish good things for my child makes me melt.
Riveting. I feel like I'm writing an English Novel. As adults we take jobs and spend our time divided between the home and our other life, work. The first being the most important but the second secures the home. I've often found that I would talk of my family and kids to my co-workers but they seldom ever had the chance to meet the core of my life. The family. At these times I wish everyone had the chance to spend a day with my family. If I'm going to ask and depend on prayers, I only wish I could show off the talent of my family. They're strong, dedicated, courageous, and all mine.
So if I could her some of those prayers as someone was laying down for the night or at any other moment of the day, I'd shut my eyes, take it in, and smile. I'd smile because that breath you used to say that prayer, those words you chose, are going to a well deserved child with a heart of gold. I might be biased or one-sided, but Kaylee Marie Quijas is an angel. My angel.
I love my child more then anything. You love your child or kids more then anything. The love is more then I can explain. You know, it would be like you trying to describe the love you have for yours. Although to convey that message would be next to impossible, I'd know exactly the love your talking about. I'm a parent. So to think that someone would take their time, to wish good things for my child makes me melt.
Riveting. I feel like I'm writing an English Novel. As adults we take jobs and spend our time divided between the home and our other life, work. The first being the most important but the second secures the home. I've often found that I would talk of my family and kids to my co-workers but they seldom ever had the chance to meet the core of my life. The family. At these times I wish everyone had the chance to spend a day with my family. If I'm going to ask and depend on prayers, I only wish I could show off the talent of my family. They're strong, dedicated, courageous, and all mine.
So if I could her some of those prayers as someone was laying down for the night or at any other moment of the day, I'd shut my eyes, take it in, and smile. I'd smile because that breath you used to say that prayer, those words you chose, are going to a well deserved child with a heart of gold. I might be biased or one-sided, but Kaylee Marie Quijas is an angel. My angel.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Ready, Set, Go...
We almost made it out of CMH tonight. Kaylee almost set a best methatrexate release time. Almost. Our counts dropped low, but were just high. We are shooting for tomorrow. Kaylee has been doing everything to get home for Christmas. She is eating even though she doesn't want to. She is drinking a lot of fluids. She is reading and keeping out of the sick mode. Absolutely incredible to watch. She loves her brother.
I say that for a reason. She wants his Christmas day to be perfect. Her sickness will have to fight Kaylee to keep her from home on Christmas. Kaylee doesn't say it but she doesn't want this disease to mess with her brother. Such a strong sister to have. The lessons this experience will teach us will be extraordinary. To go where most never have to go is a priceless experience. A nail biting experience but worth grasping and squeezing. A squeeze so tight that it rings the lesson and reason out on the table.
I wonder where we will go as a family with this new found experience. Does Kaylee commit her life to great things? Will I become a better person, man, father? Does Tammie explore her purpose? Will Christian help other siblings? Who knows and who cares right now. We will take it day by day, and not focus on our future. Today is our blessing and I intend to enjoy my here and now, but tomorrow isn't far from my mind.
The Finish Line...
This picture is of Zach and Jeff Davidson. Zach is four years old, and was diagnosed with leukemia in November of '06. He is in remission like Kaylee and he frequents the same places as Kay, CMH. His father Jeff participates in the Team in Training event sponsored by the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. I know Zach's mother, Laura, from a job we both worked at in the 1990's, Dos Hombres in Brookside.
I think this picture speaks volumes, and it needs no caption. A father and son going across a finish line. Hard work, and determination gets you from point A to point B. The same characteristics that will get you through life's events. I am pleased to tell you that Zach is in the maintenance phase of his treatment and feeling great. The finish line, in this race to recovery, is in their sights.
I wish the Davidson family a Happy Holiday and a Happy New Year. Thank you Jeff for being an inspiration. It is people like you that give motivation to others like me. You are making a difference and helping a cause we both are connected to. They say you lead by example and you have certainly done that my friend!
Free Health Care Coverage For 10 Kids...
December 22, 2007 - 7:13 AM Today is the day that marks the official six month point of our diagnosis. So with that being said I want to officially tell you what I going to do to commemorate this milestone. I am going to establish a fund that will pay for a Health Insurance Policy for ten children who live in the Kansas City area. This twelve month policy will be funded through my company InAd TV. This program will see to it that these ten chosen children will have an opportunity for a routine check-up, maintenance, and any health care needed. This program will also deliver peace of mind to the parents and family of the 10 chosen recipients.
I announce this to you today because you read my blog and I could use your help. I have been exploring different insurance companies, I have been going over the game plan, and now I want to search for someone who could use the help. I ask you to give it thought if you know someone in a certain situation that could use a hand. The prime candidate would be a family member, neighbor, or co-worker who just doesn't qualify for state assistance, and can't afford insurance premiums. Pass the word on and let me know. I am very passionate and empathetic about this cause for my own reasons. Reasons which I'll share with you shortly.
