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Hello! It's been awhile since I've written a blog or even looked at the blog. My daughter Kaylee is doing great. She just completed her first semester and she is loving it. Although she has to see her Oncologists on a scheduled timetable the trips are far less as frequent as they use to be. When she goes it is to check her blood and immune system. I wish I could tell you more about it but I can't because I'm not the medical guru I should be.

Kaylee's body was damaged during the chemo and steroid cycles. The steroids and chemo affected/destroyed her cartilage, tendons, and ligaments in her shoulders and ankles. The hips might be damaged as well but the true pain is in her shoulders. We recently found a great doctor who is trying everything in the book to save Kay from having shoulder replacement surgery. The fact that she is so young is troubling because the surgery only lasts 10 - 20 years which means she'll have more than a few in her lifetime.

I looked at the blog today and thought to myself how things change. When I started this thing I was such a mess. Sadness dominated my day and the thought of loss, loss of my daughter, paralyzed me. Today is totally different. My thoughts and worries have drifted away from sickness and the roller coaster ride it brings, to other things. Some of you might have the perfect life and if you do I applaud you, but for me it seems that there's always something that I'm having to deal with that I don't want to. Nothing is comparable to the battle my kid had to fight with cancer but there are things that seem to inflict just the same.

When I lived in San Diego I would fall asleep looking out the window on my side of the bed. The view has absolutely beautiful. Our home sat in a canyon and you could see across the other side and it appeared as if there were a mountain ridge an arm reach away. If the moon was out it was as if you were looking at a postcard picture. I sometimes recognized the beauty but more times than not - I didn't. My mind was always racing with events that had transpired during the day, upcoming obligations, or whatever else I could find. I write about it today, because just like that window, there are beautiful things around me that I don't take the time to notice because I am too focused on other things in my life. And just like that window, it isn't until months or years later that I realize what I had in front of me.

I tell myself time and time again to slow down and enjoy the moment but for some reason I find it hard to do. I don't think I do it intentionally, it's just the way I'm programmed. I rush, rush, rush, for no apparent reason. Raising my children I truly appreciated all the moments not while they were happening but years later. I'm a three year guy. It takes me three years to recognize the beauty that I had in front of me. Why I'm writing this I have no idea, but I'm guessing that its because I've let too many things slide by and I'm not going to do it anymore.

Life is too short to be miserable. Negativity and ugliness in your life can be replaced with good positive things. Don't be a three year man or woman. Enjoy today and all that it brings. If something brings you down or if you find it is rotten, cut it off. Life goes too quickly and it's too easy to settle for things that aren't healthy. Take my advice and recognize the beauty that is in front of you while it is there. If you find beauty in a window while you lay down to sleep then enjoy the million dollar view and appreciate it because you never know when the scenery might change.

ACT TWO

My beautiful daughter, Kaylee, is 18 yrs. old now and attending NW Missouri State. It's her Freshman year. The name fits appropriately because it's a fresh start for her. The thought was always there but when her school didn't submit her picture in the yearbook it sealed it for me. She needs a fresh start.

Tonight I picked her up at school in Maryville, MO for her appointments and commitments she has with Children's Mercy Hospital tomorrow. It was my first time there because when she moved a few weeks ago I was in a wheelchair and it was 100 degrees and I would have been in the way. If you didn't hear I was attacked on April 25th at a bar by several young men and was left with a broken arm and leg. I was in St. Luke's for nearly 30 days and acquired blood clots during my nice stay. Oh, I also was in bed for nearly four months but that's a different blog and old news.

Kaylee's room is cozy and Tammie made it very comfortable. Kaylee is roommates with her best friend Alyssa. Her friends Amanda and Halley are three doors down from them as well. Kaylee looked so grown-up when she came down to let me and Tam in her dorm. The ride wasn't bad and when she was with us going home it felt really nice. I miss her madly but I don't call her much. It's not that I don't want to call but I find it easier to not get caught up calling and pestering. I think she's known me long enough to know that it's my way of letting her go into the big world without me.

It's amazing how everything moves. People grow and change and their scenery changes too. I have been a few places and have come across many different people because I too branched out. I first left at 19 yrs. of age for California. I lived in San Diego with several guys from KC. It was so fun. I tried college for a couple semesters but it was never my thing. I wish I had a degree right now especially since my livelihood relies on me to hustle a buck to feed my family. I wonder what it would be like to go to work and collect money from someone else besides myself. This last few months have been a challenge. I've been laid up and it seems like one set back after another.

I've decided to write again. This time I'm going to do it because the release I received last time from my writing was very healthy but it won't be for survival this time around or to get me through the day. This time it will be because I can use the release again but not necessarily for survival but for the therapeutic adjustments it produce within myself. This time it won't be so much about Kaylee but about me and my travels. I am at a crossroad in my life personally and how it unfolds is going to be interesting. At least to me and those around me who depend on me. For some reason I lost myself over the course of the last few years and I need to regroup. It might work out or there's a good possibility that I might fall on my face. I really can't afford to fall on my face right now so I have to get busy and take control of the reigns of my life and succeed at whatever I do.

I have been in advertising for sometime now and I just dropped that from my new business plan. I am going to concentrate on networks, the assembly of networks, and new products. The effort and time it takes to sell ads is just to demanding and took control of my life. Do good and you're a hero, sell nothing and you're a zero. I want to create and make money and put people to work. The advertising world is made up of people who aren't like me. I conformed to that instead of going in the direction I wanted to because it paid the bills. Like one of my partners once said, "you shouldn't be in the ad biz if you don't want to sell ads" and he was right. As a matter of fact so many people were right and I turned into the person that wasn't me. But into the person that I thought everyone else wanted me to be. Not sure if that sounds right but it makes sense to me. I had people invest in me because I was creative then all of a sudden I was suppose to shelf this creative person and turn into an Advertising Executive. Not me. I am going to sell but its going to be products and services and everyone else can do the selling of advertising to fuel the machine but it won't be me!

No prom no problem

Kaylee got her prom dress a couple weeks ago. It's a pretty mint green fancy thing. Her shoes matched and her hair appointment was scheduled. Tonight she cried and said she isn't going because she doesn't feel like she looks pretty. It hurt. I said she can do whatever she wants. We told her she's beautiful but she said everyone is tanning and she feels like she's pasty and pale. Kaylee cried and to see your kid cry because of something out of her control is heartbreaking.

I am for whatever she wants. If she wants to sleep, let her sleep. If she wants to eat, eat. If she wants to sit out prom, sit it out! We agreed with her that next year will be a good year if she wants to go. No worries. I think sometimes you forget about other people's feelings. I never knew Kaylee had worries about skin color or anything like that but she does. So will be fine and she would have looked nice. I feel bad that she feels bad but she'll be fine and next year's prom will be here before we know it.

A Mother...

Tonight I talked with a friend from high school who is battling cancer, breast cancer. I've known of her sickness for some time but stayed away from the situation. Tonight I couldn't help but get emotionally touched by the story.

I called to check in with the family and found out that the cancer had spread to the kidneys. I also found out that their only car was taken away from them for registration problems. It was apparent that she was trying to keep a positive voice about it but I heard her break for just a moment. It was then that I thought of my mother.

My mom is a cancer survivor. She was young and a single mother when sickness came knocking. I can hardly think about the fear she must of felt. My mom. For some reason when I was talking to my friend my mother's voice was on the other line. It wasn't really but for a moment I pictured my mother talking to some man, maybe someone like me who might be able to help and it affected me. What if that was my mom 40 years ago?

I say that because I wonder if my mom needed help way back when. If she did, was there anyone in particular that she thought might be able to help. Would she ask? Did she ask? Well my friend didn't ask but I offered to throw it out there to see if someone I know might be able to help the family with a car. For months now I never offered anything to the family. My hands were full with my own projects. I help sick kids and families with sick kids. It's my passion to ease the burden, if just a bit, for families with sick kids. But tonight it dawned on me that this friend, this mother, is a daughter of someone. She has to worry about her kids and how the sickness is affecting them. Her burden or her fright has to be overwhelming.

