One Year Ago Today...

I reprinted my first blog below. I published it on June 29, 2007. What a difference a year can make. I can't explain those first days. It was so surreal. I was confused and hurt. The doctors are convinced that it was delivered to me for a reason. I think they may be right. This word leukemia, this disease called cancer, has changed me. I'm humbled. I'm full of compassion and I look at every thing differently.

I now notice things that I once didn't. Today for example I noticed this man's hands at our baseball tournament. These paws were rough. They looked as if he had broken his fingers, smashed a few fingernails, and changed more then enough motor oil. (Bare with me for a moment because this is going somewhere.) As this man put his other hand on the bleacher I noticed his thumb was missing. Ouch! I then looked at his family. He had his wife, his daughter who was roughly Kay's age, and his son. This father had a t-shirt on with his son's uniform number on it. I watched him for a minute. This stranger was interacting with his kids. He was a good father from all appearences. I went back to his hands. These beaten digits were that way because he was providing a life for his family. He was working with his hands somewhere to pay tournament fees. He was aquiring arthritis for the fancy sunglasses his daughter was wearing, and for the flip flops his wife was sporting. I saw family when I saw his hands. This disease has made me look past the cosmetic appearence of a man and his tortured hands. It has made me admire a man for the hard work he has endured to provide for his family.

Please enjoy my retro writing and please consider helping me find a way of getting Kerry Magana's grandma here:


Almost 15….What really matters? A question that can produce so many different answers. I’m not sure what my answer would've been a week ago. To be honest, I really wanted to own a Bentley Continental GTC in the next year or so if I hit the lottery. A custom chopper. A lake home. I thought those things mattered. I thought status was important. But a week later I can tell you its health. A healthy child. A healthy child that you kiss goodnight as you tuck them into bed.My name is Michael Quijas and I am sitting next to my daughter as she fights for her life. Seven days ago my daughter was admitted to the University Hospital in Columbia, MO for symptoms of Leukemia. That was Thursday June 21, 2007. On Friday June 22, we were delivered the bad news that she did test positive for Leukemia and treatment had to start immediately.
The whole event was surreal and a week later it is still numbing. I am coping, crying, and questioning everything. Why? Why my little girl? What did she ever do in her short little life to deserve such a devastating diagnosis? The doctors & nurses tell me it’s a process that every parent goes through but I still have questions and anger.My first day, technically before the official results were in, I had hospital staff tell me how sorry they were. The doctors, nurses, & even the receptionist expressed condolences. I was confused. Why the hell are these people giving me sympathy? I didn’t want it, they could keep it.I have to do something theraputic while I sit here so I've decided to document my experience.June 24, 2007 11:43 p.m. - I am sitting in a hospital room at University Hospital in Columbia, MO.. Room 6-E44 to be exact. The time is 11:43 p.m. and I am fighting a battle with my daughter. This battle is against leukemia. This battle started three days ago on June 21, 2007. The news or I should I say diagnosis came in around 8:15 p.m. and it was like a hammer hitting me in the head.
I was at the hospital for a shot, pill, or Tylenol. Not the news that my baby had Leukemia. We wanted to spend an hour at the most getting some quick fix and head back to our baseball tournament. But life has has a way of throwing a curve ball.Kaylee Marie Quijas was born on July 12, 1992. I’d like to say she weighed 6.6 oz. but it would only be a guess. I do know she was born in the afternoon and it changed my life forever. I swear I have never loved a girl as much as I love my baby Kaylee. It was love at first sight.It is eighteen days until her 15th birthday. This is the summer before her sophomore season in high school. Almost fifteen! The sad thing is that I can not do any thing to ease her pain.We started chemotherapy yesterday and it has demolished my baby girl. She is so sick that I can not recall being in the presence of anyone as ill as this little angel. Her spirit is at its lowest and I’m scared. I’m scared that her low immune system could allow a simple virus to ravage her defenseless body. I’m terrified that her body, or her almighty father God, might decide to call it quits. The worst nightmare a parent could ever have.June 26, 2007 12:05 a.m. - Today has been a better day for Kaylee. She is still sick and weak but was more alert then yesterday.June 26, 2007 9:10 p.m. - Our day has been exhausting. Visitors are coming left and right and we are trying to entertain in a sense. The drive here is 2 hours long. So when some one travels that distance to see you, you feel obligated to meet & greet but we are worn out. The support from our family and friends has been incredible.June 26, 2007 11:48 p.m. - I just arrived at the Ronald McDonald house. I feel grateful to be accepted into the house but would give anything to be at home with Kaylee. I keep having negative thoughts about Kaylee’s recovery. I’m optimistic about her improvements but concerned about her ability to fight off infection and virus’. I will keep my concerns to myself.June 27, 2007 11:06 a.m. - My night went rather well considering I slept in the Ronald McDonald House alone. I was unfamiliar with the surroundings but felt blessed that I had a place to sleep. I am amazed at the “workings” of this whole illness thing. There are people to comfort you, people to feed you, cloth you, house you, assist you, and almost anything and everything a family might need to cope with this terrible disease called cancer. I am making a commitment to contribute to these organizations when I can do so.June 28, 2007 11:37 a.m. – Today Kaylee is looking spectacular! Her color and skin looks so much better. She is still sleeping. Exhausted. Worn down. Beat up. But she was told that if she doesn’t start eating and drinking she will not be able to go home.Her resilient spirit is second to none. I am so proud of her and her strength.June 28, 2007 9:13 p.m. – Sometime today around 3:00 p.m. the doctors came in to tell us or advise us on a certain “situation”. It seems that Kaylee's liver is having troubles. It is irritated and unhappy and should rest. But the treatment (chemotherapy) she needs today will in all probability upset the liver even more. But if they delay treatment for the cancer it will continue to grow and her life would be in grave danger. But if we did delay treatment it would give her liver additional time to heal. We all agreed that extinguishing the cancer is the top priority and we can only pray her liver will survive and rebound. We’ll just cross that bridge when it comes.
June 29, 2007 9:20 a.m. – I took Kaylee for a stroll in the wheelchair today.She had herself an egg & sausage biscuit in the cafeteria. Chocolate milk washed the two bites down. Her eyes are bright yellow from the unhappy liver. She is so beautiful even when she looks sick. Her manners have never disappeared even though she can hardly talk. It is always "thank you."I also took Kaylee outside for a minute. I needed the wind to hit her face. I wanted her to hear the birds chirping. It is those little things that we take for granted every day. I love my daughter more than I can say.