My business was started with a few goals in mind. The first was to launch a product and service that wasn't being done by anyone else. Second, I wanted to start my own TV channel, a Ted Turner of sorts. Third and final, I wanted to create something that would generate capital so I could launch programs locally, regionally, and nationally that might benefit and better mankind. I've made the machine to accomplish all three. InAd TV.
I can be reached at michael@inadtv.com , all correspondence and conversation will be kept confidential. I give you my word that there isn't anything I haven't seen so don't be embarrassed if it is a family or yourself. Tell me your story, maybe I can help. The only thing that I ask, and I hope this doesn't offend anyone, is you pass me names of healthy children with no pre-existing conditions. The reason being if I want to budget ten kid's, those ten kids will have to fall into the projections we anticipate.
June 28, 2005 - April '07
I feel compelled to tell my story. This story deals with embarrassment, pride, and good fortune. I have left it out of my writings because there is a certain self pride each of us carry, and I felt if I let it out, and if you did the math, it would be revealed that this story took place only nine months ago. Not nine years but nine months. My story could possibly tarnish the view you might have of me. Who cares!
I went almost two years with out insurance. I was so embarrassed about this issue that I wouldn't tell anyone. I live in this nice neighborhood, with people that appear to have money and I couldn't afford health insurance. This was my big secret. I could not afford an extra $400 - $500 payment per month. I couldn't afford not having it and but I actually couldn't afford it. My pride kept me away from welfare programs and my disappointment got the best of me each and every time I requested a quote from health care providers. I was gambling on the welfare of my loved ones.
Two months after we had our policy in place Kaylee came down with Leukemia. I feel blessed that I had an insurance agent that called me once a month for fourteen months telling me that I needed coverage. His name is Steve Minot and he is with Deer Creek Financial. He pushed me in a way that wasn't overbearing or pestering. He was my conscience and he was my reminder. He was my friend in the business. Well, Steve is going to help me implement my program and we are going to make a difference even if it is only ten kids at a time.
I often wonder what our situation would be if I hadn't activated coverage. Maybe this situation happened so I could help others. Who knows the whys or the whats of this thing. I just know that Kaylee Marie Quijas is the inspiration and spark of great things to come!
Friday, December 21, 2007
Six Month Mark...
We are celebrating our six month anniversary today. Celebrating is a strong word but we are thankful that this time has flown by. We are sitting in CMH right now watching Harry Potter and doing some coloring books. The life of a cancer patient.
I am grateful to be in a routine. Our days are scheduled and we have obligations to this disease. We have a few hiccups every now and then but we deal with it with calm heads. We know our medicine now and we know the expected results of the meds. Kaylee and Tammie know when we feel low on blood or platelets. I say we, but it's Kay's body, blood, and battle. Our knowledge has increased since the beginning of this. I'm pleased.
When we are here, there are other places I wish we were. But wishing doesn't change the situation, so I have to say that I wouldn't be anywhere else but by my daughters side during these times. When I'm here I have no where else I have to be. I might schedule a meeting or I might have to be here or there but I really don't. I am so content being here. You could place me in a tropical setting, give me a fancy car with a convertible top, or some casino chips and it wouldn't be enough to take my mind off a beautiful little girl stationed on 4-H. My stomach aches at times, but if Kaylee has to be here then I'm going to be here. If I'm not here then I'm going to be home with Bubba, taking care of him, our home and our pets.
I have been writing this blog for hours. I started it at 4:00 PM and it is 10:42 PM. Today was a good day. Kaylee wanted KFC this evening so I called a Taxi for a ride. Tammie had the car because she went home to freshen up and to do some laundry. Since Kaylee wanted food, and KFC was her selection, I chartered a Taxi with money in hand and picked up some chicken, potato's, and mac n cheese. I love to her the word "food" out of her mouth when we've had chemo. She is doing so good. We haven't been as sick as the times before. Kaylee is doing everything to be home for Christmas. I love her.
When I jumped in the Taxi I felt so proud heading to KFC. It was like I was a hunter going out for the evenings provisions. I didn't care how I got there, I was getting there. To be able to provide is empowering. Is that my $3.00 word? Empowering. I feel like I have the ability to equip this child with the things she needs. At least the things that are in my control or grasp. I can guarantee Kaylee's security, to a certain point. The part's I can't control are left in God's hands. Tonight he has her cuddled and comfortable. He is making Kay's stay OK.
I am grateful to be in a routine. Our days are scheduled and we have obligations to this disease. We have a few hiccups every now and then but we deal with it with calm heads. We know our medicine now and we know the expected results of the meds. Kaylee and Tammie know when we feel low on blood or platelets. I say we, but it's Kay's body, blood, and battle. Our knowledge has increased since the beginning of this. I'm pleased.
