Home Alone...

Kaylee was admitted into the hospital tonight. Kay has been sick the last two days and the doctors want to observe her for the next few days because her immune and blood levels have dropped significantly.

It has been almost a year since we've had to spend the night at CMH. I had almost forgot Kaylee had cancer. She does chemo and the visits are once a month now. I feel bad she has to endure admissions and needles. It would be so traumatic for anyone but it makes you feel terrible when it's your kid. I think she's in a great place considering she does have cancer.

I took Kaylee to the emergency room tonight because her fever reached 103 degrees. It was amazing how quickly the staff checked Kaylee into the ER. They expedited Kaylee so smoothly and fast I felt very good about the quick response. The ER is not where you want your kid if they're missing an immune system. We get a clean room or a sanitized environment but being there is risky. We didn't have to wait at all.

I stayed up last night until 6:00 am this morning because Kaylee was sick. She only woke up once at 5:30 am and said she was wasn't feeling any better. I got Tammie up and her fever was at 102 but it dropped at 6:30 and the doctors on call said lets wait and see where she goes with the fevers before we take her into CMH. So it wasn't until tonight at 7:30 when I went in and Kaylee felt hot. Her temp was at 103 and that's when we got the go ahead to take her in.

It sounds like I'm all over the sickness but it's Tammie. We do shifts. I'll stay up at night so Tammie can get some sleep. It is her who ends up playing Florence Nightingale when the work needs to be done. It was me that took Kaylee to the ER because if she got checked in, like she did, that's when Tammie's work begins. She stays with Kaylee in the hospital and I relieve her in the morning. It is uncomfortable staying in the hospital. I will get Christian off to school and then I'll make my way to CMH. Tammie will be here when Christian gets off the bus and will get him ready for his big dance tomorrow. This sickness can throw a monkey wrench in anything you have planned. Christian has been excited about this dance and got new clothes for the occasion and a haircut. Christian and Tammie have been getting him ready for his night. Unfortunately Kaylee's sickness will take part of his excitement away. We will be focused on her even though we are going to get him off to his big night. Kaylee's cancer takes precedent over everything.


So tonight I lay here with my girls gone. Hopefully this little bug will pass and we can disappear into the crowd like we have this past year. This cancer sucks and makes you realize that having cancer comes with certain realities. You have to be careful, more so then other people. I'm certain Kaylee knows this is only a speed bump. Sickness is crazy at this time of the year and her being at school means she is exposed to the potential threats of sickness crawling in the halls and that cougher we all hear and see who doesn't cover their mouth. Well that's all I have for tonight.

We succeeded on our part...

I am happy to announce that we successfully got Kerry's grandma here Thursday night. Her flight came in around 7:30 pm and the family was brought to tears when they saw her. I can't begin to tell you how happy I was. It was a conclusion to the countless hours of work we put in to get the family the support they needed at the hospital and at home.

"A Girls Night Out Limo" sent a car to pick up the family so they could meet grandma at the airport. Dan Stewart donated his time to drive the car for the family. None of the occupants had ever been in such a vehicle and it was special to see them get there in comfort and style. I was invited to ride but opted to follow in my car. I wanted them to be at ease and at peace.

We also started construction on their kitchen Thursday. To say I started the construction would be an absolute lie, I'm not engineered or skilled to do any kind of construction but found resources to help. Christina Jasso, who has become such an important part of the Magana family, got her husband to do the tile, plumbing, and electrical work. The Jasso's are awesome.

Laton Crane, the owner of Calloway Construction, was kind enough to hang the cabinets at the last minute for me. Ed Woods, an electrician and parent of a cancer survivor, has also agreed to go to the house to hang new lighting fixtures. We just need a person to glue the granite tops and cut a hole for the kitchen sink in the granite. So if any of you know anyone who does that kind of work please let me know. My Thursday was very busy. I rounded up construction crews, gave a speech, and ended my day at the airport. It was one of the most fulfilling days I've ever had.

The kindness from everyone has been rewarding to me. It has renewed my faith in other people. Seriously, I have to say that I would have probably not noticed the kind acts nor would I participate in such kindness if not for the sickness. I feel comfortable to say that I was self absorbed before this illness. In the past I would have given you a ride to the hospital if you needed it but would have driven off at the first opportunity. Today I'd walk you in, wait with you, and make you comfortable! Things have a way of changing you.

I titled this "We succeeded in our part..." now it's left in God's hands. Say a prayer for this tough child.

Amazingly empty...

