My beautiful daughter, Kaylee, is 18 yrs. old now and attending NW Missouri State. It's her Freshman year. The name fits appropriately because it's a fresh start for her. The thought was always there but when her school didn't submit her picture in the yearbook it sealed it for me. She needs a fresh start.
Tonight I picked her up at school in Maryville, MO for her appointments and commitments she has with Children's Mercy Hospital tomorrow. It was my first time there because when she moved a few weeks ago I was in a wheelchair and it was 100 degrees and I would have been in the way. If you didn't hear I was attacked on April 25th at a bar by several young men and was left with a broken arm and leg. I was in St. Luke's for nearly 30 days and acquired blood clots during my nice stay. Oh, I also was in bed for nearly four months but that's a different blog and old news.
Kaylee's room is cozy and Tammie made it very comfortable. Kaylee is roommates with her best friend Alyssa. Her friends Amanda and Halley are three doors down from them as well. Kaylee looked so grown-up when she came down to let me and Tam in her dorm. The ride wasn't bad and when she was with us going home it felt really nice. I miss her madly but I don't call her much. It's not that I don't want to call but I find it easier to not get caught up calling and pestering. I think she's known me long enough to know that it's my way of letting her go into the big world without me.
It's amazing how everything moves. People grow and change and their scenery changes too. I have been a few places and have come across many different people because I too branched out. I first left at 19 yrs. of age for California. I lived in San Diego with several guys from KC. It was so fun. I tried college for a couple semesters but it was never my thing. I wish I had a degree right now especially since my livelihood relies on me to hustle a buck to feed my family. I wonder what it would be like to go to work and collect money from someone else besides myself. This last few months have been a challenge. I've been laid up and it seems like one set back after another.
I've decided to write again. This time I'm going to do it because the release I received last time from my writing was very healthy but it won't be for survival this time around or to get me through the day. This time it will be because I can use the release again but not necessarily for survival but for the therapeutic adjustments it produce within myself. This time it won't be so much about Kaylee but about me and my travels. I am at a crossroad in my life personally and how it unfolds is going to be interesting. At least to me and those around me who depend on me. For some reason I lost myself over the course of the last few years and I need to regroup. It might work out or there's a good possibility that I might fall on my face. I really can't afford to fall on my face right now so I have to get busy and take control of the reigns of my life and succeed at whatever I do.
I have been in advertising for sometime now and I just dropped that from my new business plan. I am going to concentrate on networks, the assembly of networks, and new products. The effort and time it takes to sell ads is just to demanding and took control of my life. Do good and you're a hero, sell nothing and you're a zero. I want to create and make money and put people to work. The advertising world is made up of people who aren't like me. I conformed to that instead of going in the direction I wanted to because it paid the bills. Like one of my partners once said, "you shouldn't be in the ad biz if you don't want to sell ads" and he was right. As a matter of fact so many people were right and I turned into the person that wasn't me. But into the person that I thought everyone else wanted me to be. Not sure if that sounds right but it makes sense to me. I had people invest in me because I was creative then all of a sudden I was suppose to shelf this creative person and turn into an Advertising Executive. Not me. I am going to sell but its going to be products and services and everyone else can do the selling of advertising to fuel the machine but it won't be me!