When we are here, there are other places I wish we were. But wishing doesn't change the situation, so I have to say that I wouldn't be anywhere else but by my daughters side during these times. When I'm here I have no where else I have to be. I might schedule a meeting or I might have to be here or there but I really don't. I am so content being here. You could place me in a tropical setting, give me a fancy car with a convertible top, or some casino chips and it wouldn't be enough to take my mind off a beautiful little girl stationed on 4-H. My stomach aches at times, but if Kaylee has to be here then I'm going to be here. If I'm not here then I'm going to be home with Bubba, taking care of him, our home and our pets.
I have been writing this blog for hours. I started it at 4:00 PM and it is 10:42 PM. Today was a good day. Kaylee wanted KFC this evening so I called a Taxi for a ride. Tammie had the car because she went home to freshen up and to do some laundry. Since Kaylee wanted food, and KFC was her selection, I chartered a Taxi with money in hand and picked up some chicken, potato's, and mac n cheese. I love to her the word "food" out of her mouth when we've had chemo. She is doing so good. We haven't been as sick as the times before. Kaylee is doing everything to be home for Christmas. I love her.
When I jumped in the Taxi I felt so proud heading to KFC. It was like I was a hunter going out for the evenings provisions. I didn't care how I got there, I was getting there. To be able to provide is empowering. Is that my $3.00 word? Empowering. I feel like I have the ability to equip this child with the things she needs. At least the things that are in my control or grasp. I can guarantee Kaylee's security, to a certain point. The part's I can't control are left in God's hands. Tonight he has her cuddled and comfortable. He is making Kay's stay OK.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
and in this Corner...
Kaylee is snoozing away and I'm bored so I'm going to write. Bailee Woods came by to visit Kaylee this afternoon. She was with her little sister, Ashley. We had the best talk. I tell you, I love that girl. She is wise and interesting. She gives me an angle on all of this, my child won't. I'm dad to Kaylee, so Kaylee treats me as such. Bailee talks to me honestly. Kaylee and I have an open relationship but she keeps quite about certain things. I'm not sure if she doesn't want to get emotional or maybe she doesn't want me to get emotional.
I want to tell you how much I admire my daughter. She is battling this and hasn't complained once. Her strong demeanor is that of a warrior. I have never heard her say why me. She has not openly cried, not once, about her situation. She often expressed concern for other people during her darkest days. I am proud to say Kay is mine. There are certain times that I look at Kaylee and remember memories from long ago that mirror today's strength.
When Kaylee was a young child she would ride a roller coaster and get scared. To get by she would shake her little head with her eyes closed and mumble to her self. I would listen to this mumble from time to time and I could hear her whispers. She would say " I'm going to be fine. I'm going to be fine. I'm going to be fine." Today I look at her and wonder if she ever resorted back to that chant when things weren't good.
I think the toughest part of this is not being able to wipe this out myself. I always figured there would be a day I would have to let Kay fend and defend herself when I'm not there. But I never thought it would happen until she left my care. I wanted her to have simple fights while she was under my roof. Boyfriends, certain decisions, and common coming of age dilemma's. This fight is like being in the corner as she fights 12 rounds of a title bout fight. She is fighting with no training. I'm spectating from a far and can't get in the ring to help with the jab or the knock out punch.
Bailee told me that she can see the light at the end of the tunnel. She said she can see both her and Kaylee's light. She told me that she feels like she is coming to a point where she can see her self healthy. So positive. I asked if she ever wonders why her. She said she often wonders why, but she thinks this has happened to her for the sake of helping others. She says that she has always liked to talk and that tool will help her educate others of cancer. Wow! In all the crap that she has to endure, she is thinking how she will help others.
It is my privilege to sit here with two incredibly brave young girls. The knowledge one can learn from this is a gift. I could spend a life time doing this or that but this education is priceless. I am blessed to be here. I am blessed and honored to be here at this moment in time. I could say why us, but in all reality it is a first hand experience that will take me and my family to a different level.
I want to tell you how much I admire my daughter. She is battling this and hasn't complained once. Her strong demeanor is that of a warrior. I have never heard her say why me. She has not openly cried, not once, about her situation. She often expressed concern for other people during her darkest days. I am proud to say Kay is mine. There are certain times that I look at Kaylee and remember memories from long ago that mirror today's strength.
When Kaylee was a young child she would ride a roller coaster and get scared. To get by she would shake her little head with her eyes closed and mumble to her self. I would listen to this mumble from time to time and I could hear her whispers. She would say " I'm going to be fine. I'm going to be fine. I'm going to be fine." Today I look at her and wonder if she ever resorted back to that chant when things weren't good.
I think the toughest part of this is not being able to wipe this out myself. I always figured there would be a day I would have to let Kay fend and defend herself when I'm not there. But I never thought it would happen until she left my care. I wanted her to have simple fights while she was under my roof. Boyfriends, certain decisions, and common coming of age dilemma's. This fight is like being in the corner as she fights 12 rounds of a title bout fight. She is fighting with no training. I'm spectating from a far and can't get in the ring to help with the jab or the knock out punch.
