Mad

I'm quarantined due to a cough and runny nose, so I've been writing all day. My blog and my book. I hate that I'm around Kay as I don't feel good but Tammie had plans and it is what it is. Her leaving made me mad. I'm not really sure why. Tammie didn't know that Kaylee was going to have a fever and I'd be battling my little bug when she made plans. I know that, and I also know it's healthy for her to leave this house and have some fun with friends. I just hate going into Kays room when I'm sick, its so risky.


I am so sick of being mad. Its not my nature to be mad and I find that I'm pissed. Pissed that my daughter is sick, pissed that we are imprisoned, and pissed my head isn't right. What a waste of precious energy.

We have to watch our daughter, our son, and our family. Kays temp, Christians well being, and the fact that something like this can make or break a family. We're ok, there's not a moving truck in the drive way or a departure note on the fridge. It's something you have to be aware of. Oh by the way, I'm pissed about work too.

Its so hard to have to work and more importantly sell ads. Its all about personality and I don't have it right now. My skills have disappeared. I just don't care. I'm trying but my smile is fake and my attention is elsewhere. I've reached out to the advertising community for help but no one has responded yet.


If there was someway I could tell the business community that I have ad space available in the top restaurants and nightclubs it would be such a big help. I know it sounds crazy but I'm mad that someone wouldn't say, hey this guy needs our help. It's only business and maybe something good will come of this whole ordeal. Where's that tipping point?


I've worked hard at this and would hate to see it collapse but if my ad sales don't come around I might be scooping ice cream at Baskin Robins sooner then later. Maybe I'm confused, maybe exhausted, or maybe I am mad. Who knows.