I got Christian off for the third day of school under my watch. We did it! I've been the morning guy since Thursday and we didn't have any break downs. Yeah. Hopefully the girls will come home today. It's all about the numbers.
I'm not to good being alone. I have people around me all the time. That is all by design. Maybe the word is co-dependent. I rarely spend the day alone. When I'm out working, I'll find someone to tag along. This usually leads to problems with the help because they want to continue to hang out. My partners have made a policy that new guys can't hangout with me. They never want to go back to work after cruising with me. I jack the rhythm up.
At night I have the family. I don't have to be with the kids, but just knowing they're here in the house is enough for me. Tammie too. Just knowing I can go down the stairs and hang is comforting. So you can see why I feel lost these days at home. But I have Christian when I need the kid fix.
I wonder where that comes from. I go out with a crew of guys and I work with a group of people. I barely have alone time. When I work alone, you can find me at a vendors place of business talking. If I can't find a vendor I'll head to our job site looking for company. I admire and envy people that enjoy their time alone. My business partner, Ken Campbell, doesn't need company. He does fine alone. My biggest fear is being alone and sleeping alone. No kids or woman terrifies me. I've been alone in the past and I scare myself. Yes it's true, I'm terrified of those memories of my youth. I never want to be that guy from my early days that had to be out and about to occupy my time. Those days usually consisted of a bar or liquor, and I hate liquor these days. Plus, I don't have the swagger I once had.
I guess I could go a lifetime and not recognize my issues or I can say I know my issues and I'm ahead of the rest who don't. But whatever the case, I need to continue doing my thing and forget about my shortcomings. I've made it this far and I intend to make it even further. So if I'm talking too much or driving you nuts, I apologize. Just be glad it's me confessing and struggling and not you!
I'm not to good being alone. I have people around me all the time. That is all by design. Maybe the word is co-dependent. I rarely spend the day alone. When I'm out working, I'll find someone to tag along. This usually leads to problems with the help because they want to continue to hang out. My partners have made a policy that new guys can't hangout with me. They never want to go back to work after cruising with me. I jack the rhythm up.
At night I have the family. I don't have to be with the kids, but just knowing they're here in the house is enough for me. Tammie too. Just knowing I can go down the stairs and hang is comforting. So you can see why I feel lost these days at home. But I have Christian when I need the kid fix.
I wonder where that comes from. I go out with a crew of guys and I work with a group of people. I barely have alone time. When I work alone, you can find me at a vendors place of business talking. If I can't find a vendor I'll head to our job site looking for company. I admire and envy people that enjoy their time alone. My business partner, Ken Campbell, doesn't need company. He does fine alone. My biggest fear is being alone and sleeping alone. No kids or woman terrifies me. I've been alone in the past and I scare myself. Yes it's true, I'm terrified of those memories of my youth. I never want to be that guy from my early days that had to be out and about to occupy my time. Those days usually consisted of a bar or liquor, and I hate liquor these days. Plus, I don't have the swagger I once had.
I guess I could go a lifetime and not recognize my issues or I can say I know my issues and I'm ahead of the rest who don't. But whatever the case, I need to continue doing my thing and forget about my shortcomings. I've made it this far and I intend to make it even further. So if I'm talking too much or driving you nuts, I apologize. Just be glad it's me confessing and struggling and not you!
No comments:
Post a Comment