Bailee told me that she can see the light at the end of the tunnel. She said she can see both her and Kaylee's light. She told me that she feels like she is coming to a point where she can see her self healthy. So positive. I asked if she ever wonders why her. She said she often wonders why, but she thinks this has happened to her for the sake of helping others. She says that she has always liked to talk and that tool will help her educate others of cancer. Wow! In all the crap that she has to endure, she is thinking how she will help others.
It is my privilege to sit here with two incredibly brave young girls. The knowledge one can learn from this is a gift. I could spend a life time doing this or that but this education is priceless. I am blessed to be here. I am blessed and honored to be here at this moment in time. I could say why us, but in all reality it is a first hand experience that will take me and my family to a different level.
One Down, How Many More To Go?...
Kaylee and Tammie have one night completed at CMH. I am getting Christian ready for school, and I have some time so I thought I might inform you on our progress. This disease is such an inconvenience. To lay your head down at the end of the night, knowing your family is else where takes its toll. The first night isn't alright but manageable. The following days and night are the hardest.
I wonder how Kaylee gets ready mentally. She walks into CMH and knows that each foot step gets her closer to the sickness. When I try to describe the sickness it is almost impossible. Each hour you can see the effects of the medicine taking its toll. Sleepy, then discomfort, the nausea. As a spectator, or Father it is draining. Our drive is recovery and the light that waits for us at the end of the tunnel. We are right there and we can see the light. Unfortunately it's a fight that I can't help with. I can only make my little one as comfortable as possible.
My tool is laughter. We play and kid the whole time. I should say we play and kid up to the point of Kaylee's involvement. Yesterday we were playing in the clinic, laughing our heads off. The staff probably thought we were crazy, but the laughter lightens our load. Towards the end it becomes a serious battle that makes us take measures accordingly. The caregiver and patient.
Tammie is a blessing. Where there might be spouses or partners that would welcome a break from the family or one that could find comfort resting their head alone, we don't. I want my family safe and secure, comfy and relaxed. So again we are both blessed to have such a relationship that let's us play our role, the roles that help define this family.
I take care of the day to day operations of the money, bills, and all the tangibles. Tammie works the family, the house, and the sickness. A full time job in my eyes. This relationship makes me feel blessed. Having a two income family cut in half hurts financially but whats financial compared to the security my daughter feels knowing her mother is by her side? I'll take my child's security over financial woes any day. I will do whatever it takes as the Day to Day Operations Manager. Again, I answer to the big boss, Tammie Lei Quijas.
So enjoy your day and I hope you can find the time to say a prayer for my child. We need all the love we can put together. I need this kid released by Sunday or Monday. If you should find yourself bogged down and depressed for whatever reason just remember that things could be worse. I'm serious. I would trade this sickness in for those season demands and obligations in
a second. What I thought were problems in past years was nothing. Money, bills, and deadlines are insignificant issues when you are tossed some cancer. Enjoy the day!
I wonder how Kaylee gets ready mentally. She walks into CMH and knows that each foot step gets her closer to the sickness. When I try to describe the sickness it is almost impossible. Each hour you can see the effects of the medicine taking its toll. Sleepy, then discomfort, the nausea. As a spectator, or Father it is draining. Our drive is recovery and the light that waits for us at the end of the tunnel. We are right there and we can see the light. Unfortunately it's a fight that I can't help with. I can only make my little one as comfortable as possible.
My tool is laughter. We play and kid the whole time. I should say we play and kid up to the point of Kaylee's involvement. Yesterday we were playing in the clinic, laughing our heads off. The staff probably thought we were crazy, but the laughter lightens our load. Towards the end it becomes a serious battle that makes us take measures accordingly. The caregiver and patient.
Tammie is a blessing. Where there might be spouses or partners that would welcome a break from the family or one that could find comfort resting their head alone, we don't. I want my family safe and secure, comfy and relaxed. So again we are both blessed to have such a relationship that let's us play our role, the roles that help define this family.
I take care of the day to day operations of the money, bills, and all the tangibles. Tammie works the family, the house, and the sickness. A full time job in my eyes. This relationship makes me feel blessed. Having a two income family cut in half hurts financially but whats financial compared to the security my daughter feels knowing her mother is by her side? I'll take my child's security over financial woes any day. I will do whatever it takes as the Day to Day Operations Manager. Again, I answer to the big boss, Tammie Lei Quijas.
So enjoy your day and I hope you can find the time to say a prayer for my child. We need all the love we can put together. I need this kid released by Sunday or Monday. If you should find yourself bogged down and depressed for whatever reason just remember that things could be worse. I'm serious. I would trade this sickness in for those season demands and obligations in
a second. What I thought were problems in past years was nothing. Money, bills, and deadlines are insignificant issues when you are tossed some cancer. Enjoy the day!
