RIP - Aretha Franklin 03/25/1942 - 08/16/2018

My story about Aretha Franklin. In 1996 I had moved to San Diego and I was feeling lost. I had just picked up my roots, my family's roots, and left in a move that physically took place within one day of planning. Shortly after arriving I started writing. I had no computer at that time so I would write in journals all night while listening to music. I was addicted to the peacefulness of knowing my family was sleeping safe, I was rebuilding a new life for me and them, and I wasn't running around the streets like a mad man as I was in Kansas City.

One night I was listening to my music and Aretha Franklin's song, "You Make Me Feel" came on. A song I had hear 100 or 1000 times before. But for some reason these lyrics below hit me hard that night. They were the most beautiful set of words that I had ever heard grouped together. I started crying. I hadn't cried a tear in years because I had become hard and immune to my emotions because of the life I lived for so many years. Mean, ugly, and with complete disregard for anyone if they weren't what I considered "mine".

"When my soul was in the lost and found
You came along to claim it
I didn't just know what was wrong with me
Till your kiss helped me name it
Now I'm no longer doubtful, of what I'm living for
And if I make you happy, I don't need to do more"

I always wondered what triggered that break down. I went over that night, those words, my relationships, my marriage but the words weren't relating to anything I could think of. They were spiritual in meaning to me. Growing up in Catholic school for the majority of my younger years I was taught and believe that God loves me and all of us. I often say, "God loves me and he's so good to me," a statement that I've had to question more than a few times, but it's a true statement. I feel uncomfortable talking about religion but I believe in God, everything is at his will, and he is so good to us if you have your eyes, mind, and heart open you too will see.

I've had horrible heartbreak and loss beyond measure but I'm a strong person, emotionally and physically. This is because God has packed me with the power of strength. He allows me to stick up for myself with great effectiveness and for others who can't. He also loaned me a sweet heart that is filled with compassion, forgiveness, and deep love.

Aretha Franklin's words that night were words to a song that related to my relationship with God. No matter how many times I've lost my way, my emotions, or my soul he never lets it stray away. God always comes along and claims it, his child. Because no matter what I do, good or bad, his love is great and constant. It's the one thing I know, if I ever should find myself alone in a dark place or space, that I'm never alone, because he's always right next to me, giving me, the strength to face it.
Ms. Franklin, your words, your voice were a blessing to me, through them both, God spoke to me...
RIP 03/25/1942 - 08/16/2018
https://youtu.be/dEWuAcMWDLY