I cried. I called my mom and cried. It hit me hard that this friend may pass away and how shitty is it that you would have to spend any time worrying about transportation. But that is their reality and their burden combined with cancer. I hate to see it but if I can put the word out and help in any manner then maybe just maybe some of their worry might be relieved. Please help this family if you can and consider that this could be your daughter, your sister, or even your mom!

Saving Santos...

I am pleased to announce that Santos Arreola made it to Arizona for his new round of treatments. The facility specializes in alternative care and Santos needs to raise money to pay for the scheduled treatments. I am posting the info for his fund in this post and I ask everyone who follows my blog to please contribute to his fund. I went to a CPA Wednesday to get the fund transferred from a charity fund to a foundation so it can have tax benefits for those who are looking for the write off. But until that happens please help this child and mother.

If it was me I don't know what I would do. I probably would consider cruising in a convertible with a bull horn so I could get every one's attention. If you have never battled sickness in your child then I can't begin to explain the fright, scare, and helplessness one feels. You can't really grasp the feeling of not understanding why everyone isn't fundraising for your kid because you personally love your child more than life itself. That didn't come out grammatically correct but you know what I mean.

Derek Fisher, a Los Angeles Laker, was informed that his daughter had eye cancer. It made breaking news, front page of the paper, and several talk shows. I couldn't understand why his child got a ticker tape on the bottom of every major channel and my daughter barely made the paper. Sure I know Derek is famous but that didn't matter to me. My kid is just important. This was the attitude I had at the time. Today I know that there is a method to the madness. It's getting your story in front of people. This is where I come in.

I will fight to get a child in the public. I will do it with phone calls, I will do it face to face, or I'll do it with emails. So if it seems like I'm always selling myself - it's because I am! I want people to answer my calls. I want people to know about the special kids I get the opportunity to meet. It is a blessing to see first hand the fight so many families face because it motivates you to do something.

So tonight I ask you to join my fight for Santos Arreola. Put yourself in his mother's place tonight and think how hard it would be for you and your family. Contribute to the saving Santos fund!

Check out his Mother's blog http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/santosarreola

Industrial State Bank

Att: Santos Arreola Treatment Fund

Account # 130000794872

P.O Box 6007

Kansas City, KS 66106

American Idol

I cry every time I watch AI! I'm not sure why but I have my suspicions! I think it's because I keep thinking that these kids are children of someone. Sounds strange but when I hear someone with a great voice I feel a sense of - Pride. Crazy but I think how proud I would be if it was my kid. I get emotional hearing a good voice, what can I say.

When I see someone cry I want to cry. When I see someone do good I want to cheer. I love to see people succeed. I sometimes don't get why everyone is not that way. Seriously, I want everyone to do good. To see someone try and change, to see someone become passionate, to see someone find their thing makes me feel good. So I guess that is why I am weak for a good voice. A good voice is usually a sign of practice and passion. I sing in the car and shower but would never attempt to do it in public. So if someone does break out in song it usually signifies that someone has practiced on their pitch and I applaud that! Usually.

Please read my story that came out today in the Lee's Summit Journal. One-80 by Michael Quijas http://www.lsjournal.com/100/story/23639.html

Santos Arreola

My name is Michael Quijas. You may know me, you may of heard of me, or you may have just stumbled upon my blog by mistake but here I am. Tonight and this weekend I have a big decision to make. There's not much thought into the decision but still I've decided to think long and hard about this decision. Confused? Let me explain.

There's a beautiful little boy and his name is Santos. Santos Christian Arreola age 5. You may have read his story on Christmas Day on the front page of the Kansas City Star http://www.kansascity.com/105/story/951848.html . He has been fighting a brain tumor but things have taken a turn for the worst. They say Santos will not be here next year at this time due to the fact that the treatments aren't working. Doctors recommend halting all treatments and letting the little man enjoy his time. As the professionals say - quality of life versus quantity. Tough stuff.

Santos' Mother is Leticia Garcia. Leticia is a single mother living at home with her parents. Her demeanor or composure is always cool and collected. She is my friend. I met the mother and son while Kaylee was admitted in CMH. Santos was recovering from a Bone Marrow Transplant and Kaylee was fighting her battle. We talked briefly but it wasn't until April or May when we met again for the Alex's Lemonade commercial. I recruited children for the commercial and one of those recruits were Santos. He enjoyed his time in front of the camera and his time on the field!

Leticia has to make some quick decisions. First she has to figure out what else can be done. Where else can she go. Are there any alternative treatments worth pursuing. Leticia needs to find money. She needs someone to tell her story. She needs a loud voice. That's where I come in.

I'm still exhausted from the Kerry Magana fight. The heartbreak of losing Kerry is also tough. I have to dig deep to find the energy to start the Santos Arreola Campaign. The thing that motivates me is the fact that I know I could be of help to the Garcia family. I know I could organize, recruit, and get exposure for the fundraising. We will need to raise a lot of money immediately so Leticia can pursue treatments elsewhere.

The Kerry Magana fight was a political fight. It was a red tape battle and we succeeded. We also succeeded at finding a donor during the Bone Marrow Drive. But this new battle will be different. It will be raising money and raising money quickly. This thing called cancer will not wait for good intentions or promises so I need to get going quickly. I only hope that I can produce the results needed.

I was going to accept an invitation for the Man of the Year Event for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society but it looks like I might have to decline. This year I might have to focus all my energy on Santos. I need to help save his life. If the tables were turned I would do anything to save my kid. Seriously. I would beg, plead, promise, and cry to anyone if I thought that it would help my child. I would want anyone and everyone in my corner. So I might have to put my self-promotion campaign for the LLS on the back burner so I can get to work on this new campaign for life!

Thanks again...

It feels like months since my last entry. I hope life is treating you and yours well. Nothing to complain about here. We are trying to get back to normal after a long break. Kaylee rejoined her classmates at school this week. Kaylee said everyone in her classes were glad to see her.

I can tell Kaylee is troubled that she has so many commitments and obligations with this disease. She isn't able to join her girl friends to parties. She has to take chemo nightly and she has to be accountable for the meds. Kaylee isn't able to disappear with friends like she used to and I think that affects her friendships. She is home a lot and I feel for her.

When this all started I rationalized why Kaylee may have been stricken with cancer. I thought maybe God gave it to Kaylee so she might be spared from a tragic car wreck. Since Kaylee is home more days and nights because of the disease than an average teenager it might lower the odds of her being in a car where there's underage drinking. It might lower her chances of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Since time has passed now, it is harder to rationalize the disease. We watch our little girl spectate from the sidelines on most days and it hurts a little.

The saying is "it is what it is" and I agree but sometimes you wish this was happening to someone else besides your child. Kaylee never complains and I respect her for that. We are just about 10 months away from the end of our treatments and we are grateful that time has flown by.

I want to thank everyone for the kind words, gracious acts of kindness, and for all the prayers!

One-80

I need your help today. Please go to http://www.myfirst180.com/ and purchase my ebook for $12.00. This money is going to help with 10 Kids Insured, The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, and all the other charitable work that seems to find me. Please help me announce this exciting news to everyone you know. I feel comfortable saying "you never know when you might need a helping hand too."

Irons, Fires, and Trust...

I'm bored! This weather has created "cabin fever" for me. I want to do something. Most days I have places to be but today I didn't attempt to travel or venture far from home. I was on the computer for most of the day due to the weather. I am going crazy. We have one car because the other two are rear wheel drive, which means I have to stick close to home because I have one kid at a friend's house and another one with a friend here who'll want a ride home soon. Good job on purchasing cars that you can't drive in the snow!

Probably best that I stay close to home because this weather is uuuuuugly! I have no where to go anyway. This economy is a killer. I deal with all sorts of businesses out in the community and there's hardly any who haven't been hurt. Including mine. Luckily I'm a natural hustler and have more "irons in the fire" then most so I won't let this economy hurt me. But advertising in general is on hard times.

