Congratulations Autumn Hendrix on your 1st blog post from last year!
Monday, July 4, 2016
Prevalent
If you don't shift gears in a car you will burn up the transmission. There's no question about it. In life if you don't shift gears, adapt to the ebbs and flows of your life, you'll burn out. I've recently started seeing the difference of one year to the next. My mother and grandmother were just in town, in from Michigan. They spend 8 days with Michael, my boyfriend, and I. It was just over a week but when you're use to being alone, with no kids or roommates, one or seven days seems like a month or two. It wasn't the company nor the time but the fact that we get to adjust our time, our schedules, to our wristwatch. We cherish our life, whether it be solitude or highly engaginng.I mention one year to the next because I've seen a huge difference from this past year to the previous before. I'm in love, a fact and a relationship that wasn't there a year before. I've seen other relationships in my life prosper over the year that were struggling in certain areas. I have to say that I'm happy, the happiest, in certain ways that I never knew I could or would. In particular I've found that I can have a best friend, lover, and partner all in one person. I had always heard about this phenom, but I've never had it. My life always had me playing a certain role. I was a mother or wife, a provider or parent, a friend or a spectator. Today I'm more than any of those and all of those things. I feel I've arrived somewhere I didn't know was possible.
Last week I had my granddaughter for a few days. It was great to have four generations under one roof. I have to say the reason I breathe is because I live to see my grand baby, my baby. Don't get me wrong, I'm deeply in love with my children, but this little girl steals my breathe. But I'm not going to get into that love tonight, that will be for a different time, but I'm here to tell you a quick story. A story about innocence, prevalent love, and thankfulness.
Lillie, my granddaughter, just turned 3 yrs. old in April. She likes to smile and do funny little thigs that grab your heart. While visiting she loves to stake her claim on me from Michael. Her little body, her little self loves to grab me in front of my boyfriend to let him know that I belong to her. It becomes a game during her visits. My Lillie will grab me and whisper, but in a loud way, "MY GRANDMA!". So at different times Michael will grab me and loudly whisper, "MY AUTUMN!". This goes on the entire time. But this last visit, Lillie took it up a notch.
Michael does a certain thinng that only he and I know. He touches my face with his hand or hands in a loving way. He'll put the back of his hands and front of his hands gently on my face. It's loving me in his own unique way. He does it, I feel it, and it works well. It may be done with cards or poems in other relationships, but in this one, my guy touches me in a way that a hundred cards or even one thousand poems couldn't compete with. I knew what it was the first time he did it. and since then, it's become our thing. One of those things, a private gesture, that only you and your lover knows. Well, that's what I thought, anyways.
Little Lillie was watching Michael doing something and waited for his attention to look her way. When he did, she put the back and front of her hands on my face. She did it gently, as if she was handling a precious piece of china, her hands moved as smoothe as a surgeon would with their patient, and with cofidence as a ball player would, with only seconds left on the clock, bound and determined to make the buzzer beating winning shot. I hope you get the picture, but to put it in an elementary scope, she was acting like Michael touching my face. Lillie was loving me and did it mockingly towards Michael.
I tell you this because a little girl, who you're not sure could or would recognize these sorts of things or gestures, is old enough to see the love that comes my way. She's present enough and old enough to see my love. To know my Michael loves me in a certain way that I thought was only visible and recognizable to me. But Lillie was beating Michael at his own game, his own gesture. I must say that this past year has been really nice. I'm loved, I know it. I'm loved and a little girl, my baby, knows it. This love, a prevalent love, is smoothly flowing in my life and is noticible through the innocent eyes of a child, who loves her grandma.
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