Grandma: Part 1

Dear Representative Cleaver,
My name is Michael Quijas. I am a proud father of a young 15 yr-old girl who is fighting cancer, leukemia. We were diagnosed on June 21, 2007. This last year was very hard and unpredictable. We have been fighting for our daughter's health and have had to dig dip inside to get through certain days. We were blessed with a strong family, with friends, and community that rallied behind us.

Along our journey we made friends with other families battling similar sickness in their kids. I write you tonight about one mother in particular, a mother that is struggling to keep her family afloat. Her name is Claudia and her beautiful daughter's name is Kerry Magana. Claudia is a single mother with 3 kids. She has no family or friends to help her. Until recently she had been riding the bus to work, she has walked to Children's Mercy Hospital from East KC, and she has had to let her sick daughter ride the bus alone to get her chemo in the clinic. Since Claudia is the only provider in the home she is forced to leave Kerry daily so she can work to keep a roof over the family's head. She needs help, she needs your help.

Kerry's grandmother lives in Honduras and has tried unsuccessfully to get a Visa to come stay with the family until Kerry's bone marrow transplant is complete. They deemed Kerry's case not an emergency. As a father who has a child battling the same disease, it is an emergency. This little girl is fighting alone daily with no one to over see her taking her meds, (with blood disease you could sleep all day and not even know it), the bone marrow transplant requires that this little girl stay hospitalized for 6-8 weeks following the procedure. There needs to be someone there with her. Right now Claudia has to be at the hospital every Wednesday to sign off on the chemotherapy that Kerry receives. She is at risk of losing her job due to the demands of this disease. She needs someone to help her, someone like her mother, someone to bring comfort and assistance like only a mother can. As my Congressman, as a Congressman who's a father, a grandfather I ask you to please lend your help, your hand in saving this beautiful little girl.

We need a Humanitarian Visa for this little girl's Grandmother. Please help me help them. The Guadalupe Center has been blown away by this Mother's story and is requesting an application from Mr. Ruiz. Please take a look at this application and let us know what can be done through your office/resources.

I own a TV channel - InAd TV - that plays Kansas City's top restaurants, nightclubs, and entertainment venues (The Power & Light/KC Live). If I can ever help with a cause, an event, or a campaign please know I'm here for you! Please give me a call or an email and I can give you more details or info regarding Kerry Magana.

I'm a blessed man because I can provide my family with the tools, resources, and time needed to fight this thing as comfortably as possible. I'm blessed that I get to have my wife next to my daughter daily as we fight our sickness. My wife and I both have the luxury to rub our daughter's back as she gets so sick. Imagine if you were a parent and couldn't be there for your child. I only hope we can help because if by chance this little girl passes away I don't want this mother to have any regrets! I want grandma here so she can rub the back if mom has to work.

At first I thought why would God give this to us. But now I know. He gave me this so I might help others. I just created a non-profit called - 10 Kids Insured - that will insure children lacking health care in programs such as Operation Breakthrough and Guadalupe Center. What I thought was a curse has turned into a blessing! Please help Kerry Magana and her mother. They are legal residents of the US and they need some representation. Thank you Mr. Cleaver.