It's hard to imagine that there are people out there who don't have to worry about money. I worked for several people in San Diego who were Trust Fund Babies. They had millions and money was never an issue. They had other problems but money wasn't one of them. If you could take that money load off of me I would figure out the rest, believe me. I have to deal with the other shit any ways, so excluding money from the equation would just make things easier. I mention money every once in awhile because I do my own thing. It is such a sweet feeling when you get past the point of dreaming working for your self and actually do it, but then the reality of making your own paycheck on a consistent basis regardless of economy or sickness is scary.

I don't get scared too often because I have faith in me. If I ever lose that then everyone around me should get nervous. I often have to worry about daily dilemmas but seldom ever worry about where I'm going or where I'll end up! I visualize success. Please know that my vision of success isn't just about money. Although that is number one for me, money, so I can do great things in the community and world. I want to be able to have an engine, if you can call it that, that can fund all my endeavors. Each day that's why I get up, so I can add to my little empire.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, digital applications is and will be a technology goldmine! If a company like mine can implement applications with digital screens like no other then the world is yours. I have digital mannequins, digital full video belt buckles, digital name tags, and various other retail fixtures debuting soon. They are going to rock the digital world, mark my words. So if you have an extra million just send it over! :0)

Goodnight and keep warm.

"Friends are God's way of taking care of us."

Kaylee was at CMH today getting her blood work and counts taken. All chemo had been suspended for the last week or so to see were she stood on her health before they continue pumping her with that poison they call chemo. Sickness over took her last week so the doctors wanted her to get some rest. She is doing fine on her immune system and blood so the bombarding restarts tonight! The chemo has to continue for one more year 10/10/09 to follow the protocol she is on. We follow the rules and advice to ensure the treatments will work and eventually make my daughter cancer free for the rest of her life.

I was in Lawrence this afternoon. InAd TV is going to launch there and I'm pretty excited. We have had offers from across the country to enter different markets but I think Lawrence is a good choice. It is close to home and easy to enter the market because most venues know what my business is and what it does. I am also going to work with a major media group there and feel the fit is perfect. Keep your fingers crossed for my family and for my business.


Well I am comfortable to night and I'm having fun with this Facebook thing. Please add me to your friends michael@inadtv.com if you do it. I can't believe the friends that I'm reuniting with through this service. Incredible.

I want to comment on a profile that I came across. Her name is Deanna Ziegler of Kansas City. I know Deanna and I am related to her ex-husband through marriage. I look at her pictures and it is so apparent that all her gang of friends love each other. I saw her out one night and there she had 10 of her friends with her. Now let me make this clear, I can run with 10 guys but it isn't the same. This group is friends, husbands and wives, and even ex-husbands. It makes me envious, although the word is better replaced with admire, but I look at their friendship and think how valuable that bond is. Why I'm saying this is simple. You can have money, you can have the best looks, but you can't just have valuable friendships. Great friendships take some sort of investment, substance, or work. My hat goes off to you Deanna because you obviously deserve great friends because you must be a great person! Just my little observation.

"Friends are God's way of taking care of us." - Danielle N. Redfield

Shirley Temple

I joined Facebook! Kaylee is embarrassed but I have so many people I've reconnected with that I'm going to stay on it regardless. That site is amazing. It is reconnecting me with so many people I haven't talked to in such a long time. The fun thing for me has been reuniting with people that I lost contact with when I left the KCK school district. Although I love my folks from Shawnee Mission North it is nice to reconnect to your roots.

The people I have connected with look so good and seem to be doing great. As I get older (and wiser?) I sincerely feel good when I know others are doing good. Some people could careless if others are doing good, but I love to hear when life is treating others well. I guess I think we all deserve a good life.

Life is what you make of it. Last night I had to go to the hospital to visit a friend, a family member, Paul Vega. He was assaulted at a nightclub Thursday and was hurt severely. His head was fractured and his nose was broken. Paul is the toughest man I know and it goes to show you don't always win every battle. But when I was there I observed his gown, his hospital issued booty's, and his swollen face. I couldn't help but think that he is only human and didn't deserve the hurt he received. Tammie told me to take a good look at him and consider what could happen if you put yourself in the wrong situation. I did. Although it was a random attack it was just being there that led to his admission into ICU.

After leaving there I was suppose to meet a few guys out for some drinks but I went home instead. What happened to Paul could happen to me. It never fails that every time I go out someone always brings up how tough I was as a kid. This usually begins with someone mentioning it to me and whatever group I'm with. Then they point it out to others I don't know. Well you never know who wants to see if you still have it. I suspect that's what may have happened to Paul. I even have guys with me that will start trouble just knowing I'm there. Little do most of them know that it breaks my heart to think of anyone having to spend one night in the hospital. Especially if it was me!

Almost all of us have people that love us. I have kids, a wife, a mother, sisters, all of whom would be devastated if I was to get hurt. It wouldn't matter how I got hurt they would be heartbroken. I watched Paul's kids cry as their father lay there unrecognizable from his injuries. I looked at those same injuries and couldn't help but think how fragile our existence is. Tough to think how injury, sickness, or death can hurt and heartbreak a family.

It was sometime back that I was mad that Kaylee had gotten sick. The anger was there and Tammie was scared when I would go out. She worried that it might set me off if I was out and someone did something to trigger it. I would tell her she was crazy and continue to get dressed. But she was right. Drinking and socializing in places with strangers can be dangerous if you come across the wrong person. Hell, it could be me who could hurt someone. How ironic would that be. Me, so in tune with hurt and heartbreak and I accidentally hurt someone. That would be my luck. My irresponsible actions would place a kid, a wife, mother and sisters next to some poor guy in a hospital bed.

So from this point forward I'm drinking Shirley Temples and hanging out at the local Chuck E Cheese! Well maybe not the Chuck E Cheese but you get the point.

Home Alone...

Kaylee was admitted into the hospital tonight. Kay has been sick the last two days and the doctors want to observe her for the next few days because her immune and blood levels have dropped significantly.

It has been almost a year since we've had to spend the night at CMH. I had almost forgot Kaylee had cancer. She does chemo and the visits are once a month now. I feel bad she has to endure admissions and needles. It would be so traumatic for anyone but it makes you feel terrible when it's your kid. I think she's in a great place considering she does have cancer.

I took Kaylee to the emergency room tonight because her fever reached 103 degrees. It was amazing how quickly the staff checked Kaylee into the ER. They expedited Kaylee so smoothly and fast I felt very good about the quick response. The ER is not where you want your kid if they're missing an immune system. We get a clean room or a sanitized environment but being there is risky. We didn't have to wait at all.

I stayed up last night until 6:00 am this morning because Kaylee was sick. She only woke up once at 5:30 am and said she was wasn't feeling any better. I got Tammie up and her fever was at 102 but it dropped at 6:30 and the doctors on call said lets wait and see where she goes with the fevers before we take her into CMH. So it wasn't until tonight at 7:30 when I went in and Kaylee felt hot. Her temp was at 103 and that's when we got the go ahead to take her in.

It sounds like I'm all over the sickness but it's Tammie. We do shifts. I'll stay up at night so Tammie can get some sleep. It is her who ends up playing Florence Nightingale when the work needs to be done. It was me that took Kaylee to the ER because if she got checked in, like she did, that's when Tammie's work begins. She stays with Kaylee in the hospital and I relieve her in the morning. It is uncomfortable staying in the hospital. I will get Christian off to school and then I'll make my way to CMH. Tammie will be here when Christian gets off the bus and will get him ready for his big dance tomorrow. This sickness can throw a monkey wrench in anything you have planned. Christian has been excited about this dance and got new clothes for the occasion and a haircut. Christian and Tammie have been getting him ready for his night. Unfortunately Kaylee's sickness will take part of his excitement away. We will be focused on her even though we are going to get him off to his big night. Kaylee's cancer takes precedent over everything.


So tonight I lay here with my girls gone. Hopefully this little bug will pass and we can disappear into the crowd like we have this past year. This cancer sucks and makes you realize that having cancer comes with certain realities. You have to be careful, more so then other people. I'm certain Kaylee knows this is only a speed bump. Sickness is crazy at this time of the year and her being at school means she is exposed to the potential threats of sickness crawling in the halls and that cougher we all hear and see who doesn't cover their mouth. Well that's all I have for tonight.

