Potato Casserole...

I am pleased to announce that my strapping fifteen year old ate for the first time in five days. She had two bowls of potato casserole. Casserole that my sister made especially for Kaylee. It's one of those dishes that you only get on Thanksgiving or Christmas. My mother's receipt. My daughter's favorite.

Kaylee looks so much better. Her eyes are back. That is my frantic point when those eyes go blank. I never want anyone to see that look in their loved one, if it means I have to take that experience from everyone I will. It is torture to watch this sickness sneak into your child. You have to be tough.

Some might question my toughness. Others might judge my strength. I'm here to say that I've always been up for a fight. There has always been a toughness and strongness inside of me. It's just that I have to release that hurt and I have to do it in a healthy way. I find writing a great release. You are my guest and I confess my thoughts and worries with you. My stories are personal and truthful. My pain and suffering.

I read my writings and sometimes second guess my candid stories. But I admit that I sometimes cry when I read my story. It hurts to know that some days are good and some are really bad. It makes me sick to think that I will drive Kaylee back in seven days for more torture. There's no options but to think I will get her up bright and early, make sure she is buckled up, and drive her back to the needle that makes her sick. What do you do?

I look forward to the day that we will talk about our journey. I look to the day that Kay will share our story with her family. It is a long road but we will get there. I am taking it one day at a time, today just happened to be a day centered around POTATO CASSEROLE.