Thank you,
Michael Quijas
816.651.9471
michael@inadtv.com
www.inadtv.com

Don't let the sickness steal your smile...

I was thinking the other day what advice Kaylee would give me concerning myself and sickness. I turned the tables, and thought what piece of knowledge would Kaylee bestow upon me if she thought I had the fight of my life at hand. Here's what I came up with. She would tell me never lose my smile and my sense of humor. I'm sure of it. She would never want me to surrender or lose my personality. I think if we switched roles, that would be the one thing that would deflate Kay - me losing that laugh.



I truly enjoy life and love laughing. Laughing was what got us through those first days. Even though Kaylee got severely sick we laughed, smiled, and cried occasionally. But our internal medicine was laughter. We never let the sickness steal our smile. Sure it's gotten tough at times, but we found humor somewhere. So keep your smile if sickness knocks at your door because it might be that smile that eases someones pain!

Maybe you know me, maybe you don't. Today I ask you to take a moment and read this whether you know me or not. Today I was at Children's Mercy Hospital with Kaylee and Tammie. Kaylee had to be put under anesthesia for the procedures she had to endure today. So much scar tissue has built up, she can no longer be awake for the needles and punctures.

While we were in there we ran into Kerry Magania's mother. You might remember Kerry in some of my earlier blogs. I had helped out in the Bone Marrow Drive. Kerry has relapsed and is fighting sickness. Kerry is a beautiful 15 yr-old child. She is struggling.

We were in the waiting room waiting for Kay and Kerry's mom was also waiting. We talked and her mom started crying. She said that it was so hard trying to work daily while her baby's health was declining. We talked about how it was so difficult trying to work. She said that her family consists of 2 other children besides Kerry. She had to make sure the bills are paid but would much rather be home making sure Kerry was waking up and being taken care of. Kerry like all kids are so tired. This blood disease is tiring. I listened to her tell us about her mother who lives in Honduras. She said that her mother has tried more than once to apply for a Visa but has be denied because they say this situation is not life threatening. It is! If this little girl doesn't have the proper care only a mother or grandmother can give then she is in trouble.

My heart ached. I want to help but don't know how. I called a State Representative while I sat there and he gave me a name in Emanuel Clever's office. This man is the one who might be able to help but who knows. If you read this and know or keep in touch with Julie Myers from high school, the Assistant Secretary of Homeland Security and Immigration Investigations, please give her my number. If you know someone with connections then please think about an angle to get this grandmother here. Comfort can create miracles!

Thank You...

Today marks the one year anniversary of our leukemia diagnosis. What a difference a year makes. I got a little choked up this afternoon when Kaylee started recapping that day last year. We are having dinner tonight to mark the progress we've made. I love my daughter more than words can describe. So this is sweet and simple.

I thank you God for allowing me time with such a beautiful girl whom I'm lucky enough to call my daughter. I thank you for letting me see. If it hadn't have been for that gift then I may never have gotten to see the light, the love, and the lessons from this.

Thank you!

Sleepovers and sickless days...

My troubles started last Father's Day. Kaylee had arrived home from Florida the night before Father's Day. It was Sunday, Father's Day, and Kaylee became ill. I thought she was fibbing. I reasoned she was holding out on the Father's Day because she was detached from her computer for a whole week. I told her at one point to get off the computer during our BBQ because I wasn't falling for her tactics.

Kaylee progressively got worse. During the first week Kaylee had flu symptoms. She was sick. Tonight Kaylee went to the Plaza for dinner. Last night she spent the night with Bailee Woods. Two nights ago she stayed with Allysa. Wednesday she stayed with my sister Kelly. Kaylee looks and feels so good. I am so proud of her. She is self conscious about certain things but loves her life and her situation at the moment.

Kaylee said she was so comfortable at Bailee's home. I told her how nice it was for me to hear that. The Woods picked Kaylee up last night around 6:30. They took her to their house. I had about an hour with the family. I love them. We have a friendship based off similar experiences. No hidden agenda. No false promises. Our kids are the glue that bonded us. I can't tell you how special the friendship with the Woods family is, but let me suggest a thing to you. If you ever get something as devastating as a cancer diagnosis, keep your eyes open because God might be as kind to you as he was to us when he teamed us up with the Woods family.

I'm going to bed. I have a house full of kids tonight and the sound of laughter is filling our home. I feel like I'm going to sleep exceptionally well. Have a good night and a better tomorrow!

Maybe...

I wanted to inform everyone that Kaylee does not have a fracture in her leg. We spent yesterday at the hospital getting x-rays and they showed Kaylee has no broken bones. We decided it was best to be safe so we made the trip to CMH. It took some time out of our afternoon but the news was worth the time. Kaylee must have twisted it.