One last article...

http://www.kchispanicnews.com/images/v12n11/kchnv12n11.pdf

An Egg McMuffin Please...

I had to take both kids to school this morning at 7 o'clock. Kaylee's car is acting up and Bubba missed the bus. I decided last night that I would wake extra early and go to McDonald's for them this morning. A good hot breakfast, especially from McDonald's is a treat every once in awhile.

My son is such a good kid. He smarts off like most teenagers and makes poor decisions at times but he is good. I proudly say that because his heart is so good. His innocence amazes me. Most parents might read that and think I'm naive but I'm not. He is an innocent little man. He'll still hold onto me when he gets scared, as he should. He will cry and wants to be held when he doesn't feel good. He is so different than I was at his age. He is progressing just the way I want him to. He only worries about being a kid.

I've confessed to crying most of the entire last year. But when I was Christian's age I had to be tough. Or at least pretended to be tough. I was at public schools in the inner-city in eighth grade. I thought I knew it all. I'm sure I had the same qualities as Christian but I didn't show them as much. I had to fight, literally fight when I was his age. So I had this whole tough 13 yr-old thing down. Unfortunately, it went on well into my 20's. When I left to go to California in 1996 I hadn't cried in years. I was hardened. I didn't care. I thought life was about getting what was mine and I was content in that thinking. Then the move humbled me. I realized that I wasn't cool and I was just a guy who acted like he had it all together. But it's your family and the people you surround yourself with that make who you are. So if Christian has a good heart and is innocent then we've done good.

Kaylee is a brave one. She goes and endures so much that I'm amazed by her ability to never complain. She get grumpy and her moods alter with the different drugs but she has become a survivor. I think it has hurt at times that her innocence was lost. She had to deal with this or that and most dealt with her mortality. Scary thing to have to confront. At any age! The Kerry Magana thing scared here. She thought she wanted to go to the funeral of her friend and decided she couldn't. Kaylee will never tell you why but Kaylee is afraid of dying too. So hard to write but she's intelligent enough to know that this sickness is wicked and can blow in different directions. I applaud her for being there in mind but not in presence. It was too close to home.

I live in a house where my actions or deeds hardly raise an eyebrow. I sometimes think they think I'm Superman. Maybe they expect great things out of me so they are hardly surprised by anything. I guess that's good to think it's not out of the ordinary for your dad to give to others when he can. I'm sure there are others that wouldn't donate, participate, or obligate to nothing. I choose to help if I can, because God has been good to me for years.

Before I go I have to tell a quick story. Tammie is not much for words. She isn't a sappy girl, clingy, or needy. Tammie never seems to be amazed with me. Again that sounds like she deprives me but she doesn't. She knows when to say "Hey good job" but for her she shows it in different ways. On the day that I gave the speech at the LLS event I saw something out of her that I never have. First I think she was worried that I might lose track, stumble, or collapse. But when I didn't and I kept going on and didn't miss a beat (for the most part) I looked at her and she had the biggest look of pride on her. She kept nodding her head as to say keep going baby. I can't explain how nice it was to have this person who has lived with me through good and sickly bad times feel a sense of honor. I felt like she felt honored. God knows she would have to be dragged on a stage, but to hear me do it I think she felt like it was part of her giving that thing to all those guests. Who knows but that's what I think and I can't think no more!

Kerry's Magana's 15 years in photos

Leaving...

Today Kerry was put to rest. I rested after we came home. I was tired. I told myself I wasn't going to do anything after the funeral. It had tired me. Last night I could not sleep. I had an ache in my stomache. I find other reasons for it, but I think it was, I know it was, all this sickness and the toll it's taken on me. I have no room to talk about the pain and sadness but it hit me. I was involved.

I will probably take a sabatical from writing until the next thing. I usually find something that sparks something in me, but I'm going to take a rest for now. I was honored to be a Pallbearer for Kerry. I had Kaleb Kern from AdAesthetics make the video for the family that played throughout the service. I was impressed with him being there and working this projector for the family. He never met her and yet he did that and also built a websit for her months ago. Kaleb you're alright! Chewy who does my installs drove the family in the limo. He too was an honor to watch at the funeral. He got emotional as he drove the mother, Claudia, from the cemetary. He was crying and I thought what good people. Kaleb, Chewy, and countless others who gave to be giving and for no other reason.

Christina Jasso you are an angel. You handled every arrangement, stayed at the hospital, and pulled money from your own funds to help when it was needed. I learned so much from this. Giving is good. Helping is good. Loving a family that's not yours is good stuff when the love is needed. I was blessed by this, I was blessed today from words from different people. Something inside me matured today. I made a small difference in a famiy's life and I felt good doing it.

I have to end with a observation. I don't know how anyone could leave their child at a cemetary. I know you have to do it but it was the reality. I would never want to leave my child alone. Tammie said it perfect that your body is only a vehicle but I wouldn't want to leave my child's vehicle anywhere. That was the hardest part for me. How hard would it be to drive off and leave that child you've loved. It was tough to watch.

The hardest thing...

I went to the funeral home yesterday to make arraingements for Kerry's burial Monday. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. Claudia collapsed on the way in. She cried and sobbed, prayed and yelled. I tried to be strong but I cried a couple times.

It was me, Christina Jasso, and Claudia. We got everything handled. I didn't do much but I was there. I feel blessed that Claudia had me and Chrstina with her. Claudia had me and Chrstina. What would she have done if we weren't there? Scary. The fact that the funeral plans were for a 15 yr-old hurt. I know that most other parents, especially one's with children fighting leukemia, wouldn't have traveled to the funeral home. I know because I've had several people ask me what I'm doing. Well I'll explain it again, Cluadia had no one there besides me and Christina. If I hadn't of went then it would have been just Christina. Christina was introduced to Claudia through me. So tell me what would you have done? It was hard for me but something I had to do.

I hope some of you will go to the funeral. Kerry was tough and it was an honor knowing her. Please come if you can from 9-11 Monday at

Bales Baptist Church
3414 E. 12th St.
Kansas City, MO

My connection...

I've explained it before but I'll do it again for anyone who may have missed out on how I became part of Kerry Magana's life. My daughter and all of us first met Kerry while we were in for our first admission at CMH. I liked Kerry immediately. Kerry had her hair growing back and it was all stubble. So I never wanted to look at her in case she thought I was starring. It turns out she could careless and often told Kaylee that losing her hair wouldn't be as bad as she might think. Kerry talked with Kay and it made me feel good. Kerry and Kaylee are around the same age.

I was still threatened by the disease so I didn't really care to meet Kerry's family. I wanted to stay away from all ill kids just in case they were to die. So that's what I did. I kept my distance. In January I heard Kerry relapsed and I saw her in clinic. She was there by herself. She had taken the bus to CMH. I thought about Kaylee and how things were so different for the two girls. Kaylee had two parents and Kerry with only one. Things are tough for a two family household, I couldn't imagine one parent trying to get everything done.


Claudia, Kerry's mom, would arrive at the end of the day to sign off on the treatments. When we were in clinic, I asked Kerry how she was getting the info out for her Bone Marrow Drive. She told me she was walking to restaurants and posting her flier, if they would let her, in the windows of establishments. Retail, restaurants, anyone. That's what grabbed me.

This child was pounding the pavement to save her little life. She was a fighter. I immediately got involved. I with the help of Carole Damon emailed, called, and orchestrated a blitz. I called the Hispanic newspapers, radio stations, and TV affiliates. We were going to find this kid a match. Joe Arce from the KC Hispanic News publication came and did a story on the day of the drive. The weather was terrible. The turn out was so so. It was icing and snowing. The efforts turned up a donor. I'm not certain if it came from the registry or the drive itself. But there was a match. Not a perfect match but a match.

I was done. So I thought. One day I was in clinic and Claudia and Kerry were there. We were in the GI department waiting for our girls to get released from being put under for a procedure. It was there that Claudia looked at me and said "I need help." I had already helped in the bone marrow drive, but never said two words to Claudia. I did once when I called their house to tell them they would be on air at a radio station in Argentine,KS. I felt like a fruit cake calling this little girl at home so I explained to the mom why I was calling. That was it as far as communication with mom.