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Count Us Out...
If any one was expecting us for the Holiday party or annual get together... Count us out. We are checking into the hospital today and we're getting our last methatrexate treatment. We had our fingers crossed that we wouldn't make the cut and we could come back next week. No can do. We need our medicine and we shall get it today.
If you were expecting a dill dip, some baked goods, or a special appearance - it's not happening. We are going to live on 4-H for the next week. We wanted to be home for the sake of the kids and for the sake of the important day. But we have obligations. I just picked up some lunch and Tammie is eating and then going home to talk to Christian. He is feeling low today. He wanted his sister home for the big day. This will be their first Christmas a part.
The nurse just came in to put an IV in Kay's arm. We have a port in her chest, that port is the access point for IV's. The port in Kay's chest is a single port so that means that she needs a traditional IV inserted in her arm when we do this methatrexate. Two IV's and one of them hurts extremely bad. This arm IV is what Kay hates the most. We just had it inserted and she almost started crying. Thirty seconds earlier we are laughing and then she is crying from fright and pain. I hate it. I hate it beyond words, and I hurt for her. It never seems to get easier, and I know it won't get easier. So I take the good with the bad. The good is we only have 60 more days or so before we go into maintenance phase. The bad is, we always have some nurse or doctor sticking my child with a needle.
If you were expecting a dill dip, some baked goods, or a special appearance - it's not happening. We are going to live on 4-H for the next week. We wanted to be home for the sake of the kids and for the sake of the important day. But we have obligations. I just picked up some lunch and Tammie is eating and then going home to talk to Christian. He is feeling low today. He wanted his sister home for the big day. This will be their first Christmas a part.
The nurse just came in to put an IV in Kay's arm. We have a port in her chest, that port is the access point for IV's. The port in Kay's chest is a single port so that means that she needs a traditional IV inserted in her arm when we do this methatrexate. Two IV's and one of them hurts extremely bad. This arm IV is what Kay hates the most. We just had it inserted and she almost started crying. Thirty seconds earlier we are laughing and then she is crying from fright and pain. I hate it. I hate it beyond words, and I hurt for her. It never seems to get easier, and I know it won't get easier. So I take the good with the bad. The good is we only have 60 more days or so before we go into maintenance phase. The bad is, we always have some nurse or doctor sticking my child with a needle.
The New Year...
Today we find out if we will be in for Christmas or if we check in next Wednesday. If our counts are good then we will stay if they come up short we have one more week to get flush. We are prepared, as much as one family could be, to spend Christmas in the unit. I would prefer to come back next week so Christain & Kay can have a normal Holiday.
We want to get this behind us so if it means sacrificing a day such as X-mas then so be it. I keep wondering how we will do it as normal for Christian. Today is bitter sweet. We have only one treatment of this methatrexate left, it will be behind us if it gets administered today and tomorrow. Kay's recovery is based on how quickly she can release the poison. Last treatment took 10 days. We go in saying that we are going to recover quickly but it is up to Kaylee Marie Quijas' little body.
On the other hand, if we do get admitted today it means that our Holiday will be most likely in the Cancer Unit. Inconvenient but neccesasry. What's one Christmas, right? Unfair if you ask me. No family should have to spend Christmas, Thanksgiving, Halloween, or the Fourth in the hospital. Unfortunately the disease doesn't recognize national observances. Well let me tell you something Mr. Disease. If we have to fight on Christmas, Arbor Day, or on Bring Your Kid To Work Day then we will. We just want to get better and feel better.
So whether your car breaks down while you're out of town or if the pocket book has you on the hook, just remember that things could be worse. You could have to drive your child to a place that uses needles & poison as their Christmas Cheer. The fourth floor has a dash of fear but we know it will make us better this next year.
We want to get this behind us so if it means sacrificing a day such as X-mas then so be it. I keep wondering how we will do it as normal for Christian. Today is bitter sweet. We have only one treatment of this methatrexate left, it will be behind us if it gets administered today and tomorrow. Kay's recovery is based on how quickly she can release the poison. Last treatment took 10 days. We go in saying that we are going to recover quickly but it is up to Kaylee Marie Quijas' little body.
On the other hand, if we do get admitted today it means that our Holiday will be most likely in the Cancer Unit. Inconvenient but neccesasry. What's one Christmas, right? Unfair if you ask me. No family should have to spend Christmas, Thanksgiving, Halloween, or the Fourth in the hospital. Unfortunately the disease doesn't recognize national observances. Well let me tell you something Mr. Disease. If we have to fight on Christmas, Arbor Day, or on Bring Your Kid To Work Day then we will. We just want to get better and feel better.
So whether your car breaks down while you're out of town or if the pocket book has you on the hook, just remember that things could be worse. You could have to drive your child to a place that uses needles & poison as their Christmas Cheer. The fourth floor has a dash of fear but we know it will make us better this next year.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Four More Days...