Kaylee spent the night at her best friend Allysa's house last night. It is so nice to see her getting back to normal. I got a little sick with the fact that we had to travel to CMH yesterday. I thought how unfair. This kid keeps plugging away but has to deal with obstacle after obstacle. Her little body is so fragile. I always want to help her but she wants no assistance. I feel for her. Her little wig doesn't fit anymore because her hair is growing back. The hair is at a small growth she doesn't feel good with. She wears a small stocking cap to conceal her new found hair. She wears a hoodie. I'm guessing it's because her body temperature swings back and forth. When we are out in public it is obvious that she is battling back from something. I catch people looking all the time. I notice people trying to figure it out. I as the father want to scream she has cancer but that's not allowed. The majority of all people have no clue that any of us can be thrown into sickness at any moment.

I get into trouble because there are those that ask Kaylee what's wrong. Especially with her little hobble. She always replies that she twisted her ankle. I sometimes fill in the other part about cancer and Kaylee doesn't like it. I only do this when I can tell that the person is sincerly interested in what this little girl is battling. I think anyone fighting or being inconvenienced with things such as ours should be applauded. I would grab every kid and reward them if I could. I think anyone robbed of their youth, childhood should be noted for bravery. These children face things most will never face and depend on institutions and professionals to get them better. How scary. I think trying to survive is hard enough for most but being dependent on things outside the norm is troubling. What if the family you were born into has trouble providing three meals a day then suddenly they have to figure out how to get meds? It hurts me dearly to think about other families and the things that some have to deal with. Let the kids be kids, life is hard enough as it is!

I wonder sometimes if God gave me this so I could make a difference. Maybe I was chosen to handle this situation for a reason? Maybe it will be Michael Quijas who helps in some way. Maybe it is me that contributes in some way that makes things easier for families. Maybe God delivered this sickness to my door for a reason. Maybe!

St. Louis for the day...

Kaylee and I went to St. Louis for the day yesterday. We drove up there and stayed at a hotel in the downtown area. I suggested the trip on Tuesday and Kaylee quickly agreed. It was only us two that made the trip. We arrived back home today around 3:00 PM. Our entertainment was limited because Kaylee has a hurt leg. Her ankle is swollen and she can barely walk today. I think I am taking her to CMH tomorrow to have it X-rayed. We have been told that steroids and chemo can make the bones brittle.

Our intentions originally were to go to Six Flags. We determined that we wouldn't be able to walk long enough to enjoy the outing. We made the decision to go ahead with the trip just to relax and it would also give Kaylee some drive time on the open highway. I booked a room at the Millennium Hotel. I wish I could give raving reviews but the room was very small. The key worked only after 5 to 10 minutes of concentration. The room was categorized as a contemporary setting and it was. It was so hip that it was uncomfortable. Lighting in the room was horrible and light switches were hidden. The restaurant we looked forward to eating at was booked solid for the night. The taxi driver tried charging us $10.00 for a four block ride.

The time with Kaylee in a new city was priceless. We stopped off in Columbia, MO to see where everything unfolded last year. The diagnosis was almost a year exactly, well 10 days shy. Our first stop was at the hotel. I felt so emotional pulling back into town. The same front desk guy was there. He remembered me easily. I told him how thankful we were for his kindness and generosity last year. It was nice to tell them Kaylee was doing better.

Our next stop was University Hospital. Dr. Tran was our doctor who diagnosed Kay. We told the front desk we wanted to see the doctor and why. I could tell she knew our moment was pretty special. To our excitement Dr. Tran was working. So we were taken back and waited about 15 minutes for the doctor. I can't explain how good it felt being able to sit in that Urgent Care room with my daughter, to say thank you.

Dr. Tran came in and he remembered us. He gave us both a hug and a smile. He told us he often thought what happened to Kaylee. We said we were here and getting our health back. We talked for 45 minutes and then Dr. Tran walked us to our car. It was a good time. I think Kaylee and I both got something out of the trip. I only wish I had taken a picture with the doctor. Next time.

When we arrived in St. Louis we ate at Jack in the Box. We love those tacos. We haven't had Jack in the Box since we left Los Angeles. It was nice. Our night was easy. We went shopping downtown for some new things for Kaylee. We arrived back to the hotel and ate dinner in the cafe. We ended up back in the room and watched a movie. It was relaxing.

Today we did the Arch Tour. It was the first time for me and it was impressive. I'm sure Kaylee enjoyed it too. I realized something today. It is not completely enjoyable for me being somewhere without my whole family. I enjoyed spending time with Kaylee but I missed Christian and Tammie. Traveling without the whole team makes it incomplete. Next time!

Well I thought I'd share our day. Have fun and enjoy your family!

This Friday and Saturday...