Kerry at this time looked so different. She was sick. Her bone marrow transplant was planed for April or May but was postponed because of the relapse issue. When her mom told me she needed me to help with the visa I was all in. I called my partner Zach Lund who is an attorney. He told me to call Mike Talbot a State Rep. Mike told me to call Emanual Cleaver's office, and then I called the Guadalupe Center. That's were I met Christina Jasso of the Guadalupe Center. Together we started pestering, stalking, and harassing anyone who might be able to help. Joe Arce became involved again and we started to get momentum. I called Sarah Visomirski at KCTV 5 and she sent an email to Maria Antonia. Mary Sanchez with the KC Star was next. The exposure helped.

I donated a car to the family. It wasn't pretty but it was wheels. When I announced to the family that I was giving it to them so they could eliminate the bus, Kerry asked "is it an 6 or 8 cylinder?" I was shocked. She said "because gas is real expensive for a 8 cylinders." Kerry was looking out for her mom. She knew about cars too.

It was an honor to be part of the family and it will stay with me for a life time. I met all sorts of kind people along the way. It was meant to be. I talked to Claudia an hour ago. I told her I was here if she needed anything. She said "I know you are Michael."

The latest story from the Kansas City Star http://www.kansascity.com/276/story/889750.html

KMBC 9 Tribute

Kerry Magana

04-22-1993

11-13-2008

Kerry passed away this morning. She is in a better place this morning. Her body couldn't continue anymore. They called Kerry the butterfly and I think she is flying right now. Most of you know her because I've told you about her but if you would've had the opportunity to meet her you would have been impressed with her. She was beautiful, she was witty, and she was knowledgable about things. She told me one day while we were in Kaylee's room that God wouldn't give her more than she could handle. Kerry was right.




The last time I spoke with Kerry I told her I would throw a party for her. We would do it Latina style. Bands, food, and a fiesta. Her favorite band agreed to play and I was going to ask Fred Cannon at the Uptown Theatre if he would provide the stage. That night there must have been 20 people packed around and Kerry announced to the room "Michael Quijas is going to have a party for me!" That was my last night with her, the last night I talked and hugged her.





I am not sad right now. I feel relief she isn't in pain, on a respirator, or in a coma. She is with God and she is in paradise. I feel for the family but I'm glad grandma is here to help her cope with this horrible loss. Kiss your kids today and hug them tight. Sickness isn't anything we think we are going to have to deal with. It happens to others but I'm here to tell you that it can happen and it does happen. Thank you for the prayers and thank you for listening to me about my friend Kerry Magana.

Pray

Please pray this morning for a friend of mine, please pray for a family, and please pray for a miracle. Kerry Magana needs us today. Her little body is tired and unless something changes today the doctors say they are running out of options. It's in God's hands.

So what...

So what do I do? I am engrossed with wanting to help spread the word about childhood cancer. I am on a crusade to help families struggling with this terrible disease. I feel obligated to do my part. If you've never been included in this fraternity I don't think you would understand. It consumes me. Am I sick?

I confess because I feel that I have a voice that can be heard. If I speak loud enough than others will hear. All this scares Kaylee because she wants to move forward, but I want to ease the pain of anyone who has heard those words - it's cancer. The pain, the fright, the confusion will make you light headed. To hear a group of doctors and nurses tell you professionally that your child might die is numbing. Ask anyone who has heard it and they will tell you the same.

Recently I've been confused. I want to run from the scene when I hear that death is near one of the kids I help but I'm here providing something their parents might need. Support. I too want to distance myself from the reality of this thing, cancer sometimes kills, but I feel inside that I have something in me that can do good for others. My schedule allows me to do more than most, my resources in the community are valuable, and the feeling I get when I give something is internally rewarding. But do I take time off because my association with the disease is too close to home.

I've always been amazed when I come across a person I grew up with who eventually found God. Me personally, I've never lost God so I wasn't really searching for him. But when you see people who say that they had a calling, well then I wonder is this my calling? It might be too late to go to medical school, but this stuff I do is the next best thing. I feel inside that I make a difference. I know I do. But since it scares my daughter is there a balance I should shoot for? I try not to talk about the sickness of kids by Kaylee or Tammie but it is sickness that I spend my time with. So what do you do?

We succeeded on our part...

I am happy to announce that we successfully got Kerry's grandma here Thursday night. Her flight came in around 7:30 pm and the family was brought to tears when they saw her. I can't begin to tell you how happy I was. It was a conclusion to the countless hours of work we put in to get the family the support they needed at the hospital and at home.

"A Girls Night Out Limo" sent a car to pick up the family so they could meet grandma at the airport. Dan Stewart donated his time to drive the car for the family. None of the occupants had ever been in such a vehicle and it was special to see them get there in comfort and style. I was invited to ride but opted to follow in my car. I wanted them to be at ease and at peace.

We also started construction on their kitchen Thursday. To say I started the construction would be an absolute lie, I'm not engineered or skilled to do any kind of construction but found resources to help. Christina Jasso, who has become such an important part of the Magana family, got her husband to do the tile, plumbing, and electrical work. The Jasso's are awesome.

Laton Crane, the owner of Calloway Construction, was kind enough to hang the cabinets at the last minute for me. Ed Woods, an electrician and parent of a cancer survivor, has also agreed to go to the house to hang new lighting fixtures. We just need a person to glue the granite tops and cut a hole for the kitchen sink in the granite. So if any of you know anyone who does that kind of work please let me know. My Thursday was very busy. I rounded up construction crews, gave a speech, and ended my day at the airport. It was one of the most fulfilling days I've ever had.

The kindness from everyone has been rewarding to me. It has renewed my faith in other people. Seriously, I have to say that I would have probably not noticed the kind acts nor would I participate in such kindness if not for the sickness. I feel comfortable to say that I was self absorbed before this illness. In the past I would have given you a ride to the hospital if you needed it but would have driven off at the first opportunity. Today I'd walk you in, wait with you, and make you comfortable! Things have a way of changing you.

I titled this "We succeeded in our part..." now it's left in God's hands. Say a prayer for this tough child.

A chance to say thanks...

Love...

I give the opening speech tomorrow at the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society's National Leadership Conference. There are several hundred people expected to attend and I'm a little nervous. I was going to give a speech about this sickness but I think I'm going to talk about something more dear to me. My new found appreciation for love. That's right, I'm going to talk about love. How I've found renewed love for family, friends, and community since this illness. I figured I could tell everyone about how I advocate for children, work with government officials, donate cars, and insure children without insurance but they probably hear that same thing in every city they attend. I'm going to go deeper than that. I hope I can pull it off.

I am so honored that someone thought of me when they thought of potential speakers for the conference. It is a little scary when I think of the numbers but I'll be fine. I hope I can get these people to fall in love with their families, their work, and lives again. I hope no one ever has to get there by way of sickness!

I was reading my writings from Christmas night and I was so appreciative and comfortable that night that I wrote a speech and swore I would read it if I ever found the stage big enough. I am not going to read it but I want to express that comfort that derived from my love. It was magical my friends. It was the best night I've ever had. Serious. I was at home with my family and we relaxed and recovered from an exhausting hospital stay. We had narrowly escaped the hospital the day before. The relief that came with our beds and the comfort of our own surroundings was incredibly sweet. I can't begin to explain it. If I hadn't experienced the sickness I bet that appreciation might not have been there. I might have chalked it down as relief that the hectic holiday season was concluding. This particular night had me thanking God that I was able to be with my family - warm, full, and comfy.

The motivation for my speech...3-02-08

(My fake speech if I ever had the chance)

Thank you for joining me tonight. I want to talk to you today about something besides courage, fortitude, and fight. A topic of many discussions. I want to talk about love. I speak of love tonight because I feel it, I feel it with every ounce of me.



As a child you look across the table at your parents, siblings, and family and feel that thing that you know as love. As a kid you lay your head down at night you can't wait to wake and feel that love all over again for another day. When you hit a certain age you write the word out of admiration. We often draw the heart to signify our love. We confide to our best friends and family when we think we find love and when we whisper those three words. I love you.





