Here I go again. Today is the day that I get to make decisions regarding my short term goals. I'm getting my timetable done today and I'm excited. I'm ready to get a new place in the city and looking forward to moving towards my long term goals. I've got my sights set on a few different job opportunities and getting back into the entrepreneur society here in Kansas City. It's been a while since I've been active in that community but I'm still welcomed to participate. I know this because I've been in contact with certain key individuals who've been spear heading the movement these days and they said I'm welcomed to participate in any capacity. They were glad that I'm getting geared up to join their endeavors. But I must say that I was relieved to hear that. I need a purpose and I may have found it.
It's interesting the feeling you get when you think about doing something that you're passionate about. I have been a guest speaker in events in the past but I'm not sure that I would want to do that at this moment. I'm thinking about going in the entrepreneur world as an inventor or student of the program. I'm ready to make millions and I think my best chance at that is through my creations. I believe going back to the basics would be my best route. I am good at certain aspects of being an entrepreneur but not so good at others. I really would like to have someone who could help me make up for my shortcomings. Who better than an organization of like minded individuals who want, like I do, to put KC on the map as a creative hub.
I'm so ready to get past this yucky period in my life. I have and am sick in my head. I had certain beliefs regarding love and commitment that weren't realistic. I thought if 2 people loved each other that you get together and create a life. It's false my friends. One person may feel it, but just as quickly as they savor it, they may not feel it like you in a short amount of time. I guess what I'm saying is that its all just in a matter of time, you may be loved or someone can fall out of love. Your partners belief system is theirs and not yours. No matter how hard you try to change things or control a situation, you can't. Everyone has their own way, that's what makes us unique as individuals. We all want or don't want, simply said.
Funny thing is that if you truly have a belief system in your head on what transpires with certain events then when you become aware that it isn't so, it sets you back, way back. But I'm humbled and accepting of the situation. God knows that I wouldn't want to be with anyone that doesn't want to be with me. More importantly, I wouldn't want someone I love to be unhappy that they're with me. Although it's tough to think that, I think everyone should have dignity for themselves. I lost mine for a second but I am a little stronger and standing a little taller. I was so weak legged that I don't think I'd like me either because of who I became. To my defense, I was truly in love and needed advice only my partner could provide. But I fouled up and ended waiting too long for that approval on so many things that I lost. But that about to change immediately. I'm going to win because I always do and I'll be back on top. I just fell for a second.
Have a great May Day and love the one you're with.
