If There's a Next Time, I'll Do Better

So I just turned 46. Plenty of time to do things in my life. A lot of time to accomplish what I want and what I dream. But there are a few things that are done and gone that I'll never get to do again.

 

 

Today would have been my 20th wedding anniversary. I was with my ex-wife, Tammie, on and off for nearly 30 years. Just kids when we started out. A confused and lost man when it ended.

 

 

I wasn't the best husband. It would be very easy to blame it on things such as youth, lack of knowledge, or childhood issues - but I can't. I was just a disrespectful, self-centered individual. Ugly characteristics I carried through much of my relationship. A relationship I'll never get to make right because its gone. We're friends today and all I can ask or hope for is that I'm a better friend to her than I was a mate. 

 

 

Realistically or probably, I'll get or could get married again. The next attempt I will be a better love. The next time I will be more respectable. I'll be like a gifted carpenter or cook who has one more time or chance to get it right. I will measure twice and cut once. Concentrate more on the written recipe then just eyeing or winging it.

 

 

I would have been a better father too. Because any man who treats his wife bad also treats his kids bad. It's my belief that any discomfort you bring into the home falls on everyone in that home. If you're oblivious or ignorant to your actions, then maybe you can go with the insanity defense, but I was neither. Just a man who should buttoned up his lip, who should have picked his battles more carefully, and who should've worn a giant wrist watch, with a loud alarm, to know when it was time to go home. 

 

 

I hope my kids and Tammie realize that I love them and did the best I could with what I had. Unfortunately I was a novice who just didn't get it right. Running a family, and loving your family, is the most important job anyone will ever have. Make it count and make it right. Just my thoughts.  

What You Take from the Day...

I had a conversation with my mother this morning about a wonderful man she worked with in Los Angeles. She's been retired from his company for some time and has since relocated to Las Vegas. She was in LA this past week and weekend and visited with this former boss who she has known for the past 27 years.  To refer to him as former boss wouldn't be the correct title as much as a dear friend. I tell you this because she arrived back home, in Las Vegas, with a smile and a happy heart after seeing all that this nice man, friend, has done with his business after some troubled and uncertain times he, his family and employees faced.

I write about this not to tell you about her thoughts or opinions but about what I took from the conversation. My mom was happy. This happiness wasn't due to anything tangible or monetary that she received from her visit but a pure happiness from what she witnessed in another human being. I guess I'm referring to that old saying "sometimes you have to take time to smell the flowers".

I had the same feeling yesterday watching Jordan Spieth win the Master's Golf Tournament. To see a young man accomplish the win and set so many records I couldn't help but feel happy, great, proud and so many other emotions for him and his family. I don't know him, as a matter of fact I had never heard of him prior to this weekend, but yet I felt something wonderful as a parent. I can't exactly put my finger on it but I think it was a sense of pride that so many things go into a great moment.

Hard work, opportunity and luck are just a few of the factors that factor into a great moment. I had no hand in any of those "coming together" factors but was blessed to get an opportunity to watch a wonderful win and what appears a hard working young man attain a dream. A moment.

I encourage anyone who may come across this to take your time to admire, not envy, someone else's happiness. Relate to it as a parent, a family member, or former employee. What ever the tie in, do it, because happiness for others brings hope for others when you tell the story. That story could be of a former boss, a golfer, or any individual you've observed doing great things. It's what you take from the day. Just this man's opinion!