Eventually most will set a date and time so they can announce to the world the newfound love they have and the plans set for a life of love. This silly word now becomes serious and we start a family. As we become older, love is a subject of home, heart, and mind. Rarely spoken of outside the family and our circle of friends. Maybe this is an age thing. Our love becomes our guarded assett.




Tonight I open up outside the home, and ask you to be accepting. I might speak of this thing called love and some might say not here not now. Well I say "why not?" I am in love and I feel love, and I want to discuss my love. It just happens to be the love of my children I want to speak of.




I had love before my kids, but the love I felt after the kids is the love that is the most worth while for me.

The KC Star today...

Here is the latest article from the KC Star. Please take a look. http://www.kansascity.com/276/story/865719.html

Thank you KMBC 9...

Grandma: Part 3 The Conclusion

Kerry's grandma finally received a green light from the U.S. to enter the country. We have been told that all the paper work is done and waiting for her at the U.S. Consulate in Honduras. We are grateful. It took some time but it appears that it worked out, we just need to get her here quickly. Kerry isn't doing so well.

Kerry has been on a ventilator and her situation hasn't improved. The doctors told Claudia that she needs to get better soon or problems could occur. So I ask everyone to say a prayer for this young girl. I went to see her today and she is sick. He poor little body is so swollen. I hardly recognized her. A drastic change from last week. I wish I would have taken a picture with here months ago when she was feeling healthy. I'll just wait until she gets healthy again I guess. My connection with the family is solid and I feel they appreciate me and the effort I've put into helping them get their grandmother/mother here.

It must have been in March or April when Claudia told me she needed help. That was when I decided I would try to help Claudia bring her mother here from Honduras. It sounded easy but the reality is there's so many laws, rules, and regulations that getting anything done is a toss up. Although I tapped resources and worked hard for the family, it was Christina Jasso who did the paper work and followed up. It would have never happened if it wasn't for Jasso.

Today I went by First Watch and grabbed Claudia a cheese omelet, sausage, and a biscuit. When I arrived at CMH the waiting room was packed. Kerry's family and friends were gathered there. Christina Jasso was taking one person at a time back to Kerry's room. She was giving Claudia a break. Her kindness is so inspiring. I think she has to be tired too. This fight has consumed her and she's become attached to Kerry and the family.

The best advice I could give anyone who might face a tough battle with sickness is find the good in the situation. This journey with Kerry has opened my eyes to the random kindness of strangers. The outpouring of support from people who have never met her is unbelievable. The experience has renewed my faith in my fellow man/woman. I was blessed with the opportunity to see good things happen in the midst of an ugly thing called cancer.

I'm done writing about Kerry and her family. It's time for them to move forward privately. My objective was to get a Visa for the grandmother and it looks like we may have succeeded. Since I'm done with my part I am going to concentrate on my family now. For those of you who wonder why I've been writing so much about the family, it was because they needed their story told so others would intervene and help at this desperate time. It worked. I hope that Kerry wins her battle and I encourage everyone to say a prayer for this beautiful child.

Not alone anymore...

I want to tell everyone that Kerry Magana is getting assisted in the Visa campaign from Ted Kennedy and his office. It seems that Mr. Kennedy is part of an oversight committee that monitors immigration issues and this is one of the things, Kerry's situation, that they can help cut through the bureaucratic red tape and intervene. Thank you Mr. Kennedy.

The things that have happened since all this started have been incredible. The outpouring of support has been overwhelming. The person responsible is Christina Jasso from the Guadalupe Center in KC. She took this case on as any other but has moved from a social worker to become part of the Magana family. I joke with her almost daily that if ever become sick or in need of an advocate that she's my girl.

Christina stays at the hospital when she needs to. She delivers food and support daily. I'm sure her family has considered posting her picture on milk containers because she is always helping this family in moments of crisis. Recently there has been many moments.

I believe that it's a blessing when one gets to see acts of kindness first hand. This has truly been a blessing to me. We go through life so often consumed with our own world and seldom take up the cause of our fellow human beings. This is unfortunate because there are so many of our neighbors who need help, not just a handout. I have had my share of downs and I have been lucky to have the right people or person come to my rescue.

So this weekend, this month, or this year I ask you to keep an eye open for someone who needs your help. It might be someone fighting cancer, someone laid off from a job who needs some networking, or a neighbor that needs a ride to work to feed his or her family. For me it was a family battling sickness alone that put me in the mode. Alone. No one should have to do it alone. I have enough resources for the both of us.

This situation has been a growing experience for me. It has led me to new people, new door steps, and a new way of thinking. I encourage everyone to step out of that comfort zone, that routine and experience the incredible feeling you get when you make a difference. I can't say what will happen with this case, but I do know that this mother of a very sick child is not alone anymore. That might be her blessing, knowing she's not alone anymore!

An update on grandma...

We have been blessed with an outpouring of support from the community for Kerry. The KC Star article has really helped us. For me it's nice that other people became aware of this situation. I kept going up to the hospital doing as much as I could but we needed help from the public. The letters and offers of help have been uplifting and has made all this worth it.

Kerry is still out of it as she breath's with the ventilator but we pray she improves. We received a call from the Immigration Dept. asking for additional paperwork so we think it is moving forward. Just how much it's moving forward we'll have to wait and see. A phone call is better than no calls.

When I heard the news about the call I felt so good I can't explain it. I got chills. This help we've been trying to give had a starting point but the end seems to elude us. It has been frustrating. I'm hopeful we can get Kerry's grandmother here now that it has been publicly printed, televised, and talked about. I guess anything good takes work. Say a prayer for Kerry and keep your fingers crossed for grandma.

The newest member...

I'd like to introduce you to Champ Quijas. Champ joined us today as the newest Quijas family member. We wanted to get Christian a companion soon. Champ is one year old and we adopted him from Wayside waiffs. I wasn't sure if we should have a grace period before we jumped into a different dog but I was out numbered. So here is our new dog. Champ Quijas.

This dog likes to ride in the car, doesn't jump on you, and likes the cats. He's a good dog. I hope he doesn't eat the furniture or pee on the carpet. I guess we'll see how it goes. I can't wait to take a walk with him tomorrow.

On a lighter note...

My TV's were featured in the F.Y.I. section Of The Kansas City Star Sunday. The restaurant is Re:Verse on the Plaza and it showed my stainless steel tile design I put on the walls along with InAd's captivating technology.

It was a pleasant surprise when the newspaper called sometime back to ask us about restrooms. Who would have ever thought that I would become an expert in restrooms? Life has a funny way of pulling you out of one thing and putting you in another. Maybe my life was destined to be in the pisser! Ha!
Well it is nice to get recognition every once in awhile. Although they failed to mention InAd TV in the article it is nice knowing that we did a makeover on those restrooms and someone noticed our work.

I sometimes think that I did something here in Kansas City that hadn't been done before and it makes me feel good. I created a TV channel in the oddest place but it has caught on enough that I'm getting offers to expand into other cities. Who knows in the next 3 years I could have my channel playing in 50 states and I could be bought out from Viacom, Clear Channel, or CBS for a Kazillion Dollars and then I could really help change some lives. Starting with my own!

Red tape ties up Honduran grandmother’s attempt to visit teen with cancer

By MARY SANCHEZ
The Kansas City Star

If Jenesis Magana could cure cancer, she most surely would.
She’d take her background as a Kauffman scholar, her fascination with biology, her dedication to the robotics squad and figure out a thing or two. For now, though, she’s marching her tiny frame through the curvy corridors of Children’s Mercy Hospital.
Her older sister, 15-year-old Kerry Magana, is lying sedated on a ventilator in the intensive care unit. Kerry has acute lymphoblastic leukemia. Her body is rejecting the bone marrow doctors injected in September.
And Jenesis is angry. At anyone or anything having to do with her sister’s illness. She even questions medical procedures done or not done.
“I watch those TV shows,” Jenesis says. “There is always one doctor who ” disagrees with all the others and says, ‘No, I think it is this.’
Jenesis makes the remark as a statement. But it is a plea. Where is that magic doctor who will save her sister’s life?
I have no words to explain that her sister’s cancer may not be stopped, no matter how brilliant the doctor. She knows anyway.
Jenesis understands a lot for a 13-year-old. She knows why I’m there, the newspaper lady her mother, social workers and a family friend were told to call because their best bet for getting her grandmother here from Honduras is to embarrass the government into doing the right thing.
This part makes no sense to Jenesis. Or me.