In four more days it will mark the six month point of this situation. I talk about going back in years and trying to remember certain Holiday's and certain times but this season will truly be remembered. Can you believe it will be six months. Wow.
I thank God and I thank time. They have both been working for us diligently. My thoughts are that we can fast forward all day long so we can get this behind us. So far it's been flying and it seems there's no stopping. After this next treatment we are done with the ugly dosage of chemo poison. On to our next treatment.
Christian had a Christmas program last night. He is in music and they had the annual music show. He is handsome and awesome. He had his tie and slacks on, and he sang loud & proud. We went as a family, my niece's joined us as well. It was a good time. I can't tell you how much I love my sister's kids. They are Emily Sharp 14, Bailey Sharp 12, and Trey 4. The girl's are making our lives so much easier since they are the same age as my children. They are such a consistent presence in our household. Trey brings laughter and innocence to our lives. The cousins love each other and we are blessed to have them a mile away. Family.
It is 10 AM and I need to handle the meat & potato's of the daily chores. Work. So if you read any more and I write any more we might end up at your house for the holiday's. No work, no money. No money, no peace. No Peace, no purpose. No purpose, no reason. No reason, no life. No life, no fun!
I thank God and I thank time. They have both been working for us diligently. My thoughts are that we can fast forward all day long so we can get this behind us. So far it's been flying and it seems there's no stopping. After this next treatment we are done with the ugly dosage of chemo poison. On to our next treatment.
Christian had a Christmas program last night. He is in music and they had the annual music show. He is handsome and awesome. He had his tie and slacks on, and he sang loud & proud. We went as a family, my niece's joined us as well. It was a good time. I can't tell you how much I love my sister's kids. They are Emily Sharp 14, Bailey Sharp 12, and Trey 4. The girl's are making our lives so much easier since they are the same age as my children. They are such a consistent presence in our household. Trey brings laughter and innocence to our lives. The cousins love each other and we are blessed to have them a mile away. Family.
It is 10 AM and I need to handle the meat & potato's of the daily chores. Work. So if you read any more and I write any more we might end up at your house for the holiday's. No work, no money. No money, no peace. No Peace, no purpose. No purpose, no reason. No reason, no life. No life, no fun!
Twelve - 18 - O'Seven
We went Christmas shopping tonight. We just finished wrapping presents and it is late. I tell myself I want to be the first person in the office, but I stay up too late and it wears on me in the morning. I wake at 8:30 AM, considerably later then most but that's my time. I try to get to work by 10:00 AM. Why I'm writing instead of sleeping is questionable.
We check into the hospital on Wednesday. If her counts work out then we are hospitalized. We will be in for Christmas more then likely. If by chance we don't add up we will check in on the day after Christmas. It is that time that I start to get anxious, restless, and irritated. I hate the pre-treatment worries. I can feel the pain coming.
I was shopping and thinking how this Christmas is so special and different. Our focus is on the cancer but we appreciate the Holidays more then ever. If I told you that I hadn't thought about the facts of this disease or the fragile dynamics of our life I would be lying. I sometimes think, more then ever, that it is possible to lose a family member. It could happen to any of us. I never gave it thought before. I never ever gave it thought. I moaned about the expenditures of the season. Now I moan from the pain of this thought.
I guess I never questioned mortality before. I was shopping and thought of all our roommates on the fourth floor at CMH. Some of us will be shopping this year and others will be mourning next year. Scary stuff when it deals with the children. Think about it, we are in a position of losing a child. We have cancer. We have disease. We have statistics. We have hope.
I'm not supposed to write anything that is negative. I write about my feelings but it can never reference anything bad. I'm not thinking bad. I just have to tell you my perspective on things. We will be fine. But the reality is that we have something very bad and unpredictable. We will be fine but when I think of cancer, child, Quijas and the combination of any of those words is heavy. Love your family my friends.
If any one says " he shouldn't write any thing other then Rainbows and Butterflies" then I would say, "try to imagine spending Christmas in CMH. Try to imagine a doctor telling you that high potassium levels can stop a heart. Try to image holding your child as they get violently sick. Try to imagine the sleepless nights you would have worrying about the cancer reoccurring." We are fine and we are going to be fine. It's late and I'm starting to babble. Good night. We have a teammate down, but not out.
We check into the hospital on Wednesday. If her counts work out then we are hospitalized. We will be in for Christmas more then likely. If by chance we don't add up we will check in on the day after Christmas. It is that time that I start to get anxious, restless, and irritated. I hate the pre-treatment worries. I can feel the pain coming.
I was shopping and thinking how this Christmas is so special and different. Our focus is on the cancer but we appreciate the Holidays more then ever. If I told you that I hadn't thought about the facts of this disease or the fragile dynamics of our life I would be lying. I sometimes think, more then ever, that it is possible to lose a family member. It could happen to any of us. I never gave it thought before. I never ever gave it thought. I moaned about the expenditures of the season. Now I moan from the pain of this thought.
