July 13, 2007 - Friday the 13th - We spent the day at Childrens Mercy Hospital getting 5 minutes of chemotherapy. It took 4 hours of time but who cares. We received the treatment now we have to wait to see what effects it will have. Kaylee has only been getting 50% of treatment and she has been getting sick. We expect a sick weekend, but hope for the best. Kaylee lost another 3-4 lbs. since Monday. She has lost 30lbs. in 2 weeks and is so weak that we have to assist in the little things that weren't so tiring a week ago. Stairs,getting in and out of the car, and walking.
July 14, 2007 - 12:57 am - The chemo made her very sick this time. It is hard for me to go into her little room and watch her in pain. She says she is tired. I know I've written that before but it is different each time she says it. I so believe she is tired.
I've randomly started crying a couple times to people I normally wouldn't. Its even happened to strangers. I broke down today, they were "accessing KK's port", a terminology I wouldn't care to really know, but it made me so sad to watch them take more blood. It hurt when her eyes tightened as the pain hit from the nurse putting a needle in her. I want to take the pain away! I think I finally have gotten passed the numb stage and reality sometimes hits. Music sometimes triggers feelings that are sad or joyous. Maybe it's good to let out alittle emotion every now and again!
July 14, 2007 - 12:57 am - The chemo made her very sick this time. It is hard for me to go into her little room and watch her in pain. She says she is tired. I know I've written that before but it is different each time she says it. I so believe she is tired.
I've randomly started crying a couple times to people I normally wouldn't. Its even happened to strangers. I broke down today, they were "accessing KK's port", a terminology I wouldn't care to really know, but it made me so sad to watch them take more blood. It hurt when her eyes tightened as the pain hit from the nurse putting a needle in her. I want to take the pain away! I think I finally have gotten passed the numb stage and reality sometimes hits. Music sometimes triggers feelings that are sad or joyous. Maybe it's good to let out alittle emotion every now and again!
I sometimes wondered what it would be like to take care of Tammie or her taking care of me if one of us fell ill. It was always in the the far future. I never considered taking care of one of the kids. I know there are people who have dealt with this before me and unfortunately there'll be others. I wouldn't wish this on anyone.
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