Staffers with Rep. Emanuel Cleaver and Sen. Kit Bond, a public policy official with the National Council of La Raza, even connections inside the highest levels of the Department of Homeland Security — all said they would try to help. Ultimately, everyone offered the same advice: Get a splashy newspaper story done.

Kerry and Jenesis’ mother was born in Honduras and is now a legal permanent resident of the U.S. She has repeatedly applied for a visitor’s visa so her mother can come help the family, the last time with the help of a local immigration attorney. The doctors at the hospital and social workers have written letters of support to the U.S. Embassy in Honduras.

The U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services has told her that the grandmother didn’t have enough money in her bank account, then that she had too much, another time she was told she had reapplied too soon after a denial. The last time she was turned away without an explanation.
“I want my mother to see her grandchild while she is still alive,” Claudia Cabrera says, in a rare moment of raising her voice. “What do they want, her to die first?”

A single mother, twice widowed, Cabrera is exhausted and anemic. She has passed out twice at the hospital where her daughter has been since Aug. 25.

Nightly she covers herself in a long yellow sterile gown, plastic gloves and a mask to tend to her daughter, changing bedclothes and diapers regularly because of the extreme diarrhea, keeping Kerry’s open sores covered with ointment, begging her to stop fighting the ventilator.

Needless to say, I believe in the power of the printed word. And government bureaucracy is nothing new. Nor are backlogs and the complicated workings of the nation’s immigration procedures. If something is wrong with the visa application, the family needs to be told.

Ridicule by media should not be necessary to restart government cogs. That’s offensive when the issue is bureaucratic. It’s cruel when a young girl’s life may be ending.

When she rises to anger about her situation, Cabrera believes if she were wealthy, she would be able to secure the visa.

Well-placed connections have not helped. Michael Quijas befriended the family after meeting them through his daughter, who was diagnosed with the same type of cancer but is in remission now.

Quijas graduated from Shawnee Mission North High School at the same time as Julie Myers, now head of the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement. He has tried to call her office, seeking advice or intervention.

“It’s so frustrating because we’ve tried everything,” he said.

Quijas is among those told that multiple stories done by Kansas City Hispanic News were nice, but not enough. Not even the segments by KMBC-TV reporter Maria Antonia would do the trick. Quijas helped package the stories, along with photos from Kerry’s 15th birthday quinceanera by the Dream Factory, to send along with medical documentation and hundreds of dollars in fees for the latest application — an expedited visa.

The U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services says such a visa “usually takes 90 to 120 days from the date of this receipt for us to process this type of case.”

So, at a time when most children her age are being tucked into bed, Jenesis is pacing the halls with me, unloading her frustration. Upstairs, her mother is curled into a ball, sobbing. She has just been told that the ventilator isn’t helping the way doctors had hoped.

Earlier, her mother had taken a pink cell phone from her bag. She tried to show that day’s photo of Kerry to Jenesis, a visual update on her sister’s condition.

Jenesis sharply turned her head away, buried her face under the crook of her arm and began to cry. She hasn’t entered Kerry’s room for a week.

And she doesn’t need a photo to understand what is happening.

Start with a prayer.

I went to see Kerry Magana today. I brought lunch to her mother and got to spend some time with Kerry. She is very sick and depends on a ventilator to bring oxygen to her lungs. She is fighting and I ask everyone to say a prayer for her. We have a Kansas City Star article coming out this Monday. If you get a chance please pick up a copy and look for the Mary Sanchez column.



It is hard to comprehend how tiring it must be her mother. Sickness can wear you out just because of the sickness but throw in that Claudia has been there at CMH for 2 months straight. Kerry is in Intensive Care so what comfort Claudia had in the Bone Marrow floor disappeared when they moved Kerry. Claudia has to sleep with a mask, gloves, and sterile bib. The sounds and beeps from all the machinery would keep anyone awake but toss in that you have to make sure the oxygen mask stays on Kerry's face. So tough.



Claudia has to be there 24/7 so she hasn't worked. She has to feed herself while she is there. That food costs money and I know it can add up quickly. So sad. I can't believe that no one has offered her some sort of food voucher at the hospital. Another tough element in all of this is that Kerry's 13 yr-old sister is having to survive by herself. This means eating alone if her brother is working. She is 13 yrs-old and needs things like all other kids her age. Her shoes have went bad and I know that there's no money for shoes. This young child is frequently at the hospital with her mother and often wants to eat. Her mom doesn't always have the money to feed both her and her daughter. I couldn't imagine. How much can one person take?



It is so easy to listen to these stories and tune it out. If I had to do this alone I would break. If you only knew how stressful it is to spend weeks or in this case, months in the hospital. Those of us who had partners it was still hard as hell. To fight alone is unimaginable. The heartbreak, the financial burden, the fright!



Someday I hope I can advocate for families like Kerry's. It is my calling. I hope someday that I can make enough money in business to free me up to do these things. If anyone can help this mother in any way please do so. Start with a prayer.

Any help is appreciated

I went to visit Kerry Magana tonight. She is very sick and went on a ventilator today. It was hard to see her fighting for her health. I stayed only a minute but I'm glad I went to see her. Seeing a child depend on machinery to breath really makes you conscious of how delicate and fragile life is. Without your health nothing else matters. All that other stuff is insignificant.

It is so upsetting that Kerry's grandmother cannot be here to help comfort the family. The government and their rules are so flawed. This mother of Kerry's has been sitting bedside for almost 2 months trying to be strong but she is worn out. I wish her mother, Claudia, had some relief. We are at the mercy now if someone knows someone in Immigration to help us. This case just isn't going anywhere. We need help.

I ask anyone reading this to please help me if you can. I am looking for a miracle, an angel to step up and lend me a hand. If anyone knows someone or if you know someone who knows someone then please call me or email me. I will provide you any info that you need if you can find someone to look at our file in Homeland Security/Immigration. We are desperate for any help. Time is of the essence.

Trying to help, and coming up short is troubling. You so badly want to ease some pain but it isn't happening. It is tough for me because I know how hard and exhausting the fight is when it involves your child. To help bring someone here to help split the time at the hospital would be worth more than gold. Staying in the hospital for months and listening to the beeps from the tools keeping your child alive is a nightmare and can drive you insane. You have to stay healthy for the fight but how could one person do it. We never stayed more then 2-3 weeks, I can't imagine being there for 2 months. It was only by splitting shifts at the hospital that me and Tammie survived the time we did at CMH. It breaks my heart to think about Tammie and Kaylee fighting alone. It might be that thought that motivates me to do all I can for Kerry and Claudia.

One last Slim Jim...

Today we had to put our beautiful dog to sleep. He was so sick and in pain that we moved the procedure up a day. I stayed up last night until 4:00 am with him because he couldn't get comfortable. His body and spirit went on a major decline since this last weekend. It was tough to watch.

I had to be a CMH this morning at 10 am and we did our thing there. Kaylee had some tough chemo and a hurtful spinal tap. I left CMH somewhere around 3 pm so I could decide what my plan was going to be with Garth. Christian stayed home from school today so he could spend some time with his dog. It was really hard for Christian. But after watching the dog shake uncontrollably he too thought we should end his pain immediately.

It was around 5:30 when he went to sleep. I thought I was going to have to do it alone but Christian said he wanted to be there with Garth. So we waited for Kaylee & Tammie to get home. Kaylee wanted to see him off before we headed to the vet. She has so much going on with her health and her recovery that her view on health issues with the dog is a little less sympathetic then maybe Christian's. When Kaylee arrived home she had an Arby's Roast Beef sandwich for Garth. After he ate that, me and Bubba took Garth through the bank drive-thru to get some of the doggie biscuits they give out. We then proceeded to Quiktrip for one last Slim Jim for the big guy. It was all sad but comforting knowing that we gave him a great last meal.