I guess I never questioned mortality before. I was shopping and thought of all our roommates on the fourth floor at CMH. Some of us will be shopping this year and others will be mourning next year. Scary stuff when it deals with the children. Think about it, we are in a position of losing a child. We have cancer. We have disease. We have statistics. We have hope.
I'm not supposed to write anything that is negative. I write about my feelings but it can never reference anything bad. I'm not thinking bad. I just have to tell you my perspective on things. We will be fine. But the reality is that we have something very bad and unpredictable. We will be fine but when I think of cancer, child, Quijas and the combination of any of those words is heavy. Love your family my friends.
If any one says " he shouldn't write any thing other then Rainbows and Butterflies" then I would say, "try to imagine spending Christmas in CMH. Try to imagine a doctor telling you that high potassium levels can stop a heart. Try to image holding your child as they get violently sick. Try to imagine the sleepless nights you would have worrying about the cancer reoccurring." We are fine and we are going to be fine. It's late and I'm starting to babble. Good night. We have a teammate down, but not out.
Monday, December 17, 2007
Be My Guest...
I'm finding that there is a common denominator between all of us who are fighting sickness, disease, and stress. This bond includes immediate family, extended family, and friends. We are hit with the reality that sickness has creeped up and invaded our family or someone in our circle. We went from the it won't happen clan to the how could this happen stand.
It's the immediate family that I start to see the changes in. I can only speak of us who have kids fighting. We talk about blessings and silver linings. We talk about the love and the appreciation. This event has opened our eyes to fact that we are a statistic. The day we were told, it put us in the category. The cancer category.
I'm not normal and I think most of you know it. I write and carry on about this certain situation we are dealing with. I think aloud. I write it out and I'm all over the place at times. How many people would do or say what I do. Well I'll tell you why I do these things, but let me share a story first. When I was at the benefit for Bailee the other night we got into a conversation about insurance. Someone was talking about a young man 22 yrs. old who was attending college when he got sick. He wasn't able to attend school any longer because of his illness so he wasn't covered under his parents insurance policy any longer. When he was cancelled he was no longer welcomed at the Children's Hospital. You might say, well he is too old to be there but he was there receiving treatment, the best treatment, until the TECHNICALITY conveniently worked into the battle. He was discharged and had to seek treatment else where. Devastation. Those parents are selling everything they own to get him to Houston for life saving treatments. A move to save their son.
I'm one that likes to think a head. If we were in need of a transplant and it was deemed experimental or if our insurance was to run out, I would find a way to pay for it. I WOULD WRITE A BOOK, I WOULD SELL A TV CHANNEL, I WOULD WRITE, PRODUCE, AND DIRECT A MOVIE, I WOULD FIND SOME TALENTED SINGERS AND RECORD A TOP TEN SONG, I WOULD INVENT A PRODUCT THAT EVERY HOUSEHOLD IN AMERICA WOULD NEED OR WANT. That's my mind set and that's why I do what I do.
This blog is back up. It was started so no one would forget Kaylee. I wasn't sure what direction we were heading. I made it a point to get Kaylee out there. As I wrote I realized that I'm putting together our story. Besides helping me vent, besides helping me with the evaluation of the day and our direction, it could possibly sell and help us! That works for me. If it works for me then it's OK, right? Well I like writing and I enjoy reading what I write after I write it. That's strong stuff. Not my writing but actually getting to read my writings from yesterday, last week, or six months ago. The blog.
Well I'm going to continue utilizing this outlet and I'm going to write what I want. If I'm a little soft and if you could do this better then I apologize. You can take our place and you can show us how to react, how to respond, and how to fight this with dignity. Be my guest. My blog and my plan B.
It's the immediate family that I start to see the changes in. I can only speak of us who have kids fighting. We talk about blessings and silver linings. We talk about the love and the appreciation. This event has opened our eyes to fact that we are a statistic. The day we were told, it put us in the category. The cancer category.
I'm not normal and I think most of you know it. I write and carry on about this certain situation we are dealing with. I think aloud. I write it out and I'm all over the place at times. How many people would do or say what I do. Well I'll tell you why I do these things, but let me share a story first. When I was at the benefit for Bailee the other night we got into a conversation about insurance. Someone was talking about a young man 22 yrs. old who was attending college when he got sick. He wasn't able to attend school any longer because of his illness so he wasn't covered under his parents insurance policy any longer. When he was cancelled he was no longer welcomed at the Children's Hospital. You might say, well he is too old to be there but he was there receiving treatment, the best treatment, until the TECHNICALITY conveniently worked into the battle. He was discharged and had to seek treatment else where. Devastation. Those parents are selling everything they own to get him to Houston for life saving treatments. A move to save their son.
