A whisper

I want to share a story from my bro-in-law's funeral. The service was incredible. I'm not sure if that's the right word or appropriate, but that's the only word I can use to describe the service.

I arrived after most of the other family members. So many emotions went through my head on the drive there. I was sick to my stomache. But after watching all the people shuffle in and all the stories people shared I felt much different leaving than I did when I arrived. I felt like Steve was laid to rest and at peace.

His life was celebrated and the stories people shared were in line with who he was. Most stories started out with Steve having a beer, a cig, some foul words, and an incident that was worth sharing. Almost every encounter you had with him turned out to be a story you wanted to share with someone.

For me I was always impressed with his carefree attitude. He didn't care what anyone thought of him - what he did or what he said. Something I'm not able to do. I always worry about what people might say or think if I speak my mind openly or if I do something out of the norm. Not Steve, he did what he wanted to. It was a quality I admired about him.

When the service was over I was in line to say my final good-bye. I was in line behind someone, this someone was a member of his wife's family. I may have been too close because I heard her last words.

She whispered to Steve, "I will make sure your kids are taken care of, don't you worry."

I had mixed emotions. I was upset that he wouldn't be here to do that himself. My thoughts were with the kids and how he wouldn't be here any longer to offer a touch, a word, or sense of security that only a father can. I was saddened by the fact that he was no longer here. But then I thought, he's in a place now where he'll be able to do great things for the kids and will always be with them. Something he may not have been able to do while he was here.

That whisper I heard was sincere and real. This family member, who I won't mention out of respect for her privacy, is an individual who does what she says. She's an individual who makes me feel safe & secure when I'm in the same room with her. Her demanor is tough but it has a sprinkle of love to it. I knew she meant it when I heard her say, "I will make sure your kids are taken care of, don't you worry."

I have written about Steve daily for the last six days because his passing has hurt me. He was my family and my friend. So many memories and so many years together in the same family. It feels so empty losing a brother. I wish I could have one more beer, one more cig, or one more foul word together. Rest in peace my brother.