I'm writing again. It's amazing how I can't find any thing to write about or how I could care less to write when things are back to normal. I say normal in relevance to our lives. My daughter does chemo nightly at home and we still have to journey downtown to Children's Mercy Hospital for spinal taps and aggressive treatments once a month. We will continue like this for years until they say she has completed her protocol but we are normal today for what life has dealt us as a family.

I write when I need to release something. My confusion today is my dog and more importantly my son. My dog is sick and the mood around here is sadness. We've been through so much that this sickness with the family pet is just another marker in our lives. My son was almost unable to go to school today because our dog is sick and he knows what fate he is going to meet in a day or two. I feel terrible. We had to call the school to inform them if he didn't get all his homework done or if he breaks down there's a reason. The school was nice enough to send an email to all his teachers so they would be aware of his state. They came up with the idea and I think they are wonderful to do such a caring thing. I guess it was a preventive measure of sorts.

For me I'm just relieved to have Kaylee feeling great. I was in the trenches for such a long time that I'm grateful for the moment. My son tucked his pain and sadness away when it dealt with Kaylee. He grabbed his dog a little closer and worked his way through his sorrow with the dog. He literally said it was the dog that helped him get through the days and nights when mom and dad were at CMH fighting for Kaylee's life. Now he has to let go of his preserver and I'm sure he feels scared that his post, the dog, is leaving him.

I know all this may seem goofy to most but it makes you realize how dynamic everything is in one's life. A dog. A sister. A family. Security. I feel that I've had the opportunity to see deep inside what makes a family tick. Although it is easier to say that everything works in harmony when it could be me that disrupts that flow. Do I do all that it takes to be the best man? Not always. Do I still gamble on bad decisions? Sometimes. Do I take for granted that an engine or life must run on all cylinders if it's to function normally? Most of the time, but not all the time.

Life has a way of letting you peek in sometimes so you can get a feel of what good or bad lies beneath the surface. We've had that peek and sometimes I measure myself by it. There should never be anything out there that can shake me because I've been shaken too hard. But I do get nervous or scared about things that have zero importance when it comes to the things that I've seen. But somehow I still get fears over business deals. I'm self employed and I get scared over bills and insurance policies. I get those insecurities and I often have people tell me that if they'd been where I've been then they could conquer anything. Well it seems that it should work that way but often the sickness and heartbreak opens your eyes to the vulnerability of your state. So again I say life is funny. What you think would make you the strongest person ever, sickness in your child, can also make you want to become just a normal provider with a normal routine to secure a normal existence.

As simple as it would be to live my life like an ordinary person at an ordinary job, well, it's just not me. I have my eye on doing things my way on my terms. So if doing it my way means that I have to worry just a little more than others waiting for a paycheck from the Human Resource Department then so be it. Some people are meant to be butchers, policemen, and doctors. I was put here for something else. I just have to follow through and steer my course. But enough about me and my path, today it's about Christian Michael Quijas and his dog named Garth!

To you on Mother's Day...

I am writing this blog today for Tammie Lei Quijas. First I want to say Happy Mother's Day. It's hard to describe with words to anyone the road we've traveled this last 10 months. No parent should have to endure the nightmare we've encountered this last year. I often think to myself that God has a plan, I'm just glad that he included you in my plan. Even though we've had obstacles and adversity to get around I feel blessed that I have you to travel with.

I want to commend you on your care and love you have shown all of us for as long as I can remember but more importantly the last year. You have been strong when I wasn't. You put a spin on things for me that made me tougher and able to get through. You administered medicine and shots to our child when she begged you not too, but you did and I thank you. You carry Kaylee's cancer book to every appointment so you can document every single dosage and comment. I thank you for being with me through the nights we cried and held each other in the hospital not knowing if Kaylee was going to make it another day. I thank you knowing and being able to relate to the pain I felt over a certain little girl named Kaylee Marie Quijas. I thank you for taking care of Christian every morning before school because you needed and need him to know his day is just important as everyone else's. I thank you for having something always ready to eat for Christian when he gets off the bus. I thank you for never wanting to leave the hospital. I thank you for standing by me in all my endeavors when everyone else said it wouldn't work. I thank you for taking pride in your home and having it comfortable and clean for all of us when we arrive home. I thank you for the positive, unwavering position you have shown through all of this sickness. I thank you for the love you have demonstrated to both of our children. I thank you for being the parent who is at every practice and game for her kids. I thank you for acting like I never surprise you with my accomplishments. I thank you for reminding me that I can do great things, or in your words "Your Michael Quijas and you can do anything!" I thank you for creating an environment where every kid wants to be at our home. Finally, I want to thank you for doing the yard work. Without you we would have angry neighbors and dirty clothes!