So I've been walking lately to feel good about myself. I hated the way I was feeling and I also got diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes this past November. The disease was coming and I knew it. I seriously laid in a bed from April 26, 2010 until sometime in 2011. Then again in 2012 for 10 months. The lack of movement, exercise, and motion was a sure sign in my mind that the disease was coming. Besides being Mexican and the perfect candidate for the disease, it runs in my family. I was hurt in April 2010 and had some broken bones. I was in a hospital bed, that was placed in our front room, for nearly 4 months. Then once that was gone, I continued in a wheelchair for nearly a year. Just when my leg was healed in October 2011 my son was killed in January 2012. I collapsed with that one emotionally and mentally for 10 months. I could not get out of bed or off the couch. It was terrible. It became a joke because the kids would have friends come over and I was "THAT" guy on the couch. I can't explain the feeling of losing a kid but I did what you probably weren't suppose to do as far as dealing with it.
So today I am single and living alone. My daughter stays with me often but floats between my place, her mom's, and boyfriend's place. My son has been here once maybe twice. His life is in Lee's Summit and I understand. Plus he's a mama's boy and I can respect that. BUT, I think about myself back in the day and how different I was. I was everywhere. Dallas, Chicago, San Diego, Los Angeles, Florida. There wasn't a place I wouldn't go nor did I think Kansas City was too far from Lee's Summit, Missouri. Just saying...SON!
When I received the news from my doctor about the disease I swore I was going to do exactly as she said and whatever else immediately - but didn't. I was on it at first then got to the point that I just didn't care. I was depressed that I was moving on my own, that I felt like crap, and looked like crap. But one day I thought if I was to watch my sugar, exercise, and stop the obsession with food that I might actually start to feel good. I had been on Xanax for such a long time for all my mental issues that I thought a different approach might be a good change. Plus the anti-depressants I was prescribed gave me side effects I'd prefer not have.
After walking the weight started to drop off. I am down nearly 40 lbs. and I feel great. I love walking. I wish I was running but I can't. The damage to my leg from the accident has eliminated the running but walking is a great thing. I'm a big supporter of the walk. I'm also big on taking notice of what I see when I'm out there doing my thing. So after this big ass intro let me share what I saw today.
I first encountered a kid cutting the grass of a foreclosed home. I could tell he was too young to be from the bank or property company. I came to the conclusion he lived next door and his chore was to cut the grass next to his family's home so it didn't make their property look bad. I respected that. I thought to myself that his parents probably worked hard to purchase a place of their own to raise their family. Their American dream and no neighbor with a defunct loan or tall grass was going to affect that dream. I respect that. I love people who want to give their kids something - especially a life lesson.
I made it a couple miles away and walked past a garden nursery. I saw a thuggish black man, an employee or owner, watering plants. Along with the watering he was tending to the plants in a ballerina sort of way. He was taking care of the plants in a delicate fashion. Pulling what appeared dying little leaves. He didn't see me but I could see that he sincerely cared what he was doing. I thought to myself that I never cared about plants or have I ever taken the time to water one. That was the things Tammie would do and I thought about all the other things she probably did that I never noticed. I appreciated my 25 years with her even more at that moment. But just like a dying leaf sometimes things have to be pulled apart so they can live. Miss you TLQ.
The next thing I noticed was what appeared to be a husband and wife in a convertible having fun. The smile on her face and his grip on the wheel painted a picture for me of what love should be. They were in their 60's, I'd guess, and loving their company. Themselves. Her smile and his grip was only interrupted by the laughter they were sharing. I thought how comfortable is that? Cruising in life with someone you actually love. Now he or she may have been smiling because they just got out of jail but I envisioned what I did and it made me feel good for them. Love.
On my final stretch home I noticed a guy walking up on me. I'm not the fastest walker and he didn't have on a jogging suit so I stopped to let him pass me. I take pride in my street's smarts. If you're walking up on me and think you're going to get something from me, besides a "hello", you just might get the best ass kicking you didn't want. Anyways, I was behind him now. He got a block ahead of me and he waved at a guy, who was about a block ahead of him, using a walker. I could see they were exchanging pleasantries as I approached a block behind. When I got closer, the man who I thought might want more than a hello, was pulling money out of his pocket for the disabled man. I thought how nice is that? This guy who might not of seen his friend in some time was lending a few bucks to the man in the walker who appeared kind of down and out. Helping out a brother. The transaction could have been a drug deal unfolding right in front of me but all the same it made me feel good.
I finished my walk when my daughter noticed me on the side of the road and offered me a ride home. I like to think I'm a good person. I think I like to see the best in everyone and I thank God that he allows me to witness things that I can apply to my own life. Now the young kid could have been burglarizing the house he was cutting the grass at, the thug could have had the owners of the nursery tied up in the back of the joint, the fun driving couple may have just made bail bond, and the walker guy could have just copped some Oxy but I want to believe they were all good stories unfolding right in front of me for a reason. Peace be with you and take a walk! And Cliff...
I promise no more selfies!