We cried on the way there but pulled it together when we got in. The wait was somewhere around 30 min. before we were called in. The receptionist kindly informed me when we checked in that Laura Horseman, a great friend of Tammie and me since high school had paid for the procedure. Laura is an animal lover, animal advocate, and animal trainer that knew the condition of our dog and wanted the suffering to end. We have never had to do this before and Laura wanted to make it as easy for us as possible. We thank you Laura for thinking about our family and your generousity was greatly appreciated.

Christian was told he could wait outside but he told the Dr. he wanted to be there. Garth was always afraid of the vet and being left there so I regret that I took his collar off right before the procedure. He looked at me with confusion. I wish I wouldn't have done that. They sedated him and he was very calm. I held him and kissed him and told him how much I loved him. Christian looked the other way until the Dr. told him to come and say goodbye. Garth was very still but when Christian walked up he made eye contact with Christian and that was it. We said our goodbyes and left. Christian wanted me to hold him like he was a little kid again. He wanted the security of his father's hug! Well I gave it to him and he unknowingly returned the love to me by holding me too. I was sad and hurting as much as anyone. The most touching thing for me was that Christian traveled with me so I wouldn't have to do it alone. He is such a kind hearted person. Even though this appointment was the most painful thing he has ever had to do, he went to make sure I was OK! Garth was the best dog any family could ever have. Thank you Garth for watching over my family, I love you.

Today is a tough day. My daughter has to get all her work done in CMH today. Ugly chemo, spinal taps, and hunger. Kaylee is starving and she can't eat until her spinal tap is complete. I brought her in at 10 am for a full day of treatments. If it all went well we would have the chemo then we would follow up with a spinal tap around 2:30 this afternoon. Then after all that was done we would get some food in her belly. The trouble today is everything is getting pushed back because the nurses weren't able to get any blood out of Kaylee's port. Blood work starts our day, usually. This happened last time but a nurse manged to get the blood flowing. Not today!

We have to get blood work done

Amazingly empty...

I'm writing again. It's amazing how I can't find any thing to write about or how I could care less to write when things are back to normal. I say normal in relevance to our lives. My daughter does chemo nightly at home and we still have to journey downtown to Children's Mercy Hospital for spinal taps and aggressive treatments once a month. We will continue like this for years until they say she has completed her protocol but we are normal today for what life has dealt us as a family.

I write when I need to release something. My confusion today is my dog and more importantly my son. My dog is sick and the mood around here is sadness. We've been through so much that this sickness with the family pet is just another marker in our lives. My son was almost unable to go to school today because our dog is sick and he knows what fate he is going to meet in a day or two. I feel terrible. We had to call the school to inform them if he didn't get all his homework done or if he breaks down there's a reason. The school was nice enough to send an email to all his teachers so they would be aware of his state. They came up with the idea and I think they are wonderful to do such a caring thing. I guess it was a preventive measure of sorts.

For me I'm just relieved to have Kaylee feeling great. I was in the trenches for such a long time that I'm grateful for the moment. My son tucked his pain and sadness away when it dealt with Kaylee. He grabbed his dog a little closer and worked his way through his sorrow with the dog. He literally said it was the dog that helped him get through the days and nights when mom and dad were at CMH fighting for Kaylee's life. Now he has to let go of his preserver and I'm sure he feels scared that his post, the dog, is leaving him.

I know all this may seem goofy to most but it makes you realize how dynamic everything is in one's life. A dog. A sister. A family. Security. I feel that I've had the opportunity to see deep inside what makes a family tick. Although it is easier to say that everything works in harmony when it could be me that disrupts that flow. Do I do all that it takes to be the best man? Not always. Do I still gamble on bad decisions? Sometimes. Do I take for granted that an engine or life must run on all cylinders if it's to function normally? Most of the time, but not all the time.

Life has a way of letting you peek in sometimes so you can get a feel of what good or bad lies beneath the surface. We've had that peek and sometimes I measure myself by it. There should never be anything out there that can shake me because I've been shaken too hard. But I do get nervous or scared about things that have zero importance when it comes to the things that I've seen. But somehow I still get fears over business deals. I'm self employed and I get scared over bills and insurance policies. I get those insecurities and I often have people tell me that if they'd been where I've been then they could conquer anything. Well it seems that it should work that way but often the sickness and heartbreak opens your eyes to the vulnerability of your state. So again I say life is funny. What you think would make you the strongest person ever, sickness in your child, can also make you want to become just a normal provider with a normal routine to secure a normal existence.

As simple as it would be to live my life like an ordinary person at an ordinary job, well, it's just not me. I have my eye on doing things my way on my terms. So if doing it my way means that I have to worry just a little more than others waiting for a paycheck from the Human Resource Department then so be it. Some people are meant to be butchers, policemen, and doctors. I was put here for something else. I just have to follow through and steer my course. But enough about me and my path, today it's about Christian Michael Quijas and his dog named Garth!

A tall man's hand

I was just at the grocery store moments ago and passed a short woman trying to reach the top shelf in aisle 3. The product this woman was going for was soy sauce. Me being just 5' 10" I didn't attempt to help this 5' 2" lady. I didn't do it because I was snubbing or ignoring her helpless grasp but I did it because it was too tall for me. As I was watching this lady come up short an extraordinarily tall man came to this woman's rescue. He not only reached the soy sauce, he could see on top of the shelf and rescued lost bottles that had fallen far back.

The reason I mention this unusual observation is for a reason which I'll share in a moment but I have to explain my day first. I was getting ready for work this morning and I was all alone with Garth our dog. He looked so uncomfortable and sick. His weight and muscles in his neck and limbs have disappeared. I took him in 2 weeks ago for blood work and all sorts of other things. The tests all came back negative. The blood work found no cancer and the Doctor has no explanation for the major weight loss. So I felt OK, I guess, because they had no explanation. But I could tell that something was wrong. I gradually saw the decline happening more and more the last 2 weeks but we had high hopes for him. He is 10 years old and I'm realistic about Labs and life expectancy but I have family members scratching for alternatives to the fact that he is growing old. One of my teammates here believes its a chicken bone lodged in his throat. Another has it due to sadness. All sorts of reasoning but the truth is he is old.

I decided to take him into the Vet immediately today because I love my dog with all my heart and felt like I had taken the Vet's word that there was nothing wrong out of convenience. I could do the x-rays and send him to the university for open chested this or that but where does it end. So I had my son go with me to the appointment and the doctor said that his tumor we removed months ago had grown inward into his spinal column and has damaged and infected his nervous system. He is in irreversible pain and sickness.

I asked Christian to step out of the room as me and the wonderful Doctor talked it over. She said it was time to let him go. My heart broke and I could hear my child sobbing in the other room. I explained that I had to take Garth home for all the rest of the family, and so we decided to wait until Thursday so we can spend a couple of days with him. They administered pain medicine for the delay. I can't tell you how hard it is to see my boy cry uncontrollably all night long. He knows it's for the best but he is young.

We decided on Thursday because we have Children Mercy spinal taps on Wednesday and Kaylee is going to be occupied and sick Wednesday. I know that we all have responsibility towards our families and I take pride that I look out for us. I might take more pride in the fact I have a family I get to call my own and a family I can make the decisions for. Believe when I say that I don't make the decisions solely but I initiate the action when I see it needs tending to. Today I wish it wasn't one of those situations but it is what it is. We have to do what's best for one of our family members and unfortunately it means he won't be with us anymore.

So back to the tall man. This man's height was an advantage and definitely an asset at a time when needed. He lent a helping hand to a fellow human being who needed it. I had to lend my hand to my son today because he needed me as he felt more sadness then he has in sometime. I was lucky to be there for him to reach that place he needed me to. It wasn't the top shelf but it was a certain place that needed a special hand to lift his spirits. I can't make miracles happen but I am lucky enough to be called dad and be the one that my child hugged and held as he worked through his hurt. For that I felt honored and I felt like a father who did his job for the day!