I'm one that likes to think a head. If we were in need of a transplant and it was deemed experimental or if our insurance was to run out, I would find a way to pay for it. I WOULD WRITE A BOOK, I WOULD SELL A TV CHANNEL, I WOULD WRITE, PRODUCE, AND DIRECT A MOVIE, I WOULD FIND SOME TALENTED SINGERS AND RECORD A TOP TEN SONG, I WOULD INVENT A PRODUCT THAT EVERY HOUSEHOLD IN AMERICA WOULD NEED OR WANT. That's my mind set and that's why I do what I do.
This blog is back up. It was started so no one would forget Kaylee. I wasn't sure what direction we were heading. I made it a point to get Kaylee out there. As I wrote I realized that I'm putting together our story. Besides helping me vent, besides helping me with the evaluation of the day and our direction, it could possibly sell and help us! That works for me. If it works for me then it's OK, right? Well I like writing and I enjoy reading what I write after I write it. That's strong stuff. Not my writing but actually getting to read my writings from yesterday, last week, or six months ago. The blog.
Well I'm going to continue utilizing this outlet and I'm going to write what I want. If I'm a little soft and if you could do this better then I apologize. You can take our place and you can show us how to react, how to respond, and how to fight this with dignity. Be my guest. My blog and my plan B.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Company Along the Way...
Our dinner with Bailee was great. They had a full house and the dinner was fabulous. We had an Italian spread and we had great conversation. The guest speaker was an inspiration.
I am so proud of Bailee and her strength. She always has a smile and is always up for a conversation. I look at her and admire her candid talks. When the doctor told her and the family of her diagnosis, her dad said she looked at the doctor and said "what are my odds?" Incredibly brave and wise. I like her. No, I love her.
That sounds strange to write but I can't tell you how important she is to our family. Kaylee and her were diagnosed about the same time. Kaylee has her to talk to. We visit each others room's when we are in the hospital. The girls talk medicine and procedures. They are the one's doing this thing and what better to have someone walk with you who's going through the same thing.
We have a lot in common with her parents. Ed woods attended the same high school as me and Tammie. Shawnee Mission North. Jill, Bailee's mom, is incredible. She is taking care of business with Bailee and she's always by her side. This disease is an inconvenience for us all.
I had a chance to sit and eat dinner with Bailee's Grandma, Grandpa, and Aunt. We talked and it was nice. We are so connected that it sucks. We have little one's that we love fighting an ugly thing called cancer. Well, we will get through this and we will have life long friends. It is a path we didn't choose but we'll walk it. We just happened to find company along the way.
I am so proud of Bailee and her strength. She always has a smile and is always up for a conversation. I look at her and admire her candid talks. When the doctor told her and the family of her diagnosis, her dad said she looked at the doctor and said "what are my odds?" Incredibly brave and wise. I like her. No, I love her.
That sounds strange to write but I can't tell you how important she is to our family. Kaylee and her were diagnosed about the same time. Kaylee has her to talk to. We visit each others room's when we are in the hospital. The girls talk medicine and procedures. They are the one's doing this thing and what better to have someone walk with you who's going through the same thing.
We have a lot in common with her parents. Ed woods attended the same high school as me and Tammie. Shawnee Mission North. Jill, Bailee's mom, is incredible. She is taking care of business with Bailee and she's always by her side. This disease is an inconvenience for us all.
I had a chance to sit and eat dinner with Bailee's Grandma, Grandpa, and Aunt. We talked and it was nice. We are so connected that it sucks. We have little one's that we love fighting an ugly thing called cancer. Well, we will get through this and we will have life long friends. It is a path we didn't choose but we'll walk it. We just happened to find company along the way.
Saturday, December 15, 2007
A Friend in the Woods...
My title to this blog is misleading. I have a friend in the Woods and it is Ed, Jill, Courtney, Ashley, and
Bailee Woods. They're our family battling leukemia in Lee's Summit with us. I write confusing sometimes and I apologize. Bailee Woods is 15 yrs. old and boxing this thing we call leukemia. We are in her corner and they're in our corner.
Tonight we are going to a dinner in honor of Bailee. It starts tonight at 7:00 PM and it is exciting to have somewhere to go as a family. The event makes going out extra, extra special. We have so much in common - where we live, the age of our girls, and our all to familiar surroundings on 4-H CMH. We are friends with the Woods and it goes way deeper then any extra curriculum you've ever been involved in. We are fighting this thing called cancer.
When you experience this element of life it is hard to describe. Words sometimes can't paint the picture. Only someone else going through it knows. Take my word. So we have our common bond and I'm sure it is a bond you'd like to keep your distance from. But to have that partner who can relate is priceless. So what else can I say?
I'll give you an update on how the dinner went and how our night was. Maybe a photo or two. I hope I can show you our friends and a snapshot of our two beautiful girls. I hope your night goes well and you drive safe if you drive at all.
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