My Baby Girl...

I had to post these last pictures. If you click on the pics you get a better view. The picture on the left is from Los Angeles. It is the last picture that I have of Kaylee dressing up for Halloween. It is from 2003. She was a fairy or renaissance girl.???? Sorry Kaylee, I'm not sure what that costume was. You looked beautiful!

I am scared of losing my child and I'm scared to death if I would ever have to face a Halloween without Kay. This is such a taboo thing to say but it is my reality. I'm scared. I know everyone says she'll be fine and I know she will, but I worry.

It might make some of my family and friends mad that I just wrote what I wrote but it's my thoughts tonight as I look at recent and past pictures. Tonight and every night, before we check into CMH, is difficult. I just took Kaylee to Price Chopper and she bought some make-up, colored pencils, poster board, and snacks. Once we get there, she usually doesn't eat her goodies, but we have them.

Kay will check in at noon. They will test her levels-blood,immune, and platelets. If all works out we stay, but if her levels are too low we go home. We come back in a week and spend Thanksgiving in CMH.

I really don't care one way or another. I personally wish her levels don't work out and we come back next week. I want her real strong when we fight and do this poison. I'd hate to miss Thanksgiving, but if she needs the time to heal and get strong, I'm all for it.

Good night and I hope every one has a good day tomorrow. Please say a prayer for our child and our family. - MQ